Single Black Mothers

[I.P.Freely]

I'm white- I am not a hater. I genuinely am curious. It hurts EVERYONE in society, not only black families. It is a bad bad situation all around. I'd like to hear also, if possible from some Black men and women.

have you ever tried a bit of black in the sack.

I have dated a black girl and a half black/ half white girl.

do you mean a mixed race girl.
ps lets go with stereotypes, cat lover...............are you gay?

 

[Rikurzhen]

In the African American community, 72 percent of Black children are raised in a single parent household. Discuss. Why is this?

I'm surprised that so many people are ignorant of African cultural practices with respect to mating and marriage.

A huge factor responsible for the AIDS crisis in Africa is the mating practice of parallel mating. Multiple sex partners, even for married people is very common.

In European societies we see more of serial mating patterns. Monogamy until it no longer satisfies and then move onto a new person.

This mating pattern is so rooted in African cultures that the downstream effects are widely felt. Even inheritance law, for instance. See here, (don't pay attention to the reporter's ignorant theorizing, just note the facts she reports):

There are two reasons why 11-year-old Chikumbutso Zuze never sees his three sisters, why he seldom has a full belly, why he sleeps packed sardinelike with six cousins on the dirt floor of his aunt's thatched mud hut.

One is AIDS, which claimed his father in 2000 and his mother in 2001. The other is his father's nephew, a tall, light-complexioned man whom Chikumbutso knows only as Mr. Sululu.

It was Mr. Sululu who came to his village five years ago, after his father died, and commandeered all of the family's belongings - mattresses, chairs and, most important, the family's green Toyota pickup, an almost unimaginable luxury in this, one of the poorest nations on earth. And it was Mr. Sululu who rejected the pleas of the boy's mother, herself dying of AIDS, to leave the truck so that her children would have an inheritance to sustain them after her death.

Instead, Chikumbutso said, he left behind a battery-powered transistor radio.

"I feel very bitter about it," he said, plopped on a wooden bench in 12-by-12-foot hut rented by his maternal aunt and uncle on the outskirts of this town in the lush hills of southern Malawi. "We don't really know why they did all this. We couldn't understand."

Actually, the answer is simple: custom. Throughout sub-Saharan Africa the death of a father automatically entitles his side of the family to claim most, if not all, of the property he leaves behind, even if it leaves his survivors destitute.​

What the reporter misses is this - in a social environment where there exist many parallel sexual relationships, the man CAN NEVER be sure of paternity. Is the child born to his wife his or that of another man? What can he be sure of? He can be sure that the child born to his sister is related to him. Who gave shelter to the orphans? The maternal aunt and uncle and they did this because they knew that these children were born to their niece. The paternal side of the family has no assurance that these children were in fact fathered by the husband.

This custom exists for a reason, it's not some mindless invention.

So to get to your question, why would we expect the slave experience to bust the cultural practices of the slaves? It hasn't. What we're seeing play out in America's black community is pretty damn close to how the mating and marriage game is played out in numerous African cultures. Americans blacks are more comfortable with parallel relationships than are white-Americans. This preference plays out and delivers the consequences we see. Why would a black-American male want to commit to raising a child which might not be his?

 

[ninja007]

have you ever tried a bit of black in the sack.

I have dated a black girl and a half black/ half white girl.

do you mean a mixed race girl.
ps lets go with stereotypes, cat lover...............are you gay?

gay, meaning happy? often, yes.

 

[Gracie]

Maybe your answers are in here:

https://www.google.com/webhp?source...=Black women tell why they are single mothers

maybe, but this is why this message board exists- to discuss these things

Kinda hard to discuss it when nobody seems to have the answers..even the single black ladies. And...it kinda smacks of..I dunno. It kinda makes me uncomfortable.

 

[Asclepias]

In the African American community, 72 percent of Black children are raised in a single parent household. Discuss. Why is this?

When you look at the groups that have most been affected by racism in the US you see a correlation between that and single parent homes. There are more factors than just racism but that's where it starts.

