The Rise of Lonely, Single Men

[Blues Man]

A real man doesn’t need a dictionary to know what it means to be a man. A little boy might need to think that way.

So you can't back up your by definition" comment.

Got it

The fact is there are lots of people who shouldn't have kids and we have the proof in society to back that claim up.

 

[Unkotare]

So you can't back up your by definition" comment.
...

A real, adult man doesn't need such things explained. The OP has been proven by some posts here.


Pathetic.

 

[expat_panama]

A man who decides not to marry or have kids is no less of a man than someone who does.

--and there's another school of thought that considers that this is not healthy.

While a bunch of single unmarried men may be fine for a human race that dies after one generation, that a lasting human race is comprised of people who are able to be born, grow up, eat, poop, and reproduce.

All part of being complete.

 

[Vastator]

ounger and middle-aged men are the loneliest they’ve been in generations, and it’s probably going to get worse.

This is not my typical rosy view of relationships but a reality nonetheless. Over the last 30 years, men have become a larger portion of that growing group of long-term single people. And while you don’t actually need to be in a relationship to be happy, men typically are happier and healthier when partnered.


Here are three broad trends in the relationship landscape that suggest heterosexual men are in for a rough road ahead:

• Dating Apps. Whether you’re just starting to date or you’re recently divorced and dating again, dating apps are a huge driver of new romantic connections in the United States. The only problem is that upwards of 62% of users are men and many women are overwhelmed by the number of options they have. Competition in online dating is fierce, and lucky in-person chance encounters with dreamy partners are rarer than ever.
• Relationship Standards. With so many options, it’s not surprising that women are increasingly selective. I do a live TikTok show (@abetterloveproject) and speak with hundreds of audience members every week; I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45: They prefer men who are emotionally available, who are good communicators, and who share their values.
• Skills Deficits. For men, this means a relationship skills gap that, if not addressed, will likely lead to fewer dating opportunities and longer periods of being single. There's less patience for poor communication skills today. The problem for men is that emotional connection is the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love and it requires all the skills that families still are not consistently teaching young boys.

While there’s probably no chance of stemming the rising tide of unintentional single men, there is some good news.

The algorithms are becoming increasingly more complex on dating apps and other online platforms. One result is that great matches are on the rise. One dating app, Hinge, found through beta trials that 90% of users rated their first date positively, with 72% indicating that they wanted a second date.


How can men reap the benefit of the algorithms? Level up your mental health game. That means getting into some individual therapy to address your skills gap. It means valuing your own internal world and respecting your ideas enough to communicate them effectively. It means seeing intimacy, romance, and emotional connection as worthy of your time and effort.


Ultimately, we have an opportunity to revolutionize romantic relationships and establish new, healthier norms starting with the first date. It’s likely that some of these romances will be transformative and healing, disrupting generational trauma and establishing a fresh culture of admiration and validation.


Men have a key role in this transformation but only if they go all-in. It’s going to take that kind of commitment to themselves, to their mental health, and to the kind of love they want to generate in the world. Will we step up?

The Rise of Lonely, Single Men

Damn, talk about a snake-oil salesman.

It seems that the writer is making some rather broad assumptions that don't track with a lot of the data we have available to us. Such as men being alone equals loneliness. Men are by and large opting out of marriage these days. The reasons are legion, but amongst them are the risk to reward ratio. One of such rewards now no longer requires marriage. So men don't have to buy the cow because the "milk" has never been easier, and cheaper to get in all of human history.
Women's happiness on the otherhand has been plummeting steadily for decades, and is picking up steam. Women as a group almost single handedly keep the antidepressant market booming.

Why are men happier than women? (Published 2007)

www.nytimes.com

Why is depression more prevalent in women?

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Meanwhile most single men just carry on, make their wealth, and take advantage of whatever free pussy comes their way. The only ones striking out are those who exclusively use internet dating apps, which for men really only work if they happen to be very photogenic. In real life however most women are quite receptive to attention, and in fact crave it. In short women have never been more accessible, and by, and large you don't have to put a ring on it to take it for a test drive. So men are simply taking advantage of the options made available to them by women.

These days most of the younger guys I know, and talk to at the gym, the range, ect; are quite content to work on self, career, and financial security, and scoop up all the freebies that come their way. Little to no interest in marriage. And who can blame them? What's in it for them..?

 

[Vastator]

I mean, women have always chased after the bad boys. That's nothing new, but most of them eventually grow out of that phase.

Most tend to grow out of that phase quite literally, when those same bad boy types are now attracted to younger, prettier, models with fewer bodies on the vagometer.

 

[Blues Man]

A real, adult man doesn't need such things explained. The OP has been proven by some posts here.


Pathetic.

Yes you are pathetic.

No one has to have children if they don't want to.

 

[1srelluc]

I do believe that.

A man doesn't have to get married or have kids neither does a woman

I guess it fits for the "half-ass generation" as they don't seem to what much more than to squeak by in life, usually on someone else's dime.

Perhaps they will father a child they will never know much less nurture and be a general drag on society.....Oh but they will still want to have a say in everything and be able to vote for more of it.

