Please stop telling me, "We made a law that you have to do THIS" as though it means something. The discussion is about what SHOULD be, and what's right and wrong. The only people who think the law dictates morality are those who are incapable of finding morality for themselves. And don't even get me started on "This is moral, because we said so."
Circular logic isn't really logic at all. Someone should have told you.
Every single one of your "conundrums" is an easy, obvious answer . . . except not to you. I find that very revealing.
Our laws are for all people not just for one church or book. Churches do not dictate to the nation what is or not a crime. You do not have a right to reject people from your business or service because of what they are. Hate crimes are not acceptable. We accept all people from all places and faiths.
If accepting people who are gay is such a problem for you, you have the right to leave. You do not have a right to insult or threaten them in this life or the next. It is not your place to decide what is a sin. If god wants to judge, let it be god's decision, not yours.
All people of race, gender, religion, etc. are equal and have the same rights. Hate speech is not a right, it is a crime. Hate speech is not free speech. We have a responsibility for what we say. Doing harm against others is not right, verbally or physically.
Gays are not sinners and you trying to say they are is abusive and criminal.
If you cannot tolerate them you are the bigot. If you can't live in the same world with them find a place where there are no gays. It probably won't have christians either. See how far your free speech and condemning other people as sinners flies there. If you don't hold your tongue, you might loose your head.
Love from god should be unconditional, otherwise he/it is not a just god. Gays are the way god made them and to pretend otherwise would be a lie, which is also a sin in your book.
The only sin is the hate of bigots that can't find the love in their heart to accept all people for who and what they are.