Pfft, that's just funny as **** hahahaha
I had a buddy named Swillbie (You know it's gonna be bad already right?) he was constantly drinking/drunk. One day he decided to light a fart ~falls out of her chair laughing at the memory~ so he rips a fireball, swear to God it rose 5 foot, then his pants started on fire and burnt the shit out of his ass and ... "treasures." We end up in the ER, and as if that wasn't bad enough, the doctors (as if to punish him - religious folks) pumped his stomach out into a honey pot buhahahaha
All he had to say after getting out of the hospital (and sober) was holy **** I'm gonna shave from now on ~dies~