Time To Mind The Boys

[Annie]

I like boys in my classes, I like their energy. Then again, I went into teaching when my boys were already 12 and 14. I knew what middle school boys were like. I'm glad some are beginning to notice. There are links at site:

http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2006/01/boys-are-just-defective-girls.html

Boys are Just "Defective Girls"
Newsweek has an article this week on the boy crisis, which examines how boys are failing in school. Boys are not only doing poorly, they feel poorly about school: The number of boys who said they didn't like school rose 71 percent between 1980 and 2001. I found the last paragraph of the article the most important:

For Nikolas Arnold, 15, a sophomore at a public high school in Santa Monica, Calif., college is a distant dream. Nikolas is smart: he's got an encyclopedic knowledge of weaponry and war. When he was in first grade, his principal told his mother he was too immature and needed ADHD drugs. His mother balked. "Too immature?" says Diane Arnold, a widow. "He was six and a half!" He's always been an advanced reader, but his grades are erratic. Last semester, when his English teacher assigned two girls' favorites—"Memoirs of a Geisha" and "The Secret Life of Bees" Nikolas got a D. But lately, he has a math teacher he likes and is getting excited about numbers. He's reserved in class sometimes. But now that he's more engaged, his grades are improving slightly and his mother, who's pushing college, is hopeful he will begin to hit his stride. Girls get A's and B's on their report cards, she tells him, but that doesn't mean boys can't do it, too.​

Doesn't this last line sound just like what we used to tell girls over twenty years ago? "Girls can be as good as boys", we drilled into kid's heads in the 1970's and 80's--in fact, girls were told that they were better and most of them now believe it (or at least fake it). Are we so angry that girls got the shaft twenty or more years ago that we are willing to sacrifice the education of innocent young boys today to make up for that wrong?

Update: Michal Gurian, who is mentioned in the Newsweek article is the author of, The Minds of Boys : Saving Our Sons From Falling Behind in School and Life.He will be joining us for a podcast next week on the topic of the disconnect between boys and the classroom. If you have a pressing question for Mr. Gurian, leave it in the comment section and I will choose a couple to ask him--thanks!

 

[Nienna]

Kathianne, I have to agree. Boys are put down in every area of our culture, from the prime time boobs on TV who are oh-so adolescent compared to their smart, sassy wives--- to the push to put women in corporate management just so a company can prove how "open-minded" it is.

Two books:
1) Bringing up Boys, by right wing-nut neoNazi Dr. James Dobson. I have this book, and I think it's an excellent view into the plight of boys.
2) The War Against Boys, by Christina Hoff Sommers. This is on my "To-Read" list.

The new trends in schools don't help, either, like taking away recess to get in more class time. Good Heavens! How is a little guy supposed to sit still that long? The girls probably have trouble, too, but I think it would be even worse for boys.

 

[Hobbit]

As a boy, I have some stuff to add to this.

1. Boys are fundamentally different - Feminists have spent so long saying that there was really no difference between girls and boys (except that boys are all rapists) and getting things accomadated to fit girls that boys have been left in the dust. I mean, look at high school reading lists and you'll see. There's a lot of great literature out there that gets quashed by the faculty in favor of girls' books like "Jane Eyre." (I hate that f-ing book. I made a 97 in English, but a C on that unit) Boys like different stuff than girls. Boys want to read about violence and war and comraderie. However, violence is the ultimate evil in schools (unless it's one way only i.e. bullies), so instead, we get to read books about preppy girls backstabbing each other so they can see land the rich guy as a husband. Yeah, that's so much better than books about brave men who risk their lives for their country.

2. Boys are violent, and that's not a bad thing - God (or evolution, if you prefer) designed boys for violence. Boys are built to fight in wars and do manual labor. Girls are designed to raise the kids and watch the house while the boys are gone to war or in the field. That being said, they resolve their differences differently. Boys push, shove, and wrestle, proving who is the better fighter. At the end of this row, boys usually shake hands and, when they get older, buy each other a beer. They've gotten the testosterone appeased, so now they're friends again. However, this is the ultimate evil in so much of our society, especially the hippy run schools. That being the case, boys are forced to resolve their differences with petty taunts, and without appeasing the testosterone, this leads many to bullying. On the other hand, the fact that girls are known to solve their differences by spreading such vile rumors about their enemies that the target is forced to switch schools goes unnoticed. "After all," say the administrators, "words never hurt anybody." Say that to the slander and libel statutes.

