DrLove
Diamond Member

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)āFurious at Mitt Romney for participating in a Black Lives Matter march, Donald J. Trump declared on Monday that the Utah senator is ānot welcome in my bunker.ā
āMitt Romney thinks heās cute, first voting to impeach me and now marching,ā Trump told reporters. āWell, Iāve got news for Mitt: his invitation to my bunker is hereby revoked.ā
Trump said that, because of his disloyalty, Romney āwill never experience all that the best bunker in the world has to offer.ā
āThere are luxury recliners, televisions as far as the eye can see, and a bottomless pit of snacks,ā Trump boasted. āIf Mitt could see what heās missing, Iāll bet heād rethink some of the cute things heās done.ā
Trump said that he was reviewing the behavior of other officials, such as Defense Secretary Mark Esper, to determine whether they will retain their bunker privileges.
āIām not sure Esper is bunker material either,ā he mused.
Concluding his remarks, Trump said that there will be a photo of Romney at the entrance to the bunker in order to enable the Secret Service to bar the Utah senator, should he try to gain admission.
āSorry, Mitt,ā Trump sneered. āPeople like you donāt belong in a bunker. I do.ā
Furious Trump Declares Romney Not Welcome in Bunker
āMitt Romney thinks heās cute, first voting to impeach me and now marchingā for Black Lives Matter, Trump told reporters.