 

[Asclepias]

If you are a white person perhaps the question you should be asking is why 28% of white children live in a single parent homes? Once you find out the reasons you should easily be able to see how a racist society exacerbates those issues for people of color.

 

[Gracie]

What does racism have to do with black women having children and the fathers choose to not be part of raising their children?

 

[Rikurzhen]

In the African American community, 72 percent of Black children are raised in a single parent household. Discuss. Why is this?

When you look at the groups that have most been affected by racism in the US you see a correlation between that and single parent homes. There are more factors than just racism but that's where it starts.

The black illegitimacy rate in 1964 was "only" 23.6%. It seems that the Civil Rights legislation has made matters worse for the black community. Perhaps it's time to reset the clock and rescind the Civil Rights Act and help black families heal in a social environment (absent civil rights) which is more conducive to healthy black families.

 

[Asclepias]

What does racism have to do with black women having children and the fathers choose to not be part of raising their children?

Single parent has nothing to do with the father not wanting to be part of raising the child. Single parent is a descriptor used in statistics. Technically my oldest lived in a single parent home until I got custody but I took better care of her than fathers that lived in the home.

Racism has a direct effect on how much money you make. If you dont understand the effect money has on a marriage this conversation is too deep for you.

 

[Asclepias]

In the African American community, 72 percent of Black children are raised in a single parent household. Discuss. Why is this?

When you look at the groups that have most been affected by racism in the US you see a correlation between that and single parent homes. There are more factors than just racism but that's where it starts.

The black illegitimacy rate in 1964 was "only" 23.6%. It seems that the Civil Rights legislation has made matters worse for the black community. Perhaps it's time to reset the clock and rescind the Civil Rights Act and help black families heal in a social environment (absent civil rights) which is more conducive to healthy black families.

In 1964 it was a social norm that being a single parent was basically a sin. What was the rate for white people back then? I bet it was lower as well. Like I said figure out why white kids live in single parent homes then multiply those reasons when applying to people that are not at the top of the social ladder. Your refusal to understand that simplistic concept speaks loudly regarding your intelligence level.

 

[R.C. Christian]

Destruction of the black family by all means is the reason that many of them now suck. Past down to generation to generation like a West Virginia double wide.

But yes, white people did that shit for nefarious reasons, and it wasn't just civilians that were involved. I'd suggest "some white people" from the government down. A conspiracy, absolutely. Check out Ruth Ginsberg.

These days, economic plight really doesn't have so much pigment. We're all fucked and all equally fucked, but the same old instigators keep the race game going.

 

[Gracie]

What does racism have to do with black women having children and the fathers choose to not be part of raising their children?

Single parent has nothing to do with the father not wanting to be part of raising the child. Single parent is a descriptor used in statistics. Technically my oldest lived in a single parent home until I got custody but I took better care of her than fathers that lived in the home.

Racism has a direct effect on how much money you make. If you dont understand the effect money has on a marriage this conversation is too deep for you.

That is just ridiculous. You can twist it to be about racism all you want but that dog don't hunt. Men decide to be fathers by having sex...women decide to not take birth control....they wind up having children and the dad, for whatever reason, decides he has better things to do...and the woman has the kid(s) because she is too damn lazy to make them wear a rubber or whatever...and they happen to be black. Racism has NOTHING to do with it. Choice does.

 

[Asclepias]

What does racism have to do with black women having children and the fathers choose to not be part of raising their children?

Single parent has nothing to do with the father not wanting to be part of raising the child. Single parent is a descriptor used in statistics. Technically my oldest lived in a single parent home until I got custody but I took better care of her than fathers that lived in the home.

Racism has a direct effect on how much money you make. If you dont understand the effect money has on a marriage this conversation is too deep for you.

That is just ridiculous. You can twist it to be about racism all you want but that dog don't hunt. Men decide to be fathers by having sex...women decide to not take birth control....they wind up having children and the dad, for whatever reason, decides he has better things to do...and the woman has the kid(s) because she is too damn lazy to make them wear a rubber or whatever...and they happen to be black. Racism has NOTHING to do with it. Choice does.