3. Boys have energy - As stated above, boys are designed for war and manual labor, and a body like that doesn't benefit from sitting still for long periods of time. Girls are designed for housework and raising kids, and can sit still for an hour and read at age 8. Boys, on the other hand, need something more hands-on. And recess is a vital necessity for boys. Many teachers don't really want to work, so they have their kids sit still and do busy work for hours at a time. The girls, when they get bored, can get by with subtle note-passing. The boys, on the other hand, build up so much energy that they explode...and get sent to the office.

All told, the education system now is set up for boys to fail. Everything favors girls and their mentality. This is the product of feminaziism. My solution is one that would be jumped on by those closet lesbians in a heartbeat. Seperate children by gender. That's right, make EVERY school either an all boys or all girls school. That way, the curriculum can be made to fit the needs of the gender, plus the added distraction of "coodies" and later sexual tension during class is gone.

 

[dmp]

Boys are put down in every area of our culture, from the prime time boobs on TV who are oh-so adolescent compared to their smart, sassy wives--- to the push to put women in corporate management just so a company can prove how "open-minded" it is.

You and I are often of ONE mind, girl. Excellent.

 

[Mr. P]

... This is the product of feminaziism. ....

As well as many more ills of our current society.

Sorry girls, but without feminism:

Divorce would be halved
Dead bet dads would be history (for the most part)
You wouldn't have a migraine after "bringin home the bacon", and still have the energy to "fry it up in a pan"
Family finance would not result in so may bankruptcies
There would be 0 or near 0 "latch key" kids
Day care wouldn't be a concern, really
Families would eat meals together, and at a decent time of night

The list is endless....

 

[misterblu]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to mom4 again.

 

[Nienna]

As well as many more ills of our current society.

Sorry girls, but without feminism:

Divorce would be halved
Dead bet dads would be history (for the most part)
You wouldn't have a migraine after "bringin home the bacon", and still have the energy to "fry it up in a pan"
Family finance would not result in so may bankruptcies
There would be 0 or near 0 "latch key" kids
Day care wouldn't be a concern, really
Families would eat meals together, and at a decent time of night

The list is endless....

Don't be sorry... Many of us girls are sorry that feminism was pushed to this extreme.

 

[Nienna]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to mom4 again.

It's the thought that counts! Thanks!

 

[Annie]

Ok, men! Maybe I'm being oversensitive here, but on two threads at least, we are hearing all about 'the feminists' and what they've done. As someone who was around when the 'equal rights amendment' was being bandied about; as someone who did read Betty Friedan's, "Feminine Mystique" and dismissed it, as it was more appropriate to my mother's generation, who btw also rejected it; as someone who read Maribel Morgan's "Total Woman" and dismissed that too; I just haven't known all that many 'feminists' outside of college campus professors.

Where is it that you are running into them all the time, so much so that you sound like you hate women?

Ok, rant over. As for the schools, truth to tell, boys have always been labeled 'overactive', 'distractable', hyperactive', 'off task', 'incorrigible'. It's usually been wrong, but somehow boys managed to overcome it nevertheless, and usually whip the female's test scores, especially in math and science.

What's new now? Ritalin? Wellbutrin? The way parents are raising kids?

 

[KarlMarx]

Ok, men! Maybe I'm being oversensitive here, but on two threads at least, we are hearing all about 'the feminists' and what they've done. As someone who was around when the 'equal rights amendment' was being bandied about; as someone who did read Betty Friedan's, "Feminine Mystique" and dismissed it, as it was more appropriate to my mother's generation, who btw also rejected it; as someone who read Maribel Morgan's "Total Woman" and dismissed that too; I just haven't known all that many 'feminists' outside of college campus professors.

Where is it that you are running into them all the time, so much so that you sound like you hate women?

The problem is Kathianne, that those feminists are teaching women and men on our college campuses and they are indirectly molding public policy and cultural attitudes. Teachers are the most influential people in young people's lives after their parents.

The fact is, that women are being promoted and hired at different rates than men in order to make up for the sins of the past. I see that happening where I work.

