When a Woman Isn't in the Mood...

[PoliticalChic]

According to my sister "Men have to have sex to feel loved, women have to feel loved to have sex."

This statement from AgainSheila inspired this thread because there are fundamental differences between men and women in regard to sex.

When a Woman Isn't in the Mood: Part I
Dennis Prager
Tuesday, December 23, 2008

First, women need to recognize how a man understands a wife's refusal to have sex with him: A husband knows that his wife loves him first and foremost by her willingness to give her body to him. This is rarely the case for women. Few women know their husband loves them because he gives her his body (the idea sounds almost funny). This is, therefore, usually a revelation to a woman. Many women think men's natures are similar to theirs, and this is so different from a woman's nature, that few women know this about men unless told about it.

This is a major reason many husbands clam up. A man whose wife frequently denies him sex will first be hurt, then sad, then angry, then quiet. And most men will never tell their wives why they have become quiet and distant. They are afraid to tell their wives. They are often made to

First, women need to recognize how a man understands a wife's refusal to have sex with him: A husband knows that his wife loves him first and foremost by her willingness to give her body to him. This is rarely the case for women. Few women know their husband loves them because he gives her his body (the idea sounds almost funny). This is, therefore, usually a revelation to a woman. Many women think men's natures are similar to theirs, and this is so different from a woman's nature, that few women know this about men unless told about it.

This is a major reason many husbands clam up. A man whose wife frequently denies him sex will first be hurt, then sad, then angry, then quiet. And most men will never tell their wives why they have become quiet and distant. They are afraid to tell their wives. They are often made to feel ashamed of their male sexual nature, and they are humiliated (indeed emasculated) by feeling that they are reduced to having to beg for sex.

When first told this about men, women generally react in one or more of five ways:

1. You have to be kidding. That certainly isn't my way of knowing if he loves me. There have to be deeper ways than sex for me to show my husband that I love him.

2. If this is true, men really are animals.

3. Not my man. He knows I love him by the kind and loving way I treat him.

4. You have it backwards. If he truly loved me, he wouldn't expect sex when I'm not in the mood.

5. I know this and that's why I rarely say no to sex.

Read full article at below link.
Townhall.com - Printer Friendly

What is your view?

 

[Red Dawn]

That was depressing to read.

I'd hate to be in a relationship where my partner felt "obligated" to have sex.

 

[Andrew2382]

The Difference Between Men and Women
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their ......

''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.

''What?'' says Roger, startled.

''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . . Oh, I feel so......''

(She breaks down, sobbing.)

''What?'' says Roger.

''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''

''There's no horse?'' says Roger.

''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.

''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

''Yes,'' he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.

'What way?'' says Roger.

"That way about time,'' says Elaine.

''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.

''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:

"Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?''

 

[Ravi]

That guy has a serious complex.

 

[Red Dawn]

That guy has a serious complex.

Oh shit, I just saw it was written by noted wingnut Dennis Praeger.

Hasn't that guy been divorced like three times or something?


Yeah, I really want advice on women and relationhips from him.

 

[dilloduck]

That was depressing to read.

I'd hate to be in a relationship where my partner felt "obligated" to have sex.

If they do it right you will never know.

 

[Ravi]

That guy has a serious complex.

Oh shit, I just saw it was written by noted wingnut Dennis Praeger.

Hasn't that guy been divorced like three times or something?


Yeah, I really want advice on women and relationhips from him.

I can just here him now, after he smacks his wife...Listen, Doreen, if you don't have sex with me you have some sort of mental deficiency for not wanting to please your master. And you sure as hell are being unwise.

 

[dilloduck]

2. If this is true, men really are animals.

Correct. Compared to most women's sexual nature, men's sexual nature is far closer to that of animals. So what? That is the way he is made. Blame God and nature. Telling your husband to control it is a fine idea. But he already does. Every man who is sexually faithful to his wife already engages in daily heroic self-control. He has married knowing he will have to deny his sexual nature's desire for variety for the rest of his life. To ask that he also regularly deny himself sex with the one woman in the world with whom he is permitted sex is asking far too much. Deny him enough times and he may try to fill this need with another woman. If he is too moral to ever do that, he will match your sexual withdrawal with emotional and other forms of withdrawal.

Bingo.

 

[random3434]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koUlQ6JhkCs]YouTube - Charlie Parker - I'm in the Mood for Love (1949)[/ame]

 

[Shogun]

Enjoy your ticking timeclock on your way to cougerville, bitches. When you are in your 40s and discover that Desperate Housewives doesn't really reflect reality you may regret your silly eve ensler reproach of *gasp* a man wanting to fuck you. Have fun with your cat while men of the same age as you enjoy women 10 years younger.

 

[Diuretic]

It conformed one thing for me. Prager wouldn't get a job writing for a real publication. His stuff is trash. This is no different.

 

[Cecilie1200]

According to my sister "Men have to have sex to feel loved, women have to feel loved to have sex."

This statement from AgainSheila inspired this thread because there are fundamental differences between men and women in regard to sex.

When a Woman Isn't in the Mood: Part I
Dennis Prager
Tuesday, December 23, 2008

First, women need to recognize how a man understands a wife's refusal to have sex with him: A husband knows that his wife loves him first and foremost by her willingness to give her body to him. This is rarely the case for women. Few women know their husband loves them because he gives her his body (the idea sounds almost funny). This is, therefore, usually a revelation to a woman. Many women think men's natures are similar to theirs, and this is so different from a woman's nature, that few women know this about men unless told about it.

