Lord Long Rod
Diamond Member
- Jan 17, 2023
- 7,706
- 8,122
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- Banned
- #1
For this story we visit the Kingdom of Twot. In Twot all the little Twotonians shape their lives around the one thing in Twot that has value above all else: the Clotorus, or Clot. The Clot is a glowing hot pink rock, and it is mined by the Twotonians, up on the mounds of Twot. It is their source of wealth, and pleasure. All Twotonians work in the Clot industry.
One day a spaceship full of foreigners arrived in the King of Twot. They were called the Cacks. Historically, Cacks love Twot. Therefore, they were allowed into Twot society and given jobs in the Clot industry. More and more Cacks arrived to get into Twot, some forcibly.
The next few years saw the rise of radical Cacks. They saw Twots as their problem, not a solution. For a solution, they sought to overthrow the Twot and implement fundamental change that would result in tyrannical leftist rule. They would call their new society Anoos. Cacks would give up Twot altogether and instead go into Anoos.
In order to bring about this revolution, the Cacks needed to arm themselves. They realized that if they divert some of the Clotorus rock for their own use, they could make weaponry, such as the mace, swords, spears, etc... And that is exactly what they did. The Cacks gave the Twots the high hard one and stole their Clotorus!
Pretty soon the trouble began. The Cacks began murdering innocent Twots. But the Twots put up a resistance. The King of Twotonia, said "We cannot let those Cacks use our Clotorus against us!! We must destroy the Clotorus!!!!" The people were in an uproar. They responded, "But, oh holy and mighty King of Twot, we treasure the Clotorus!!! We cannot possibly DESTROY it!!!" The King would reply, "Either you get rid of the Clot, or you are going to have to start kissing the lips of Anoos!"
The Twots were sent into a state of deep despair. Their entire identity is wrapped up in the Clotorus. The Clotorus is love and life itself. How could they turn on it?!? But in the coming days a wise old prophet would rise up to guide the little Twots. His name was Dildoss, from the land of Dildositos. He told the little Twots, "Look, your love for the Clotorus is admirable. But it does not have to be a suicide pact. Right now, the Clotorus is getting you motherfuckers killed! So you need to suspend your love for Clotorus and whip them motherfucking Cacks. You got to beat them, off ... right off of Twot! Then, when shit gets back to normal, you can reinstate the regime of Clotorus.
The Twotonians understood. What good is it worshipping a rock when the same is being used to kill you? Ultimately, if they were defeated, the Clotorus was going to become worthless. So, by sacrificing some of it, in reality they were saving it! So the Twots rose up and beat off every Cack in Twot, sending then fleeing from the planet. The citizens of Twot rejoiced. "We have our Clotorus back!!!!", they yelled in celebration. Then the resolved to never let any more Cacks and A-holes in their society, ever again.
One day a spaceship full of foreigners arrived in the King of Twot. They were called the Cacks. Historically, Cacks love Twot. Therefore, they were allowed into Twot society and given jobs in the Clot industry. More and more Cacks arrived to get into Twot, some forcibly.
The next few years saw the rise of radical Cacks. They saw Twots as their problem, not a solution. For a solution, they sought to overthrow the Twot and implement fundamental change that would result in tyrannical leftist rule. They would call their new society Anoos. Cacks would give up Twot altogether and instead go into Anoos.
In order to bring about this revolution, the Cacks needed to arm themselves. They realized that if they divert some of the Clotorus rock for their own use, they could make weaponry, such as the mace, swords, spears, etc... And that is exactly what they did. The Cacks gave the Twots the high hard one and stole their Clotorus!
Pretty soon the trouble began. The Cacks began murdering innocent Twots. But the Twots put up a resistance. The King of Twotonia, said "We cannot let those Cacks use our Clotorus against us!! We must destroy the Clotorus!!!!" The people were in an uproar. They responded, "But, oh holy and mighty King of Twot, we treasure the Clotorus!!! We cannot possibly DESTROY it!!!" The King would reply, "Either you get rid of the Clot, or you are going to have to start kissing the lips of Anoos!"
The Twots were sent into a state of deep despair. Their entire identity is wrapped up in the Clotorus. The Clotorus is love and life itself. How could they turn on it?!? But in the coming days a wise old prophet would rise up to guide the little Twots. His name was Dildoss, from the land of Dildositos. He told the little Twots, "Look, your love for the Clotorus is admirable. But it does not have to be a suicide pact. Right now, the Clotorus is getting you motherfuckers killed! So you need to suspend your love for Clotorus and whip them motherfucking Cacks. You got to beat them, off ... right off of Twot! Then, when shit gets back to normal, you can reinstate the regime of Clotorus.
The Twotonians understood. What good is it worshipping a rock when the same is being used to kill you? Ultimately, if they were defeated, the Clotorus was going to become worthless. So, by sacrificing some of it, in reality they were saving it! So the Twots rose up and beat off every Cack in Twot, sending then fleeing from the planet. The citizens of Twot rejoiced. "We have our Clotorus back!!!!", they yelled in celebration. Then the resolved to never let any more Cacks and A-holes in their society, ever again.