The so called "glass ceiling" does not exist. Women who are childless and single make just as much money, if not more than men with equal time and qualifications on the job. The myth that women make 69% of men is not true. Many women take maternity leave when they have children, thus their careers take a back seat. No amount of social engineering, hiring and promotion quotas is going to change the basic fact of life that women have the children.

Women make up more than half of the population on campuses today, they also make up almost 60% of college graduates.

Yet, public policy seems to ignore all of this. Instead, women are treated as if they are still being sold as slaves in the street. Our culture has embraced and accepted the "men are rotten" mindset... take films like "Thelma and Louise" and "Sleeping With the Enemy" as two examples. Men and fathers are often portrayed on TV and in movies as being somewhat simple minded, dumb or worse.

And I've spoken at length on the divorce problem in this country. So I won't go there.

Abortion is another area where the "poor, oppressed" woman myth is foisted on the public as truth. The fact is that many women have abortions for convenience, not because they are being forced to have children like baby machines.

Girls are becoming more violent, more promiscuous and committing more crimes that at any time in our history.

Over the past several decades, billions, if not trillions of dollars of wealth has been transferred out of the hands of men into those of women. Much of it was due to policies that favored women. In fact, women control a large part of the wealth in this country, by 2010, women are expected to control 60% of the wealth in this country. If the trends of the past 40 years continue that will mean that men and boys will continue to fall behindand eventually men will be 2nd class citizens in this nation.

If we are supposed to have a society where people are treated equally, then society has to stop buying into the gender politics of these maniacs.

 

[Annie]

The problem is Kathianne, that those feminists are teaching women and men on our college campuses and they are indirectly molding public policy and cultural attitudes. Teachers are the most influential people in young people's lives after their parents.

The fact is, that women are being promoted and hired at different rates than men in order to make up for the sins of the past. I see that happening where I work.

The so called "glass ceiling" does not exist. Women who are childless and single make just as much money, if not more than men with equal time and qualifications on the job. The myth that women make 69% of men is not true. Many women take maternity leave when they have children, thus their careers take a back seat. No amount of social engineering, hiring and promotion quotas is going to change the basic fact of life that women have the children.

Women make up more than half of the population on campuses today, they also make up almost 60% of college graduates.

Yet, public policy seems to ignore all of this. Instead, women are treated as if they are still being sold as slaves in the street. Our culture has embraced and accepted the "men are rotten" mindset... take films like "Thelma and Louise" and "Sleeping With the Enemy" as two examples. Men and fathers are often portrayed on TV and in movies as being somewhat simple minded, dumb or worse.

And I've spoken at length on the divorce problem in this country. So I won't go there.

Abortion is another area where the "poor, oppressed" woman myth is foisted on the public as truth. The fact is that many women have abortions for convenience, not because they are being forced to have children like baby machines.

Girls are becoming more violent, more promiscuous and committing more crimes that at any time in our history.

Over the past several decades, billions, if not trillions of dollars of wealth has been transferred out of the hands of men into those of women. Much of it was due to policies that favored women. In fact, women control a large part of the wealth in this country, by 2010, women are expected to control 60% of the wealth in this country. If the trends of the past 40 years continue that will mean that men and boys will continue to fall behindand eventually men will be 2nd class citizens in a nation.

If we are supposed to have a society where people are treated equally, then society has to stop buying into the gender politics of these maniacs.

I hear what you are saying and really agree, it's the Nexus of what is going on in the schools! At the same time, where are the 'women' that are buying into such? Do you date them? Are they your wives, daughters, girlfriends? No! Wake up! It's the PC police at the workplace and in the schools.

 

[KarlMarx]

I hear what you are saying and really agree, it's the Nexus of what is going on in the schools! At the same time, where are the 'women' that are buying into such? Do you date them? Are they your wives, daughters, girlfriends? No! Wake up! It's the PC police at the workplace and in the schools.

Yes, the PC police are running the show where we work, in our schools and in our government, they aren't just a bunch of harmless nut jobs, they are making policies and shaping the culture. In spite of the fact they make up a small minority of women, they are influential.

 

[Annie]

Yes, the PC police are running the show where we work, in our schools and in our government, they aren't just a bunch of harmless nut jobs, they are making policies and shaping the culture. In spite of the fact they make up a small minority of women, they are influential.

