Sometimes....

[Luddly Neddite]

I was an alcoholic, lived in misery for many years because of it, had an abusive relationship where the guy liked to slap me around, sent me to the emergency room a few times. I've lost my mother and my father. Had two marriages break up. My current marriage is kind of worthless. But by far the hardest thing I've ever had to face was losing this dear, special soul. 94 days today, she's gone, and it's not getting any better. She was my joy, but she also enabled all the other joy in my life. Without her, all the joy is gone.

What I need I cannot have. How can I be comforted when my comforter is gone?

You sound a lot like my past.

Life can turn on a dime. Never ever give up hope, stay open to living because really, you just never know what is just around the corner.

 

[R.D.]

I use pot to relax and unwind cause I have no shoulder to cry on or neck to hug.
Jokes are my way of beating manic depression I developed as an abused child.

Anything that resembled compassion died out long ago in my family,and I refuse to accept new relationships to hide from the bullet of pain and sadness at their failure also....

Life goes on and the world spins whether you suffer or are at ease..no one will notice my life or my passing..as many billions have in the past.

-30-

A sense of humor is a marvelous way to battle your troubles. ((((Hugs to you)))). Compassion is out there, try to be open to it.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I was an alcoholic, lived in misery for many years because of it, had an abusive relationship where the guy liked to slap me around, sent me to the emergency room a few times. I've lost my mother and my father. Had two marriages break up. My current marriage is kind of worthless. But by far the hardest thing I've ever had to face was losing this dear, special soul. 94 days today, she's gone, and it's not getting any better. She was my joy, but she also enabled all the other joy in my life. Without her, all the joy is gone.

What I need I cannot have. How can I be comforted when my comforter is gone?

You sound a lot like my past.

Life can turn on a dime. Never ever give up hope, stay open to living because really, you just never know what is just around the corner.

I just keep marching forward like a robot, when I'm not crying that is. Everything reminds me of her. Spring is coming, oh how she would have loved that. How she loved to lay in the sun and chase tennis balls on the grass. And eat the grass.

She was so wild and joyous, and super smart. Quite a handful sometimes, but I didn't care. She was so damn beautiful inside and out. I've never met anyone else like her in my life, dog or human.

Maybe she taught me something that I'm going to need in the next part of my journey. The only reason I don't kill myself is it might jeopardize the possibility of a reunion with her in the afterlife. (well, that, and also because I'm a chickenshit). Which may or may not happen, probably won't, there probably is no afterlife, but since I don't know I prefer to be on the safe side and not jeopardize it. So I'll try to be a good person for that reason. How pathetic, then you die and are just gone and it's like...the joke is on you. There never was any grand purpose. hahahaha

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I use pot to relax and unwind cause I have no shoulder to cry on or neck to hug.
Jokes are my way of beating manic depression I developed as an abused child.

Anything that resembled compassion died out long ago in my family,and I refuse to accept new relationships to hide from the bullet of pain and sadness at their failure also....

Life goes on and the world spins whether you suffer or are at ease..no one will notice my life or my passing..as many billions have in the past.

-30-

I'm like you...I have no one to comfort me. That's why I'm coming on a message board and boring everyone with my grief.

When my dog had her medical emergency in the early hours of Saturday morning, January 4, my husband declined to come with us to the emergency clinic. Another time before that he had declined because he had to work the next day. Well, this time he was off work, but still wouldn't go. He just didn't want to be bothered with it.

When I got home after making the horrible decision to put her to sleep, I was hysterical and he told me I should go to sleep. Which wasn't all that bad of advice, but the main thing is he didn't want to spend any of his precious time comforting me.

Since she died he has given my arm a squeeze, and said "I miss Greta, too." And he also gave me a quick hug at one point, but it was stiff and awkward. That's it.

So, I'm with you on that, I have no one to comfort me either. And after losing my Greta I don't think I ever want to love someone that much again, so looks like you and I agree on that point also.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I was an alcoholic, lived in misery for many years because of it, had an abusive relationship where the guy liked to slap me around, sent me to the emergency room a few times. I've lost my mother and my father. Had two marriages break up. My current marriage is kind of worthless. But by far the hardest thing I've ever had to face was losing this dear, special soul. 94 days today, she's gone, and it's not getting any better. She was my joy, but she also enabled all the other joy in my life. Without her, all the joy is gone.

What I need I cannot have. How can I be comforted when my comforter is gone?

You sound a lot like my past.

Life can turn on a dime. Never ever give up hope, stay open to living because really, you just never know what is just around the corner.

Except death. We know for sure that death is around the corner somewhere eventually...inevitably. That's why I'm trying to understand death. It's odd, but since Greta has died I am putting all my hopes on death and getting what comfort I can from learning about death. Hoping that it isn't the end, that there are better things to come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil. But I'm far from convinced of that.

 

[Grandma]

I was an alcoholic, lived in misery for many years because of it, had an abusive relationship where the guy liked to slap me around, sent me to the emergency room a few times. I've lost my mother and my father. Had two marriages break up. My current marriage is kind of worthless. But by far the hardest thing I've ever had to face was losing this dear, special soul. 94 days today, she's gone, and it's not getting any better. She was my joy, but she also enabled all the other joy in my life. Without her, all the joy is gone.

What I need I cannot have. How can I be comforted when my comforter is gone?

I felt much the same way when my Kitty had to be put down. I cried for two years. I was sad for several more.

Don't do that. Get another friend.

I was reluctant, I didn't want to get attached to another pet and have to go through putting it down eventually. I didn't want some animal "replacing" Kitty.

But we got Mystic last summer, and she's a joy. She's very different from Kitty, so there's no "replacement" issue. All the same Mystic fills a large hole that Kitty left.

Get a new friend. Maybe a different breed. I'm sure it will help.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I was an alcoholic, lived in misery for many years because of it, had an abusive relationship where the guy liked to slap me around, sent me to the emergency room a few times. I've lost my mother and my father. Had two marriages break up. My current marriage is kind of worthless. But by far the hardest thing I've ever had to face was losing this dear, special soul. 94 days today, she's gone, and it's not getting any better. She was my joy, but she also enabled all the other joy in my life. Without her, all the joy is gone.

What I need I cannot have. How can I be comforted when my comforter is gone?

I felt much the same way when my Kitty had to be put down. I cried for two years. I was sad for several more.

Don't do that. Get another friend.

I was reluctant, I didn't want to get attached to another pet and have to go through putting it down eventually. I didn't want some animal "replacing" Kitty.

But we got Mystic last summer, and she's a joy. She's very different from Kitty, so there's no "replacement" issue. All the same Mystic fills a large hole that Kitty left.

Get a new friend. Maybe a different breed. I'm sure it will help.

I still have four dogs and six cats. They do not fill the hole she left. The day she died I told my husband, I want to go with her!!! He told me no, I can't, because Hannah needs me. Hannah is my other doberman, Greta's half-sister. She is about nine months younger than Greta. And she does need me. So, I stayed.

If all of my other animals had died at once, it would be easier than losing Greta. Same now, it would be easier to lose all of my other animals instead of Hannah.

Having now owned dobermans, I cannot imagine having anything else. Such noble, intelligent, playful, funny, loyal, brave and joyous creatures! And Greta stood out, even among dobermans. Hell, even among people.

Some day I might get a puppy. But I work too far from home to come home at lunch and check on a puppy. And it's way too soon. I feel like I'm betraying Greta even thinking of it.