Transgender teen: 'My death needs to mean something'

[Derideo_Te]

So sad that her parents didn't accept her and she felt so isolated.

I wish she has reached out to others.

Does it say in the article that his parents didn't accept him?

His suicide note details his parents refusal to accept him as a girl, and the efforts they went through to force him to be a boy.

His parents should have gotten him psychiatric help and recognized what this need to control could lead to.

They took him to Christian counselors who also tried to make him be a boy.

The "Pray Away the Gay" never works. It is just a cop out for the parents. Professional counseling for all of them was in order IMO.

He wasn't gay

How else would she have been perceived by those Christian "counselors" who tried to make him into a boy?

 

[R.D.]

So sad that her parents didn't accept her and she felt so isolated.

I wish she has reached out to others.

Does it say in the article that his parents didn't accept him?

His suicide note details his parents refusal to accept him as a girl, and the efforts they went through to force him to be a boy.

His parents should have gotten him psychiatric help and recognized what this need to control could lead to.

They took him to Christian counselors who also tried to make him be a boy.

The "Pray Away the Gay" never works. It is just a cop out for the parents. Professional counseling for all of them was in order IMO.

He wasn't gay

She isn't gay if you accept her as a she, if you are seeing her as a him then he was gay.

Scroll through her tumblr.

I read it. He referees to himself as he. He played gay to try to control his parents. He also clearly left out many details, looking for sympathy, as teens do.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

So sad that her parents didn't accept her and she felt so isolated.

I wish she has reached out to others.

Does it say in the article that his parents didn't accept him?

His suicide note details his parents refusal to accept him as a girl, and the efforts they went through to force him to be a boy.

His parents should have gotten him psychiatric help and recognized what this need to control could lead to.

They took him to Christian counselors who also tried to make him be a boy.

The "Pray Away the Gay" never works. It is just a cop out for the parents. Professional counseling for all of them was in order IMO.

Now we have another thread that says spirituality cures mental illness.

 

[Michelle420]

Does it say in the article that his parents didn't accept him?

His suicide note details his parents refusal to accept him as a girl, and the efforts they went through to force him to be a boy.

His parents should have gotten him psychiatric help and recognized what this need to control could lead to.

They took him to Christian counselors who also tried to make him be a boy.

The "Pray Away the Gay" never works. It is just a cop out for the parents. Professional counseling for all of them was in order IMO.

He wasn't gay

She isn't gay if you accept her as a she, if you are seeing her as a him then he was gay.

Scroll through her tumblr.

I read it. He referees to himself as he. He played gay to try to control his parents. He also clearly left out many details, looking for sympathy, as teens do.

If you read it then you know she was attracted to males as there were depictions showing that.

 

[Michelle420]

So sad that her parents didn't accept her and she felt so isolated.

I wish she has reached out to others.

Does it say in the article that his parents didn't accept him?

His suicide note details his parents refusal to accept him as a girl, and the efforts they went through to force him to be a boy.

His parents should have gotten him psychiatric help and recognized what this need to control could lead to.

They took him to Christian counselors who also tried to make him be a boy.

The "Pray Away the Gay" never works. It is just a cop out for the parents. Professional counseling for all of them was in order IMO.

Now we have another thread that says spirituality cures mental illness.

I do believe in prayer and that spirituality can help those who are mental dis-ease.

The problem is others deciding for you, you have to come to your own awareness that you need to work on yourself as in an alcoholic, others can't make you stay sober.

When others are deciding for you, they are judging you.

 

[R.D.]

His suicide note details his parents refusal to accept him as a girl, and the efforts they went through to force him to be a boy.



They took him to Christian counselors who also tried to make him be a boy.

The "Pray Away the Gay" never works. It is just a cop out for the parents. Professional counseling for all of them was in order IMO.

He wasn't gay

She isn't gay if you accept her as a she, if you are seeing her as a him then he was gay.

Scroll through her tumblr.

I read it. He referees to himself as he. He played gay to try to control his parents. He also clearly left out many details, looking for sympathy, as teens do.

If you read it then you know she was attracted to males as there were depictions showing that.

Right, and?

His parents trying to figure out with him only pissed him off. He was attracted to males= gay. But he didn't want to be gay, he wanted to be a woman. His parents are not to be blamed for being confused by his confusing behavior.

 

[Manonthestreet]

It does......it means" you chose poorly"

 

[Michelle420]

The "Pray Away the Gay" never works. It is just a cop out for the parents. Professional counseling for all of them was in order IMO.

He wasn't gay

She isn't gay if you accept her as a she, if you are seeing her as a him then he was gay.

Scroll through her tumblr.

I read it. He referees to himself as he. He played gay to try to control his parents. He also clearly left out many details, looking for sympathy, as teens do.