This is a major reason many husbands clam up. A man whose wife frequently denies him sex will first be hurt, then sad, then angry, then quiet. And most men will never tell their wives why they have become quiet and distant. They are afraid to tell their wives. They are often made to

First, women need to recognize how a man understands a wife's refusal to have sex with him: A husband knows that his wife loves him first and foremost by her willingness to give her body to him. This is rarely the case for women. Few women know their husband loves them because he gives her his body (the idea sounds almost funny). This is, therefore, usually a revelation to a woman. Many women think men's natures are similar to theirs, and this is so different from a woman's nature, that few women know this about men unless told about it.

This is a major reason many husbands clam up. A man whose wife frequently denies him sex will first be hurt, then sad, then angry, then quiet. And most men will never tell their wives why they have become quiet and distant. They are afraid to tell their wives. They are often made to feel ashamed of their male sexual nature, and they are humiliated (indeed emasculated) by feeling that they are reduced to having to beg for sex.

When first told this about men, women generally react in one or more of five ways:

1. You have to be kidding. That certainly isn't my way of knowing if he loves me. There have to be deeper ways than sex for me to show my husband that I love him.

2. If this is true, men really are animals.

3. Not my man. He knows I love him by the kind and loving way I treat him.

4. You have it backwards. If he truly loved me, he wouldn't expect sex when I'm not in the mood.

5. I know this and that's why I rarely say no to sex.

Read full article at below link.
Townhall.com - Printer Friendly

What is your view?

You mean there are times when other women aren't in the mood? How odd.

 

[Red Dawn]

Correct. Compared to most women's sexual nature, men's sexual nature is far closer to that of animals. So what? That is the way he is made. Blame God and nature. Telling your husband to control it is a fine idea. But he already does. Every man who is sexually faithful to his wife already engages in daily heroic self-control. He has married knowing he will have to deny his sexual nature's desire for variety for the rest of his life. To ask that he also regularly deny himself sex with the one woman in the world with whom he is permitted sex is asking far too much. Deny him enough times and he may try to fill this need with another woman. If he is too moral to ever do that, he will match your sexual withdrawal with emotional and other forms of withdrawal.

OMFG, that was painful to read. Praeger, just go ahead and turn your man-card in already. That was horrible. Beyond suck.

As long as we're pontificating on male behaviour, this tripe was the biggest whine-fest I've read in ages. LOL. Red blooded heterosexual men don't bitch, whine, and moan to complete strangers in some fucked up rambling essay.

"Daily heroic self-control" ..... ROTFLMAO!

 

[PoliticalChic]

That was depressing to read.

I'd hate to be in a relationship where my partner felt "obligated" to have sex.

Make a good choice, if you haven't already, and sex won't be an obligation. If you look at sex as an obligation, I would wonder about the relationships you have had.

 

[Ravi]

I think this writer read Freud once and he's never gotten over it.

I look forward to his next installment of why women should have sex with their husbands no matter what their mood is...

 

[dilloduck]

I think this writer read Freud once and he's never gotten over it.

I look forward to his next installment of why women should have sex with their husbands no matter what their mood is...

oh no----women are far from attractive in certain moods.

 

[editec]

In my experience, I am much more likely not to have been in the mood, than any woman I have been involved with.

Of course, we all know that good women can fake it out of love or loyalty or whatever, too.

So who really knows how often some woman who loved me, or liked me enough, did the magic mystery dance with me when she might not really have been in the mood?

It's happened, of course.

Because while I cannot say for sure what her mood was before the game started, if the woman couldn't achieve climax, (and I was in form) then something was clearly amiss.

But the bottom line is why would I want to make love to anybody who wasn't in the mood?

I mean what's the point?

Doesn't it take two to tango?

Certainly it does if you want both of you to enjoy the dance.

 

[dilloduck]

In my experience, I am much more likely not to have been in the mood, than any woman I have been involved with.

Of course, we all know that good women can fake it out of love or loyalty or whatever, too.

So who really knows how often some woman who loved me, or liked me enough, did the magic mystery dance with me when she might not really have been in the mood?

It's happened, of course.

Because while I cannot say for sure what her mood was before the game started, if the woman couldn't achieve climax, (and I was in form) then something was clearly amiss.

But the bottom line is why would I want to make love to anybody who wasn't in the mood?

I mean what's the point?

Doesn't it take two to tango?

Certainly it does if you want both of you to enjoy the dance.

I think the sex drive in some people don't discriminate as to the passion involved.

 

[Andrew2382]

it's like my grandpappy always told me

son, the top of every womans head looks the same

 

[Ravi]

In my experience, I am much more likely not to have been in the mood, than any woman I have been involved with.

Of course, we all know that good women can fake it out of love or loyalty or whatever, too.

So who really knows how often some woman who loved me, or liked me enough, did the magic mystery dance with me when she might not really have been in the mood?

It's happened, of course.

Because while I cannot say for sure what her mood was before the game started, if the woman couldn't achieve climax, (and I was in form) then something was clearly amiss.

But the bottom line is why would I want to make love to anybody who wasn't in the mood?

I mean what's the point?

Doesn't it take two to tango?

Certainly it does if you want both of you to enjoy the dance.

I think the sex drive in some people don't discriminate as to the passion involved.

So the article is wrong? All men aren't the same.