My thoughts on men and women and the dynamics between them.

[Mac-7]

Recently I have had cause to reflect upon the dynamics between a man and a woman. It started out as me casually talking to a man online. This man has since turned into a stalker.

Before, I used to think of men and boys as one of the two sexes, except that they were a bit rowdier and noisier. But now I know better. I realize that men are quite tenacious, menacing, dangerous, obsessed, and can very easily turn into a stalker if a woman is not careful. I have heard of the saying, "it's a men's world", I didn't give it much thought when I was younger, but now I can't help but admit it's true. Men tend to be physically stronger (this is not contestable), smarter as in the sense that they are more mechanically inclined, tech-savvy, can build and make stuff (although there is a bit of room for debate on this one), and lastly, they tend to have this thing that I don't know what to call, I guess you can call it a stronger will. More determination. Greater tenacity. I think in psychology, they call it goal-directedness. It's very close to driven-ness. Having an inner drive. I think that of these qualities, the last one is actually the hardest for a woman to beat a man in. It seems that women just tend to have much less inner drive, when they see something they want, they don't actively go after it or try to do anything about it. So what all this means in a relationship context is that, if a man really wants to hound a woman down or hurt her in some way, she has no choice other than run away.

I really feel that some women don't realize how dangerous men can be. I am attracted to men, and when I was younger, my thought process was pretty straight-forward, I saw a guy that caught my eye, and then I hoped that we would some day be a couple. I think this is how most women see things too, even the ones who aren't young girls anymore. What these women don't realize is that, it is easy enough to be attracted to a man, to fall in love with him, and to get into a relationship with him. However, that's not the whole story. If, for some reason, you want to leave him, and this actually happens regularly, that's when all the fun and romance stop, and things start to get ugly. Because of the driven-ness I mentioned earlier, a man will very likely refuse to let the woman go. This is extremely common. All those things that attracted a woman to a man at the beginning of a romance, things like his determination, his will, his tenacity, his assertiveness...etc will now all turn into forces she has to reckon with, when the relationship dynamic changes and her interests have come into conflict with his. She wants to leave, he doesn't want her to, and some kind of psychological warfare is about to commence. A lot of women seem to have this fairy-tale idea in their minds that it's a very good thing to make a man love you, they think that he will be buying her gifts, flowers, read poems to her under a tree, and give her the world. I mean these things are technically true, however, they come at a very steep price. When a man truly loves you, that translates to the impending loss of your freedom as a woman. You will have a lot less freedom in choosing how you want to live in your life. Let me explain what this means, because some people might think that I mean when a woman is with a man, that means she can't sleep around anymore. But it's actually more than that. It's not about being able to sleep around with other men, it's about having the freedom, the ability, to choose whether you want to sleep around. There are actually many "liberated" women who otherwise don't sleep around. Yes there are those who do, which proves my point. Modern, liberated woman have this freedom to decide how to live their lives. But, if you enter into a relationship with man, then you can only choose not to sleep around. Because, there will be consequences if you do. And the more he loves you, the more severe the consequences will be.

Some women have this fantasy or some sort of desire that they want a man to become addicted to them. I think these women have really low levels of confidence and they need constant boosts in the form of a man being crazy in love with them. These women are also incredibly stupid, because having a man become addicted to you is the absolute LAST thing you want. He will literally go to insane lengths to keep you in his life. Some will stalk you in real life, some will stalk you online. Some put bugs in your car. Some put a key-logger on your computer. And, because of the three advantages I mentioned earlier, it makes things really problematic for the woman, and life generally takes on a hellish quality, depending on the level of the man's feelings for her and his level of intelligence. Regarding the latter, if he's intelligent, and worse if he's also resourceful and creative, then the woman's life is effectively ruined. She might as well start buying a bottle of sleeping pills to take, because very soon all the joy will be drained out of her life. Some men have been known to cyber-stalk women for decades (don't ask me how I know this). Some women, especially the ones with boring lives, might think this is "hot", that some men would desire them so much as to do these things. But in reality, it's incredibly frightening. You'd feel like a prey animal, always trying to run, and the worst thing is that there is probably nowhere to run to. It's like I said earlier, if a man's determined to do something to a woman, it doesn't even have to be romantically motivated, it could just be stalking/cyber-stalking her, then it's incredibly difficult for her to fight back. I guess in theory she could run to a new man for protection, but that's like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Because the new man is also a man, and he's just as equally capable of being those things himself.

So my advice to women is, do not get involved with men. Avoid them as much as possible. And absolutely downplay your attractiveness/vivacity..etc wherever possible. You do NOT want a man to be fascinated with you in some way. Trust me, you do not. I learned this the hard way. It all started as fun and the attention you're getting feels great, but soon, the bloom will come off the rose and you will wish you had been totally invisible. I wish I could un-wind time and un-do the things I did. I just want to live a normal life, away from the prying eyes of so many people. I just want to be left alone.