So fight back. BTW, the ERA failed, big time!

 

[Kagom]

Some of this reminds me of a couple of my experiences.

When we did a book that was a favorite with girls, the guys did poorly on tests about it than girls did (The book was A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks).

I've seen a case or two of sexism in my school too (referring back to the same class) where a girl did do better than a few of the guys, but her speech was 16 minutes long (13 minutes over the limit) and it was horribly prepared as well as read word-for-word off her paper. She got a C, most of the guys got a D. I failed. *shrugs*

But guys need to be more engaged, it's why we're rowdier and more out of control.

 

[Abbey Normal]

IMO, the Feminist movement is much like the Unions. Both were started to gain power for a group that had little or none, and then got carried away.

 

[Annie]

Some of this reminds me of a couple of my experiences.

When we did a book that was a favorite with girls, the guys did poorly on tests about it than girls did (The book was A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks).

I've seen a case or two of sexism in my school too (referring back to the same class) where a girl did do better than a few of the guys, but her speech was 16 minutes long (13 minutes over the limit) and it was horribly prepared as well as read word-for-word off her paper. She got a C, most of the guys got a D. I failed. *shrugs*

But guys need to be more engaged, it's why we're rowdier and more out of control.

I agree. If I do 'boy' books, the girls will 'come on board', but if I do 'chick books', (such a term doesn't exist) the boys are forever disengaged. I don't think that means that girls are malleable, rather that most 'guy' things, girls can relate to. On the other hand, the 'girl things' are more than Greek to most guys.

 

[Abbey Normal]

I agree. If I do 'boy' books, the girls will 'come on board', but if I do 'chick books', (such a term doesn't exist) the boys are forever disengaged. I don't think that means that girls are malleable, rather that most 'guy' things, girls can relate to. On the other hand, the 'girl things' are more than Greek to most guys.

You see the same phenonemon happen with seeing guy/chick films.

 

[Kagom]

I agree. If I do 'boy' books, the girls will 'come on board', but if I do 'chick books', (such a term doesn't exist) the boys are forever disengaged. I don't think that means that girls are malleable, rather that most 'guy' things, girls can relate to. On the other hand, the 'girl things' are more than Greek to most guys.

I could handle a "chick book" like Memoirs of a Geisha because I'm interested in the culture and story, but most "chick books" hold no appeal simply because they don't aim at my thought processes or those of other guys for that matter.

 

[Annie]

I could handle a "chick book" like Memoirs of a Geisha because I'm interested in the culture and story, but most "chick books" hold no appeal simply because they don't aim at my thought processes or those of other guys for that matter.

You prove my point! Even 'guy gays' can't relate to the 'chick books.' (btw, that wasn't a put down, if any 'guy' would be expected to relate it would be a professed gay.)

 

[Nienna]

Another trend that's got me worried is the all-day-every-day kindergarten. I was lucky, bc my boys were born in Aug & Sep. They are (will be) some of the oldest kids in their classes. Even so, my 6 yo comes home exhausted after a full day of school. I'm glad he has the day off in between to relax, run around, etc. But, my MIL (who is on the school board) told me that by the time my 4 yo is ready for school, it will be mandatory all-day-every-day. This is, of course lauded by parents who work; they will spend less on day care. My older son's teacher often mentions that she wishes she could have the kids every day. The slower learners DO go every day. I am seriously considering homeschooling for kindergarten if they go to every day. In his book Bringing Up Boys, Dr. Dobson mentions studies which show that kids from a homeschool setting tend to catch up very quickly when put into school, and even become leaders in the class.

I know some people advocate putting kids to school at younger and younger ages, even mandatory preschool, but I say they need the time at home, where they can move around. I give my kids "lessons" in the summer to keep them going with schoolwork, and to cover subjects that are not covered in class. These lessons generally take about 10 minutes, 2 or 3 times a day. This is the format I used to preschool my kids, and they have all been at the tops of their classes from the time they entered school. Kids can learn a lot by giving them information, then letting them free to play for awhile. It's like that free time allows them to digest the info, whereas, if you keep them immobile, all they do is squirm and think about when they will be set free. Especially at younger ages.