Relationship Discussions Thread

[Joz]

I'm in a rush to get MM to the gig so my hair is more than damp from the shower. We get there & he asks me to come in because he got a new drum anchor and might need some help. So I figure I can dart in & out before it gets crowded.
Helen, Bobby's mom asks me to stay for a little bit; I hated leaving her. I'm not cleaned up. Eventually I get my hair tied back so it isn't just stringing in my face.

I'm getting ready to leave when MM tells me I need to go over to this couple and introduce myself. MM said they know a musician he & I know. So I do. And yes, the man knows Danny, from waaaaaay back. I tho't they knew MM from way back, too, but just heard him 3 weeks ago. She thinks MM is the greatest singer she's ever heard. I'm proud.
Then this woman tell me she & Bill are dating, about 4 months now. I think this is cool! They've been friends for 50 years; she introduced Bill to his first wife. She is recently divorced at age 63 after almost 44 years of marriage.
She tells me she hasn't had a date in almost 46 years..... and she'd like to "get lucky", but she doesn't know how to go about it. I laugh. I'm assuming she is shy because Bill has been married twice & has also dated. She said, "He's experienced'. So, dumb me says, "You were married"!
Then I'm told she was married to a preacher and apparently there was no sex ALL THOSE YEARS. She whispered to me she just learned what a dildo was, and I hope the look on my face didn't reveal the shock!
She said she didn't have one, but needed a younger sister to help her out. I asked if she had a computer (she does) so I told her she could find info on anything she needed to, there. She asked if she should type www.sex.com? I told her to go to Yahoo or Google, type in what she wanted to learn to do & it would tell her. She hugged & thanked me, then left.
MM thinks I was there for this reason tonight...I don't know. What I do know is that tho' some people think this 'sex talk' is inappropriate, sex & intimacy is a vital part of our lives, our relationships, our well-being.

Bill better brace himself. He's got one hot momma on his hands!

 

[dilloduck]

I'm in a rush to get MM to the gig so my hair is more than damp from the shower. We get there & he asks me to come in because he got a new drum anchor and might need some help. So I figure I can dart in & out before it gets crowded.
Helen, Bobby's mom asks me to stay for a little bit; I hated leaving her. I'm not cleaned up. Eventually I get my hair tied back so it isn't just stringing in my face.

I'm getting ready to leave when MM tells me I need to go over to this couple and introduce myself. MM said they know a musician he & I know. So I do. And yes, the man knows Danny, from waaaaaay back. I tho't they knew MM from way back, too, but just heard him 3 weeks ago. She thinks MM is the greatest singer she's ever heard. I'm proud.
Then this woman tell me she & Bill are dating, about 4 months now. I think this is cool! They've been friends for 50 years; she introduced Bill to his first wife. She is recently divorced at age 63 after almost 44 years of marriage.
She tells me she hasn't had a date in almost 46 years..... and she'd like to "get lucky", but she doesn't know how to go about it. I laugh. I'm assuming she is shy because Bill has been married twice & has also dated. She said, "He's experienced'. So, dumb me says, "You were married"!
Then I'm told she was married to a preacher and apparently there was no sex ALL THOSE YEARS. She whispered to me she just learned what a dildo was, and I hope the look on my face didn't reveal the shock!
She said she didn't have one, but needed a younger sister to help her out. I asked if she had a computer (she does) so I told her she could find info on anything she needed to, there. She asked if she should type www.sex.com? I told her to go to Yahoo or Google, type in what she wanted to learn to do & it would tell her. She hugged & thanked me, then left.
MM thinks I was there for this reason tonight...I don't know. What I do know is that tho' some people think this 'sex talk' is inappropriate, sex & intimacy is a vital part of our lives, our relationships, our well-being.

Bill better brace himself. He's got one hot momma on his hands!

Look out DR. Ruth !!!----you've got some serious competition !!!!

 

[Avatar4321]

So, dumb me says, "You were married"!
Then I'm told she was married to a preacher and apparently there was no sex ALL THOSE YEARS.

Well then the preacher really needs to repent a bit. I mean I would think that preachers should be the ones having the wildest craziest sex with their wives. I mean after all they are the ones that supposedly have studied the scriptures the most and should take it a delight to fulfill the first commandment of God to multiply and replenish the earth. I would think having sex with ones wife would be the easiest and most fun of all the commandments to keep.

She whispered to me she just learned what a dildo was, and I hope the look on my face didn't reveal the shock!

A what? Do I want to know or should my virgin ears just close right now.