Men dont decide to be fathers by having sex. Thats just a result of having sex.....sometimes. The point being is that the children live in a single family home. All that means is the father is not there which I maintain is due to a racially skewed society. This is exactly why we cant have a thread discussing issues. Just because you as a white person dont like the answer that doesnt make it a wrong answer. If its ridiculous why did you waste your time asking me?

 

[ninja007]

Single parent has nothing to do with the father not wanting to be part of raising the child. Single parent is a descriptor used in statistics. Technically my oldest lived in a single parent home until I got custody but I took better care of her than fathers that lived in the home.

Racism has a direct effect on how much money you make. If you dont understand the effect money has on a marriage this conversation is too deep for you.

That is just ridiculous. You can twist it to be about racism all you want but that dog don't hunt. Men decide to be fathers by having sex...women decide to not take birth control....they wind up having children and the dad, for whatever reason, decides he has better things to do...and the woman has the kid(s) because she is too damn lazy to make them wear a rubber or whatever...and they happen to be black. Racism has NOTHING to do with it. Choice does.

Men dont decide to be fathers by having sex. Thats just a result of having sex.....sometimes. The point being is that the children live in a single family home. All that means is the father is not there which I maintain is due to a racially skewed society. This is exactly why we cant have a thread discussing issues. Just because you as a white person dont like the answer that doesnt make it a wrong answer. If its ridiculous why did you waste your time asking me?

is there anything that 1. isn't ******'s fault and 2. anything blacks take responsibility for? 3. doesn't victimhood get tiring? 4. life must suck for MOST blacks. 5. you only have one life- and it is way too short to complain and be bitter.

 

[ninja007]

eta- if blacks, in general spent as much time trying to improve themselves as they do bitching, complaining and gangbanging they might have a chance. There is a point in time when a person (any race or sex) must get on living life and trying to improve themselves. Btw, I feel the same way about white's with the same lifestyles ("trailer trash").

 

[Rikurzhen]

All that means is the father is not there which I maintain is due to a racially skewed society.

Your broken record act is funny, always shifting blame onto white society.

Black male behavior in America is found in Black-run societies in Africa:

Kenya:

Six of every 10 Kenyan women are likely to be single mothers by the time they reach 45, one of the highest rates for single-parent families in Africa.

According to new research that reveals an astounding new face of the Kenyan family, an increasing number of women are drawn into single parenthood as more men abandon their traditional role as providers for their children.

An array of factors, including irresponsible fathers, peer pressure and the struggle to cope with modernisation, are blamed for the trend, in which three in 10 Kenyan girls become pregnant before the age of 18.​

South Africa:

Almost half of all mothers in South Africa are single.

Only 33% of black children live with their fathers whereas 87% of white children live with both parents.​

Liberia:

A research conducted in some counties of Liberia suggests that approximately 95 percent of women in the country are single mothers, which estimate gender experts say represents a single most significant gender-factor in national development because it clearly relates to women participation and representation.​

 

[ninja007]

the bottom line is most black men will sleep with anything and cannot keep their peckers in their pants. Not to mention lazy and druggies and alcoholics and gang bangers for the most part. (not all, of course!) The bottom line is this. Most of these problems stem from single mother households and not racism.

 

[Kinte]

Maybe these women ought to keep their legs closed or maybe practice safe sex. Yes I know it doesn't work, so they know what's in store when they get involved. No excuses and we get stuck with the bill. Time to stop the madness of "entitlements" what a bogus scam setup by the libs.

 

[Rikurzhen]

Slavery made single parenthood part of our culture. Families were often broken up by slaveowners, with the father being "sold down the river" and never seen again. As a result, two-parent families, with the father present from cradle to the children leaving the nest, became the exception rather than the rule.

Face it, stable two-parent families have never been part of our black culture in this country. That's not likely to change overnight.

Nice Fairy Tale. Here's the Washington Post:

" I was stunned to learn that a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents during slavery days than he or she is today, according to sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin.​

 

[Vidor]

I'm sure more black men would like to be part of their kids lives but it's hard to do when you're in the penitentiary. I'm not saying that's all bad. A lot of them belong there.