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Global Warming Is Not a Catastrophe!
True to their devotion to idiocy, human beings have dawdled while their numbers have doubled and global warming moved closer and closer to a point of crisis. Most humans, individually, are moronic, and the human race, collectively, has about as much intelligence as a beetle.
In Siberia and the Canadian North, the permafrost is melting and releasing carbon dioxide and methane. This will likely set up a feed-back loop which will lead to run-away global warming, leaving the Web of Life in tatters and humanity either extinct or reduced to a pitiful remnant. But to call this situation a "catastrophe" is simply scare-tactics and panic-mongering. Life on this planet has survived worse collapses than this one (now the mass extinctions at the end of the Permian Period, that was a catastrophe!).
However, the future of the human race is sufficiently uncertain that I think it would be prudent to begin preparing for all eventualities. If we go extinct, we really should leave some records for the next clever, technologically competent species to inhabit this planet. This would perhaps allow them to avoid the mistakes which we are making and smooth their path to becoming the first intelligent species to arise on planet Earth.
Therefore, I propose that we use the entire gold supply of the planet to make thin gold plates on which are inscribed the history, arts and science of our species. They could just as well serve as a standard of wealth for our economies in this form as in the form of featureless gold ingots. They could then be placed in a geographical or geological situation sufficiently inaccessible that they would only be discovered by a species at a level of culture just a little less "advanced" than our own.
If it be objected that these johnny-come-latelies might melt the plates for currency or jewelry without deciphering them, then we might consider using engraved slabs of granite, somewhat like tombstones (rather appropriate, don't you think, considering the situation?).
At least then, it might be said that our lives had some meaning!
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