If you read it then you know she was attracted to males as there were depictions showing that.

Right, and?

His parents trying to figure out with him only pissed him off. He was attracted to males= gay. But he didn't want to be gay, he wanted to be a woman. His parents are not to be blamed for being confused by his confusing behavior.

Well she was a teen and that is how she felt. Obviously, the whole thing is tragic for the family.

I don't know what more you want to say. You don't agree with the kid you've said it alot of times now.

So I guess that's your point.

I feel bad for all concerned and that's mine.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

First of all why does the article repeatedly say "she/her"??
He was a boy. Not a girl. He might have wanted to be a girl, but that doesn't make him one. There is idealism for you, supplant facts with wishful thinking.
We might someday recognize transgender people as a sort of "sex" of their own. You can't classify a male human as a female human because a 14 year old thinks he wants to be one. He was gay, and was clearly one of the feminine gays.
This whole asinine stupidity that if someone wishes something, it makes it so.
Dumb. Really dumb and contributes to this kind of outcome.
This poor childs suicide was most likely attributed to other mental health issues unrelated to his "transgender" feelings. He might have identified it as the leading cause, but it likely was not.

 

[emilynghiem]

From the mixed responses here
it is even more disturbing to be reminded
that as many people do not understand
(A) what it means for a spirit/personality of one gender to be born in the body of the opposite gender.
that this is a spiritual condition, and yes it has as much to do with the child as with the parent
and what they are meant to learn in life from facing such an adverse situation
(B) that in some cases, people ARE spiritually or mentally sick with "demonic obsessions"
and there ARE cases where this is NOT natural for that person, but truly SICK.

BOTH cases can happen and have nothing to do with each other!

So sad that the mother and many people here only understand (B) type cases
and consider this mental illness or demonic/sick delusion or obsession that is unnatural and unhealthy

while the person afflicted in this case
appears to be of type (A) and was misunderstood both by parents and half of society.

This is why these cases happen - we are meant to learn the difference
and quit projecting conditions and expectations from A and B on the wrong cases!

yes, there are SICK people out there who kill themselves wanting to change because
they know this isn't natural for them but unwelcome.

And yes there are people who are spiritually BORN cross-gender
as part of their spiritual process. And whether they go through heaven or hell on earth
depends on how we treat them and work with the situation they are given to face.

 

[emilynghiem]

First of all why does the article repeatedly say "she/her"??
He was a boy. Not a girl. He might have wanted to be a girl, but that doesn't make him one. There is idealism for you, supplant facts with wishful thinking.
We might someday recognize transgender people as a sort of "sex" of their own. You can't classify a male human as a female human because a 14 year old thinks he wants to be one. He was gay, and was clearly one of the feminine gays.
This whole asinine stupidity that if someone wishes something, it makes it so.
Dumb. Really dumb and contributes to this kind of outcome.
This poor childs suicide was most likely attributed to other mental health issues unrelated to his "transgender" feelings. He might have identified it as the leading cause, but it likely was not.

You can be a girl inside and identify as female.
And be physically and legally a male or boy.

I'm teased for being a white person in an Asian body.
But the way I drive and park, there's no mistaking that part!

You can have both going on.
One thing I do admire about Obama is that he did try to face his own demons
of self-hatred, for being biracial, and has tried to balance and make the most of the mixed cultural heritage he carries.
I respect the fact that he went through and is still going through this struggle to be BOTH,
though I disagree with the results of what he supports, and wish he'd focus on microlending and other
solutions that could be more unifying.

My point is you can have both going on, spiritually or internally be one personality or culture or bias
and physically have the other dominant trait or culture/bias represented in society.

You would really have to let go and forgive these conflicts
to be able to live with this going on, or you'd be crazy and have mood swings up and down
trying to deal with society and mixed feelings of not fitting in. Totally sympathize
and sorry people resort to drugs, suicide or homicide to express their frustration and loss of hope and heart.

A loss to one is a loss to all, and anyone we can help uplift
to bring out their better side and gifts and talents they have to share, regardless of the FU faults
we find ourselves facing regardless of how much came from where,
the better off we all are for society and humanity sake.

We do need to "fix society" but there is equal fault with everyone
and you cannot just blame the parents for their rejection, because they also
have points and arguments that are being equally missed and "rejected" that could help solve this problem!

The rejection that led to this is mutual, and will take people on both sides to open up
embrace and listen to each other, in order to resolve the bigger issues.

Like Romeo and Juliet, you cannot just blame one house and hold the other guiltless.

 

[HenryBHough]

So sad to see one who would have been a sure-thing for a future Democrat presidential candidacy exit so soon.