 

[dilloduck]

Well then the preacher really needs to repent a bit. I mean I would think that preachers should be the ones having the wildest craziest sex with their wives. I mean after all they are the ones that supposedly have studied the scriptures the most and should take it a delight to fulfill the first commandment of God to multiply and replenish the earth. I would think having sex with ones wife would be the easiest and most fun of all the commandments to keep.



A what? Do I want to know or should my virgin ears just close right now.

Since Dr. Joz the sex therapist isn't here now, you may want to just google it !

 

[dmp]

yowsers.

I could understand, however. I know a couple who was married for 9 years before they consumated the marriage. She was always afraid it'd hurt to badly. Her husband is a good man...but finally said "If we hit our 10 year, and still haven't done it, I'm gone."

Now, they have a year old baby!

 

[musicman]

yowsers.

I could understand, however. I know a couple who was married for 9 years before they consumated the marriage. She was always afraid it'd hurt to badly. Her husband is a good man...but finally said "If we hit our 10 year, and still haven't done it, I'm gone."

Now, they have a year old baby!

That reminds me of the guy whose wife was afraid of the same thing. He promised to only put it in halfway, and she agreed to give it a try. Of course, once he's in, our hero goes ALL in. She says, "Mmm, that feels nice. Put it in the rest of the way." Thinking quickly, he says, "No, no, my darling - a promise is a promise!"

 

[Bonnie]

Avatar....Well then the preacher really needs to repent a bit. I mean I would think that preachers should be the ones having the wildest craziest sex with their wives. I mean after all they are the ones that supposedly have studied the scriptures the most and should take it a delight to fulfill the first commandment of God to multiply and replenish the earth. I would think having sex with ones wife would be the easiest and most fun of all the commandments to keep.

I would think so too!!!

 

[sitarro]

I'm in a rush to get MM to the gig so my hair is more than damp from the shower. We get there & he asks me to come in because he got a new drum anchor and might need some help. So I figure I can dart in & out before it gets crowded.
Helen, Bobby's mom asks me to stay for a little bit; I hated leaving her. I'm not cleaned up. Eventually I get my hair tied back so it isn't just stringing in my face.

I'm getting ready to leave when MM tells me I need to go over to this couple and introduce myself. MM said they know a musician he & I know. So I do. And yes, the man knows Danny, from waaaaaay back. I tho't they knew MM from way back, too, but just heard him 3 weeks ago. She thinks MM is the greatest singer she's ever heard. I'm proud.
Then this woman tell me she & Bill are dating, about 4 months now. I think this is cool! They've been friends for 50 years; she introduced Bill to his first wife. She is recently divorced at age 63 after almost 44 years of marriage.
She tells me she hasn't had a date in almost 46 years..... and she'd like to "get lucky", but she doesn't know how to go about it. I laugh. I'm assuming she is shy because Bill has been married twice & has also dated. She said, "He's experienced'. So, dumb me says, "You were married"!
Then I'm told she was married to a preacher and apparently there was no sex ALL THOSE YEARS. She whispered to me she just learned what a dildo was, and I hope the look on my face didn't reveal the shock!
She said she didn't have one, but needed a younger sister to help her out. I asked if she had a computer (she does) so I told her she could find info on anything she needed to, there. She asked if she should type www.sex.com? I told her to go to Yahoo or Google, type in what she wanted to learn to do & it would tell her. She hugged & thanked me, then left.
MM thinks I was there for this reason tonight...I don't know. What I do know is that tho' some people think this 'sex talk' is inappropriate, sex & intimacy is a vital part of our lives, our relationships, our well-being.

Bill better brace himself. He's got one hot momma on his hands!

I fell in love with a lady that had been married for 4 years and had never achieved a big O with her husband . . . she needed to go to the shower massage to get what was due(they were close friends , I was in the wedding and caught her garter, she told me everything) . She had named that shower massage and depended on it for her 4 years of marriage. I , of course , was more that happy to help her be less dependent on the shower after she was divorced . For that she was responsible for all the grey that you see in my avatar. I guess that is what happens when you live with someone for 6 years without a ring , she never gave me any rest on that marriage question . I would tell her I was married but she wanted the paper that proved it. She left me for an electrical engineer !

 

[Joz]

I fell in love with a lady that had been married for 4 years ..... I would tell her I was married but she wanted the paper that proved it. She left me for an electrical engineer !

Now, I'm curious. Apparently you were able to helpthis woman grow sexually, you lived with her for 6 years, she wanted a lifetime commitment from you, you say you loved her.....So what's up?

