1. "How many low-skilled Walmart employees have been dying of starvation recently?"
Well, Captain Compassion, life isnāt just about avoiding starvation. It's also about affording healthcare, housing, and, you know,
not living in abject poverty. Thereās a cozy spot between starvation and a living wage; itās called misery.
2. "Better than the gulag, eh comrade?"
What a utopian dream you weave! "At least you're not in the gulag." Oh, the heights of human aspiration! Can't we set our sights a tad higher than labor camp conditions? Or is that too audacious?
3. "How much did they pay in salary in 2020?"
Well, letās throw on the thinking cap and dive into the numbers. According to Walmart's 2021 Annual Report, they spent approximately $36 billion on wages and benefits for their U.S. employees in the fiscal year that ended in January 2021. (
source). Put that against their roughly 1.5 million U.S. employees in 2020 (
source) and, voilĆ , you get an average of about $24,000 per employee for the year. But, letās not kid ourselves, thatās not equally distributed like candies at a parade because executives are dining on filet mignon, not ramen noodles. For a reality check, the federal poverty line for a family of four in 2020 was $26,200 (
source). So, Walmart, the titan of retail, is paying wages that canāt lift a family of four out of poverty. Itās like giving someone a lifeline made of spaghetti.
And to add a dollop of perspective: Walmart had a net income of around $15.2 billion in 2020 (
source). Thatās the cash they have left to roll around in after all expenses. Meanwhile, a big chunk of their employees are playing financial Tetris trying to keep the lights on. It's as if Scrooge McDuck is doing the backstroke through his gold coins, while Bob Cratchit is counting pennies.
4. "It worked in Venezuela, right?"
Congratulations on unlocking the āMention a Completely Unrelated Countryā achievement! Comparing Walmart in the U.S. to Venezuela's economic crisis is like comparing apples to a space shuttle. Shall we talk about the successful mixed economies like Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Germany, Canada? No? Venezuela it is then!
5. "Picks up the tab? Walmart doesn't pay any salary? Are you sure?"
Walmart pays, sure. But when thatās not enough to live on, Uncle Sam has to step in with food stamps and Medicaid. Imagine giving someone half a sandwich and then strutting around like youāre ending world hunger.
6. "That's not what I'm laughing at, I'm laughing at clueless morons like you."
Laughing at āclueless morons,ā are you? Itās commendable that you can find humor in self-reflection. But be careful; too much laughter is bad for the stitches - you know, from that recent wit-ectomy, you seem to have undergone. It's all well and good to giggle, but when youāre standing in a sandbox with a shovel, you might want to aim higher than digging yourself into a hole. Let's try to elevate this banter to the shelf you can't reach without a step stool.
In Conclusion:
Let's choose to build a society where full-time work means living above the poverty line. Or, we can keep making absurd comparisons while donning a tin foil hat. I know which one Iād rather.
Toodles!