Lastly, this is off-topic but I just want to mention it cause I think it's interesting. Regarding the 3rd quality, the drive, the tenancity, the stronger will...etc, I believe is actually caused by testosterone. This hormone is known for causing these traits to manifest. However, it's actually not jut about the blood serum level of testosterone. Testosterone actually has structural effects on a person's organs, including the brain. I believe that testosterone changes and shapes certain structures in the brain so that a man will typically tend to be those things I mentioned above. So, what this means is that female-to-male transsexuals, no matter how much testosterone supplements "he" shoves into his body, he will never be quite those things as a biological man. "He" would only have an elevated blood level of this hormone, but all his other organs are still feminine. So, a female-to-male transexual will be like somewhere in between a biological man and a biological woman. He will be stronger than the latter but weak compared to the former. The same reasoning goes for the male-to-female transsexual. These people tend to be stronger than almost all biological women, despite the fact they take plenty of estrogen. They still have a man's bones, muscles, heart, and brain structures. This is a big reason why I, along with a lot of people, object to male-to-female transexuals being in sports against real women. They simply have too much of an unfair advantage.

Women have their wiles that turn men into putty

Men are certainly not perfect

But neither are women

 

[MayorQuimby]

That's funny! That's exactly how felt about your OP!

Thanks for letting me know that my OP triggered you

Here's where, as a man, I can help. There is one simple rule every woman should follow in order make sure she gets a good man: Do NOT sleep with him outside marriage. A good man will feel the same way and go along with it. A bad man won't. He will show his true stripes eventually. He will badger you for sex, throw a fit, and pressure you until you give in. Don't give in. Get rid of his sorry ass. Illicit sex allows people to put on a mask. It blinds people from each other, and keeps them from learning what the other person is REALLY like. I have had to tell this to so many young women who hopped straight into the sack without getting to know the guy, and it ended up like your relationship.

Actually, for your information, I did not sleep with the man who later turned into a stalker. I did not date him, did not say I was his girlfriend, did not even tease him during chat. I was just chatting with him in a completely platonic manner, and he became obsessed with me. I think the reason is because he is a lonely loser who gets no attention from women in real life (he doesn't have a job and literally lives in a shelter). So, he latched on any woman who even took the time to talk to him and unfortunately, I was stupid enough to be this woman.

Lesson I learned: do not befriend or spend time with a man, unless you are willing to date him. And absolutely do not talk to homeless men, because these men WILL become obsessed with any female who does anything other than spit on them.

But yes, generally speaking, I agree with you that a woman shouldn't have sex with a man outside of marriage. Good advice.

I recall a friend and co-worker of my wife's about 40 years ago. The friend was from NOVA, a professional, and relatively promiscuous. One night she met a local somewhat redneck guy at a bar. They went to her house. He gave her a backrub. They ended up having sex. She thought it was a one-and-done thing. When he called and asked for a second date, she said she really wasn't interested. Well, he was. He became absolutely obsessed and stalked her until she finally moved away. See, he mistook their intimacy for true caring. She, in essence lied to him. Girls, follow God's rules; they're in place for a reason. If you violate them, you're asking for trouble.

Here's what she should have done. Maybe gone out with the guy at a neutral site. There she would have conversed and interacted with him enough to know he was a local rube, and she wasn't interested. There would have been no second date, and he wouldn't have stalked her. Problem solved.

She deserved it. Sleeping with a man that one does not know well. Served her right. Sluts like her don't get any sympathy from me.

"A man can turn into a stalker if a woman isn't careful". Being sexist can go both ways.

Yes; but the odds of a man turning into a stalker are much higher than the other way around, dipshit.

 

[initforme]

Sleeping with a woman inside the confines of marriage should also be avoided.

 

[MayorQuimby]

Sleeping with a woman inside the confines of marriage should also be avoided.

You guys need to get together, get organized, and change the laws of your country. Yes, I get it, marriage is risky business for men, but crying about it online solves nothing.

 

[lg325]

I thought the advice was carry a Beretta.

 

[BothWings]

Thanks for letting me know that my OP triggered you

Actually, for your information, I did not sleep with the man who later turned into a stalker. I did not date him, did not say I was his girlfriend, did not even tease him during chat. I was just chatting with him in a completely platonic manner, and he became obsessed with me. I think the reason is because he is a lonely loser who gets no attention from women in real life (he doesn't have a job and literally lives in a shelter). So, he latched on any woman who even took the time to talk to him and unfortunately, I was stupid enough to be this woman.

Lesson I learned: do not befriend or spend time with a man, unless you are willing to date him. And absolutely do not talk to homeless men, because these men WILL become obsessed with any female who does anything other than spit on them.

But yes, generally speaking, I agree with you that a woman shouldn't have sex with a man outside of marriage. Good advice.

She deserved it. Sleeping with a man that one does not know well. Served her right. Sluts like her don't get any sympathy from me.

Yes; but the odds of a man turning into a stalker are much higher than the other way around, dipshit.

LMAO! Having a feeling about something hardly translates to "triggered". But if it pleases you to think so, knock yourself out.

 

[MayorQuimby]

LMAO! Having a feeling about something hardly translates to "triggered". But if it pleases you to think so, knock yourself out.

Please do not have any kind of feeling about something I wrote. It's very disgusting. Thank you.

 

[BothWings]

Please do not have any kind of feeling about something I wrote. It's very disgusting. Thank you.

Then quit posting if you're going to whine like a little bitch when people have opinions about what you write.

 

[John Edgar Slow Horses]

MayorQuimby is a girl whiner.

 

[MayorQuimby]

Then quit posting if you're going to whine like a little bitch when people have opinions about what you write.

I don't have a problem with people having an opinion or even criticism about what I write, however, it has to have some sort of basis. What you did though, was straight up, gratuitous insulting. Why should I tolerate garbage like that?