 

[Katzndogz]

The entire world is not subject to an individual's inner conflict.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

at least this mental midget as the decency not to take innocents with him.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

From the mixed responses here
it is even more disturbing to be reminded
that as many people do not understand
(A) what it means for a spirit/personality of one gender to be born in the body of the opposite gender.
that this is a spiritual condition, and yes it has as much to do with the child as with the parent
and what they are meant to learn in life from facing such an adverse situation
(B) that in some cases, people ARE spiritually or mentally sick with "demonic obsessions"
and there ARE cases where this is NOT natural for that person, but truly SICK.

BOTH cases can happen and have nothing to do with each other!

So sad that the mother and many people here only understand (B) type cases
and consider this mental illness or demonic/sick delusion or obsession that is unnatural and unhealthy

while the person afflicted in this case
appears to be of type (A) and was misunderstood both by parents and half of society.

This is why these cases happen - we are meant to learn the difference
and quit projecting conditions and expectations from A and B on the wrong cases!

yes, there are SICK people out there who kill themselves wanting to change because
they know this isn't natural for them but unwelcome.

And yes there are people who are spiritually BORN cross-gender
as part of their spiritual process. And whether they go through heaven or hell on earth
depends on how we treat them and work with the situation they are given to face.

I understand where you are coming from, but at the same time - we should be careful not to over complicate issues and even more so - stop this insane sexualizing small children and filling their heads with things they are nowhere near ready to comprehend.
Being a teenager itself is complicated enough, add to that being a gay teenager? So not only do you have to figure out who you are, who you want to be, what do you believe in - not believe in etc. etc. etc. - but to also have to deal with trying to identify your sexuality?? Enormous burden for such a young age. I have nephew who is gay, it was quite painful to see this kid go through the phases of this. First comes denial, then SELF HATRED, then reluctant acceptance, then full acceptance.
Now we want to add ANOTHER layer to these confused kids?????? OH - you might be more f*cked up then you realize - you might really be a girl!! Now go be happy!!
Are we really this stupid? This thoughtless?
Like all "birth defects" - true transgender is RARE - extremely rare. So rare that it really should not enter into mainstream thinking. All that is going to do is further the confusion of childhood.
This kid? Was in all probability - NOT a transgender. But obviously gay, and highly likely to be a feminine gay. And in the middle of all that confusion, and apparent mental health issues - hears about trangenderhood and believes "hey that's me!!" - when only desperately trying to fit in somewhere, not yet realizing that he already "fit in" - he was gay. Like a lot of others just like him.

 

[Brain357]

You can read his/her suicide note here: satan s wifey

(S)he also left notes of apology. The one to his parents reads thusly:

Mom and Dad: **** you. You can’t just control other people like that. That’s messed up.

If he wanted to hurt his parents, he did a helluva job. That's a mean note to go out on. And the job of parents is exactly about control their children to prepare them for the world. They might have been misguided and uninformed on how to handle a kid like this one, but they certainly don't deserve a vicious last word like that.


His/her suicide note sounds very self-centered. I understand the difficulties such a person must go through, but he was still a child and a child should not be finalizing any decisions as important as a sex change. We don't allow kids to drink or smoke or vote or do any number of things for good reason. A sex change is an even bigger decision making process than any of those.

I am not unsympathetic to this kid. One of my own kids had a friend sleepover once. A girl who was actually a boy. In first grade! This kid wanted to be a girl, grew out his/her hair like a girl and because the child was so young, he was easily able to pass as a girl. My kids never caught on. I would not have caught on either if the grandfather had not told me.

I don't know what the full situation was, but the kid was living with his/her grandfather instead of the parents. I don't know the story behind that.

We were in an extremely awkward situation when the kid arrived. He/she was filthy. His/her clothes were filthy and the kid was covered from head to foot in dirt and grime. This was neglect.

We made the very risky decision to give the kid a bath. I had my wife do it. There was no way I was going to do it, but there was also no way I was not going to take care of this kid, either.

The clothes were so ragged and filthy, we threw them out and gave the kid a new set of clothes.

We informed the grandfather the next day when he picked the kid up, and he just nodded.

God only knows what kind of nightmare world that child is living in.

So I understand how someone like that can have their whole world view narrowed down to a tiny pinpoint of self-centered misery and an attitude of their being no way out.

But there is a way out. The kid who killed himself just didn't make it that far. This is a very very sad story through and through.

"The kid who killed himself just didn't make it that far."

Most of us never have to face the fear and confusion this girl did. Most of us cannot imagine what it would be like to know we are female and yet have the world continue to call us a male. Even after her death, there are people who will not accept that she was female. How any young person can be strong enough to get through that dark tunnel is beyond my understanding.

Transgender people must be among the bravest people in the world.

Whether you are a man or a woman is physical and easily determined.

 

[emilynghiem]

The entire world is not subject to an individual's inner conflict.

But resolving it can change the whole world for the better.