Take heart though, in about 25 years the above will be your new normal....Have fun with all that....You are so fucked.

 

[Blues Man]

I guess it fits for the "half-ass generation" as they don't seem to what much more than to squeak by in life, usually on someone else's dime.

Perhaps they will father a child they will never know much less nurture and be a general drag on society.....Oh but they will still want to have a say in everything and be able to vote for more of it.

Take heart though, in about 25 years the above will be your new normal....Have fun with all that....You are so fucked.

So people who choose not to have kids are all just squeaking by on someone else's dime?

 

[1srelluc]

So people who choose not to have kids are all just squeaking by on someone else's dime?

Pretty much.....For fuck sakes you have 25 year-olds still on their parent's insurance.

Hell when I was 20 I owned my first house.....Well the bank did.....I had to come-up with 20% down too.

 

[Blues Man]

Pretty much.....For fuck sakes you have 25 year-olds still on their parent's insurance.

Hell when I was 20 I owned my first house.....Well the bank did.....I had to come-up with 20% down too.

Can you handle the weight of the really broad brush you are using?

I don't have kids and I bought my first rental property when I was 21. I built a business and retired at age 51.

 

[1srelluc]

Can you handle the weight of the really broad brush you are using?

I don't have kids and I bought my first rental property when I was 21. I built a business and retired at age 51.

You want a cookie?

 

[Blues Man]

You want a cookie?

You said that since I don't have kids I must have just squeaked by on other people's dimes

You were wrong of course.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

What I can say, is the greatest thing I have done in my life - is raise my two children.
There is no other completeness than there is in doing it right.
There are no words that can describe how much it meant to me when my son told me that the worst thought he had was if he disappointed me. It would take volumes to explain that.
But then one day we were talking and he topped even that. It was shortly before he married. And he was worried about being a good husband, and eventually a father. And he asked me "how did you get to be such a good dad"?
I couldn't speak. And my eyes are watering while I am typing this now.

I cannot imagine life without those things being said to me.

 

[Correll]

It seems that the writer is making some rather broad assumptions that don't track with a lot of the data we have available to us. Such as men being alone equals loneliness. Men are by and large opting out of marriage these days. The reasons are legion, but amongst them are the risk to reward ratio. One of such rewards now no longer requires marriage. So men don't have to buy the cow because the "milk" has never been easier, and cheaper to get in all of human history.
Women's happiness on the otherhand has been plummeting steadily for decades, and is picking up steam. Women as a group almost single handedly keep the antidepressant market booming.

Why are men happier than women? (Published 2007)

www.nytimes.com

Why is depression more prevalent in women?

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Meanwhile most single men just carry on, make their wealth, and take advantage of whatever free pussy comes their way. The only ones striking out are those who exclusively use internet dating apps, which for men really only work if they happen to be very photogenic. In real life however most women are quite receptive to attention, and in fact crave it. In short women have never been more accessible, and by, and large you don't have to put a ring on it to take it for a test drive. So men are simply taking advantage of the options made available to them by women.

These days most of the younger guys I know, and talk to at the gym, the range, ect; are quite content to work on self, career, and financial security, and scoop up all the freebies that come their way. Little to no interest in marriage. And who can blame them? What's in it for them..?

From my observations, even experiences,


1. Agree the risk to reward balance is bad for marriage from a male perspective.

2. But men are not, generally happy to be alone. or "Lone". Especially as they age and they find they don't have a family or their family fell apart for some reason. Yes, they have lives, but their lives are less then they could or SHOULD be.

3. AND, there are implications and effects on SOCIETY, that make this a valid political issue for discussion and policy. IMO.

 

[Unkotare]

You said that since I don't have kids I must have just squeaked by on other people's dimes

You were wrong of course.

Never grew up, never became a real man. ^^^^
Pathetic

 

[Blues Man]

What I can say, is the greatest thing I have done in my life - is raise my two children.
There is no other completeness than there is in doing it right.
There are no words that can describe how much it meant to me when my son told me that the worst thought he had was if he disappointed me. It would take volumes to explain that.
But then one day we were talking and he topped even that. It was shortly before he married. And he was worried about being a good husband, and eventually a father. And he asked me "how did you get to be such a good dad"?
I couldn't speak. And my eyes are watering while I am typing this now.

I cannot imagine life without those things being said to me.

Why should anyone have to explain your own choices to you?

What makes your choices the right choices for other people?

 

[Blues Man]

Never grew up, never became a real man. ^^^^
Pathetic

Yes we know you are pathetic you don't have to sign your posts with it.

And real men have integrity, you don't.

 

[Anathema]

Because young men are more likely to stay home paying video games than they are to socialize with the opposite sex

Maybe that’s because there are fewer and fewer women out there who are worth the guys time and energy?

 

[iamwhatiseem]

Why should anyone have to explain your own choices to you?

What makes your choices the right choices for other people?

I re-read my post. I can't find where I said that.

 

[Blues Man]

Maybe that’s because there are fewer and fewer women out there who are worth the guys time and energy?

I doubt that.