Thief Club (Toronto)*


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Sep 22, 2013
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Here's a fun anti-terrorism patriotic heist-story about three eccentric bank robbers looking to nab diamonds owned by a wealthy Saudi prince in Toronto with some questionable modern-day ditch ties! Thanks for reading (and happy holidays),


Toronto was the home to the Thief Club (TC) which was comprised now of only three members, three master-thieves. One, Isaac, hailed from Algeria. The other, Chris, hailed from San Francisco (USA). The third, Devon, hailed from France. The TC (Thief Club) wanted to travel to Canada to orchestrate a diamond-heist of the Toronto-Dominion (TD) Bank. The city was theirs!


ISAAC: I want to watch one Blue Jays baseball game before we flee Canada.
CHRIS: We'll go there after we safely deposit our diamond-money in our new Swiss account.
DEVON: You're planning recreational activities even before we've robbed the bank?
ISAAC: What's baseball worth now?


ISAAC: "I'm from Algeria, and I've lived in Canada and New England on-and-off for over 10 years, and I'm psyched."


CHRIS: "I'm from San Francisco, and this heist is really about the roads to Wellville."


DEVON: "I just want these Toronto diamonds...and I'm off to the Virgin Islands...faraway from France."


The Toronto-Dominion Bank (TD-Bank) is really cool. You have to see this building. The interior and structure and lighting are all marvels. This is a diamond-heist worth the storytelling. This is a real bank. Toronto is such a great city.


ISAAC: We'll take the labyrinthine Toronto metro to get to and from the bank on heist-day.
CHRIS: We'll carry the stolen diamonds in the inner-seams, sown and lined, in our jackets.
DEVON: We need some kind of urban distraction!


This was the urban distraction Devon requested. The TC (Thief Club) in Toronto would walk into the Toronto-Dominion Bank (TD-Bank) on heist-day carrying toy-guns inserted with an inner-protective glass tubing filled with corrosive HCL acid. The masked bank robbers would claim they were terrorists doing a demo of chemical weapons, displaying the acid potency of their guns by shooting them at the floor after disarming the guards. This was a chemical weapons demo, not a bank robbery, and the alarm-buttons would be useless, since Chris, an electrical engineer, had scrambled all circuits 20 minutes prior to entering the TD-Bank.


ISAAC: I've got the diamonds from the Saudi prince's safe-box #445.
CHRIS: Great, now let's each take one portion of the $20 million diamonds and hide them in our jacket-seams.
DEVON: Let's tell the bank crowd now that we'll be taking Saudi diamonds and returning with terrorists!
ISAAC: Yes, then all bank people will simply be sitting quietly and in fear while we jump onto the metro to escape.


Toronto Police Detective (TPD) Jamie Gertz was tracking the TC (Thief Club), suspecting their leader Isaac, who was already a suspect in some Boston bank robberies in New England, would be planning a diamond-heist of the Saudi prince's safe-box in Toronto after the news reported the prince's holdings on national TV in Canada. Officer Gerz was determined to nab Isaac, especially after receiving a mobile phone distress call from the bank indicating terrorists had entered wielding 'acid-guns' for their invasion.


TORONTO POLICE: "We'll not tolerate any terrorist theatrics in this fair city, home to our beloved Blue Jays."


Donald Trump, Rumpelstiltskin of the USA and President and capitalism-baron, was in Toronto too and had a bank account with TD-Bank and knew the Saudi prince who deposited the $million diamonds in the bank vault. Trump made society alliances with various Middle Eastern capitalists and investors, seeking to expand zones of comfort between Saudi Arabia and North America. The TC (Thief Club) didn't care and were prepared to stage more 'terrorism theatrics' with their acid-guns, should Trump decide to visit the bank that day to do a media thing about he Saudi prince's diamonds.


DONALD TUMP: "Toronto is such a haven, and I refuse to let the prince think North America is unsafe due to magicians!"


After the TC (Thief Club) escaped Toronto with the Saudi prince's stolen diamonds from TD-Bank, TPD Officer Gertz decided to make a continental manhunt with the FBI for these master-thieves. Alas, the bank robbers had fled to the Virgin Islands together, after sending the popular Post the following notice, "We took the Saudi prince's diamonds for sure, so be wary of new age chemical and terrorism weaponry that will beckon right at your diary door!"


"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)


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