The same struggle any one of our souls suffers through,
collectively that is the story of humanity. We struggle
for truth, justice and peace, freedom from fear and unresolved
conflict that otherwise repeats in a vicious cycle.

We learn to quit projecting blame outside of ourselves
and recognize the effort and work it takes is mutual.
Both sides to any conflict have to stretch to include the other
if we are going to put all the pieces of the puzzle together to solve it.

When we cut out one person or one group, we shoot ourselves in the foot.
Eventually we learn that each one has something to contribute we'd be missing otherwise!

None of us is perfect or complete without the other.
We all need to check and balance each other
to correct all the faults and cover all the bases.

We are like an orchestra, and need to learn to play in
harmony, tune and balance, instead of competing to kick out or blast out others
who are part of the same symphony. We each have a part to play
and are learning to pull it all together, so we can complete the score.

 

[emilynghiem]

From the mixed responses here
it is even more disturbing to be reminded
that as many people do not understand
(A) what it means for a spirit/personality of one gender to be born in the body of the opposite gender.
that this is a spiritual condition, and yes it has as much to do with the child as with the parent
and what they are meant to learn in life from facing such an adverse situation
(B) that in some cases, people ARE spiritually or mentally sick with "demonic obsessions"
and there ARE cases where this is NOT natural for that person, but truly SICK.

BOTH cases can happen and have nothing to do with each other!

So sad that the mother and many people here only understand (B) type cases
and consider this mental illness or demonic/sick delusion or obsession that is unnatural and unhealthy

while the person afflicted in this case
appears to be of type (A) and was misunderstood both by parents and half of society.

This is why these cases happen - we are meant to learn the difference
and quit projecting conditions and expectations from A and B on the wrong cases!

yes, there are SICK people out there who kill themselves wanting to change because
they know this isn't natural for them but unwelcome.

And yes there are people who are spiritually BORN cross-gender
as part of their spiritual process. And whether they go through heaven or hell on earth
depends on how we treat them and work with the situation they are given to face.

I understand where you are coming from, but at the same time - we should be careful not to over complicate issues and even more so - stop this insane sexualizing small children and filling their heads with things they are nowhere near ready to comprehend.
Being a teenager itself is complicated enough, add to that being a gay teenager? So not only do you have to figure out who you are, who you want to be, what do you believe in - not believe in etc. etc. etc. - but to also have to deal with trying to identify your sexuality?? Enormous burden for such a young age. I have nephew who is gay, it was quite painful to see this kid go through the phases of this. First comes denial, then SELF HATRED, then reluctant acceptance, then full acceptance.
Now we want to add ANOTHER layer to these confused kids?????? OH - you might be more f*cked up then you realize - you might really be a girl!! Now go be happy!!
Are we really this stupid? This thoughtless?
Like all "birth defects" - true transgender is RARE - extremely rare. So rare that it really should not enter into mainstream thinking. All that is going to do is further the confusion of childhood.
This kid? Was in all probability - NOT a transgender. But obviously gay, and highly likely to be a feminine gay. And in the middle of all that confusion, and apparent mental health issues - hears about trangenderhood and believes "hey that's me!!" - when only desperately trying to fit in somewhere, not yet realizing that he already "fit in" - he was gay. Like a lot of others just like him.

I totally agree we should not be sexualizing, politicizing or promoting this with propaganda.
Adults are confused enough, without dragging kids into these messes!

 

[Brain357]

He should have been happy he was healthy. Many don't even have that benefit. He should have also been happy of who he was. He was not, nor never would be a woman. It seems insulting to women to suggest it's just a mental state. This boy was never going to become pregnant.

 

[Katzndogz]

The entire world is not subject to an individual's inner conflict.

But resolving it can change the whole world for the better.

The same struggle any one of our souls suffers through,
collectively that is the story of humanity. We struggle
for truth, justice and peace, freedom from fear and unresolved
conflict that otherwise repeats in a vicious cycle.

We learn to quit projecting blame outside of ourselves
and recognize the effort and work it takes is mutual.
Both sides to any conflict have to stretch to include the other
if we are going to put all the pieces of the puzzle together to solve it.

When we cut out one person or one group, we shoot ourselves in the foot.
Eventually we learn that each one has something to contribute we'd be missing otherwise!

None of us is perfect or complete without the other.
We all need to check and balance each other
to correct all the faults and cover all the bases.

We are like an orchestra, and need to learn to play in
harmony, tune and balance, instead of competing to kick out or blast out others
who are part of the same symphony. We each have a part to play
and are learning to pull it all together, so we can complete the score.

There never was two sides to this poor child's inner conflict. It was entirely self imposed..

When you have an orchestra playing Bach and one musician decides to play Shake it Up the result is never going to be anything like music.