Soccer is much better. But if you like rewarding minimal effort and 3 points for trying...that's good. I guess your wall is full of participation trophies for "best teammate".
I don't get your butt hurt hangup here... The sports offer different skills, different requirements, and different rewards.
Soccer: foot skills, speed, endurance, spacing
Football (depending on position): Power, speed, hand-eye coordination, spacing, throwing/kicking accuracy
I like both sports, but since you're so anti-football, I'll say that while football has times between play, soccer has plenty of dead time when teams have the ball well within their side of the field and are just aimless passing around. There's no chance of scoring for long periods of time in soccer. What's exciting about football is that on any snap a HUGE play can happen quickly.
Meanwhile, since you want to bring some machismo into this by talking about participation trophies...
A. Go get a group of pro-soccer players, I'll get a group of NFL linebackers/linemen, and let's see who's tough.
B. Speaking of toughness, watching pro soccer players get bumped or even touched and immediately fall to the ground acting like they're in pain is easily the most wimpy, puss-bag display in professional sports on the planet.