DrLove
Diamond Member

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)âDonald Trump claimed on Wednesday that Joe Biden is âincredibly sleepyâ and has âzero energy,â yet somehow is peppy enough to destroy life in the United States as we know it.
Speaking to Sean Hannity on Fox News, Trump attempted to explain the apparent contradiction between a person being barely sentient yet capable of singlehandedly dismantling a global superpower.
âSleepy Joe is practically unconscious and almost doesnât have a pulse,â Trump said. âBut thatâs because he has put his entire body into hibernation, like a bear.â
Trump went on to say that he had seen a documentary about bears on Animal Planet âthat was so scary, every voter needs to see it.â
âThis bear hibernated all winter, but then, when he woke up, he had enough energy to rip a hikerâs face off,â he said. âJust you watch. Joe Biden is conserving his energy right now, but, as sure as youâre sitting there, the minute he takes office he will rip this countryâs face off.â
Trump said that, in November, the American people face a stark choice. âItâs between me, their favorite President, and an angry bear who hasnât eaten in months,â he said.
Trump Claims That Sleepy Person With No Energy Will Somehow Be Peppy Enough to Destroy Entire Country
âJust you watch,â the President warned Sean Hannity.
