SpidermanTuba
Rookie
- Banned
- #1
I'm going to start off this post being fair...
by pointing out what NOLA does not have.
We don't have the best public school system ...
We don't have the lowest crime rate...
We don't have the Olive Garden...
We have less than 1 Starbucks per 100,000 residents...
We don't have pristine ski slopes...
Now I will tell you what we do have that you don't...
Freedom-
I can walk to the store, buy a beer, crack it open, and drink it on the way home - and I don't live in the boonies, I live in the city.
Brass Bands-
A couple of weeks ago on esplanade they had a triatholon going down one lane and a 2nd line parade going down the other. You may have a triatholon where you live, but you don't have 2nd line brass bands, and you certainly don't have 2nd line brass bands and a triatholon sharing the same street. And you won't get this kind of music anywhere else in the world - unless you're fortunate to have a New Orleans band coming through.
Jazz Funerals-
We have jazz funerals at any time in any place. I woke up a couple of weeks ago to one going down my street, a herse, a band, and 20 mourners, very small. They played funeral music on my street corner for 30 minutes. You will never wake up to something like that because they do not have them where you live.
Food-
If you want to go out for a good meal, you have to actually decide where you want to go. We can take the phone book, throw a dart at the restaurant section, and be guaranteed culinary delight.
No snow-
Though this may not apply so some of my fellow southerners - snow is not a problem here. You will never have to wake up in the morning, put on 58263 layers of clothes, and trudge out to the car, slipping on the ice cracking your head on the way, to get the snow off the windshield and pray she starts. Other New Orleanians may not appreciate the lack of snow - but having lived in places where it snows - I do. snow sucks.
Mardi Gras Indians-
You don't have Mardi Gras Indians. We do. They exist nowhere in the Universe but here. If you wanna see one, you'll have to get up early Mardi Gras day. Or check them out St. Joseph's day or Super Sunday. Or look at my avatar.
Mardi Gras-
Speaking of Mardi Gras Indians - if you're not in Louisiana, you don't have Mardi Gras. Unless you in Mobile, in which case, you have a sucky Mardi Gras (don't mean to rag on Mobile, its actually a great place, but their Mardi Gras pales in comparison). I'm sure you have plenty of holidays that act as pretenses to having a good time - 4th of July, Thanksgiving, etc. We have those, too. But we have a holiday that is dedicated to good times, without pretense or excuse - you don't.
Pride-
Most of the people where you live are trying as hard as fuck to move away - people where we live will do anything they can to stay here. Its called pride.
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
To those of you who just hate for hate's sake - fuck you , suck on it, we have more fun than you.
To the rest of you - if you want to see something UNIQUELY AMERICAN - that you will get nowhere else in the world - come to New Orleans. I can help you see it - provide advice on what to do in the city, and if the timing is right, I will be your personal guide. Email me at [email protected]
P.S. - my entire state has shit you will never see where you live. New Orleans is just the most prominent example. You won't see Mamou Mari Gras in New Orleans, and unless you live in Acadiana - you won't see it where you live, either.
by pointing out what NOLA does not have.
We don't have the best public school system ...
We don't have the lowest crime rate...
We don't have the Olive Garden...
We have less than 1 Starbucks per 100,000 residents...
We don't have pristine ski slopes...
Now I will tell you what we do have that you don't...
Freedom-
I can walk to the store, buy a beer, crack it open, and drink it on the way home - and I don't live in the boonies, I live in the city.
Brass Bands-
A couple of weeks ago on esplanade they had a triatholon going down one lane and a 2nd line parade going down the other. You may have a triatholon where you live, but you don't have 2nd line brass bands, and you certainly don't have 2nd line brass bands and a triatholon sharing the same street. And you won't get this kind of music anywhere else in the world - unless you're fortunate to have a New Orleans band coming through.
Jazz Funerals-
We have jazz funerals at any time in any place. I woke up a couple of weeks ago to one going down my street, a herse, a band, and 20 mourners, very small. They played funeral music on my street corner for 30 minutes. You will never wake up to something like that because they do not have them where you live.
Food-
If you want to go out for a good meal, you have to actually decide where you want to go. We can take the phone book, throw a dart at the restaurant section, and be guaranteed culinary delight.
No snow-
Though this may not apply so some of my fellow southerners - snow is not a problem here. You will never have to wake up in the morning, put on 58263 layers of clothes, and trudge out to the car, slipping on the ice cracking your head on the way, to get the snow off the windshield and pray she starts. Other New Orleanians may not appreciate the lack of snow - but having lived in places where it snows - I do. snow sucks.
Mardi Gras Indians-
You don't have Mardi Gras Indians. We do. They exist nowhere in the Universe but here. If you wanna see one, you'll have to get up early Mardi Gras day. Or check them out St. Joseph's day or Super Sunday. Or look at my avatar.
Mardi Gras-
Speaking of Mardi Gras Indians - if you're not in Louisiana, you don't have Mardi Gras. Unless you in Mobile, in which case, you have a sucky Mardi Gras (don't mean to rag on Mobile, its actually a great place, but their Mardi Gras pales in comparison). I'm sure you have plenty of holidays that act as pretenses to having a good time - 4th of July, Thanksgiving, etc. We have those, too. But we have a holiday that is dedicated to good times, without pretense or excuse - you don't.
Pride-
Most of the people where you live are trying as hard as fuck to move away - people where we live will do anything they can to stay here. Its called pride.
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
To those of you who just hate for hate's sake - fuck you , suck on it, we have more fun than you.
To the rest of you - if you want to see something UNIQUELY AMERICAN - that you will get nowhere else in the world - come to New Orleans. I can help you see it - provide advice on what to do in the city, and if the timing is right, I will be your personal guide. Email me at [email protected]
P.S. - my entire state has shit you will never see where you live. New Orleans is just the most prominent example. You won't see Mamou Mari Gras in New Orleans, and unless you live in Acadiana - you won't see it where you live, either.
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