 

[Joz]

yowsers.
I could understand, however. I know a couple who was married for 9 years before they consumated the marriage. She was always afraid it'd hurt to badly. Her husband is a good man...but finally said "If we hit our 10 year, and still haven't done it, I'm gone."Now, they have a year old baby!

Well this man has an awful lot of patience! Most men would not have hung around that long. I'm happy they now have a family. It does show that a relationship is not just about sex; just that it's important. More to some, than others.

 

[sitarro]

Now, I'm curious. Apparently you were able to helpthis woman grow sexually, you lived with her for 6 years, she wanted a lifetime commitment from you, you say you loved her.....So what's up?

I was the second man she had ever had any experience with and she had already found out how easy it was to get out of that "lifetime commitment" the first time . I believe that marriage that , a lifetime commitment , and didn't have faith in her to remain around. I felt she would always wonder about other men since she had so little experience and didn't trust that she believed the lifetime commitment thing . After all that piece of paper didn't keep her commited the first time , why did she suddenly believe in it again.
I guess I always believed in the proverb . . .
If you love something let it go , if it returns it is yours ...if it doesn't , it was never yours to begin with . . . .or something like that .
I am still waiting for the return but I guess that's not gonna happen . We broke up 19 years ago and now she is married to an "alternative" preacher in Portland ,Oregon . I made a point to remain friends all of these years but she decided to quit speaking to me last year because I was backing President Bush and she feels I am just another idiot from a red state . Typical liberal mentality , she spent 10 years going to a therapist to find out that the woman she was when she was with me wasn't her at all and that the real one is much more progressive and intelligent . OK sure . The last time I spoke to her she was with a group of women baking pies for peace , they sold pies to raise money for the poor Iraqi civilians that our soldiers were hurting ! I told she should be baking pies for OUR soldiers who were defending us . . . we haven't spoken since.

 

[Said1]

I was the second man she had ever had any experience with and she had already found out how easy it was to get out of that "lifetime commitment" the first time . I believe that marriage that , a lifetime commitment , and didn't have faith in her to remain around. I felt she would always wonder about other men since she had so little experience and didn't trust that she believed the lifetime commitment thing . After all that piece of paper didn't keep her commited the first time , why did she suddenly believe in it again.
I guess I always believed in the proverb . . .
If you love something let it go , if it returns it is yours ...if it doesn't , it was never yours to begin with . . . .or something like that .
I am still waiting for the return but I guess that's not gonna happen . We broke up 19 years ago and now she is married to an "alternative" preacher in Portland ,Oregon . I made a point to remain friends all of these years but she decided to quit speaking to me last year because I was backing President Bush and she feels I am just another idiot from a red state . Typical liberal mentality , she spent 10 years going to a therapist to find out that the woman she was when she was with me wasn't her at all and that the real one is much more progressive and intelligent . OK sure . The last time I spoke to her she was with a group of women baking pies for peace , they sold pies to raise money for the poor Iraqi civilians that our soldiers were hurting ! I told she should be baking pies for OUR soldiers who were defending us . . . we haven't spoken since.

Oh well, all is well that ends well....eh?

 

[sitarro]

Oh well, all is well that ends well....eh?

That's right , I guess I had some of that men's intuition about her . I knew there was a problem when I had a once in a lifetime chance to caddy for my brother in The Masters and she was really upset that I went . . . yea sure I'm not going to go experience the holy fairways and greens of Augusta National from inside the ropes because she doesn't want me to . . .right.

 

[Said1]

That's right , I guess I had some of that men's intuition about her . I knew there was a problem when I had a once in a lifetime chance to caddy for my brother in The Masters and she was really upset that I went . . . yea sure I'm not going to go experience the holy fairways and greens of Augusta National from inside the ropes because she doesn't want me to . . .right.

LOL, no kidding. Sounds like you made the right choice! My friends neice died of cancer at 4 yrs old, and I would bet money that his fiancee was jealous of the little girl. It became really obvious when she asked him not to spend so much time with her and his brother's family. He married her anyway, amazing!

 

[dmp]

Speaking about spouses who get upset...

Jealousy...anyone here have an over-protective spouse? My wife is very cool about things...she and I rarely feel competition when another flirts with one of us, etc...

 

[Joz]

......

I felt she would always wonder about other men since she had so little experience and didn't trust that she believed the lifetime commitment thing . After all that piece of paper didn't keep her commited the first time , why did she suddenly believe in it again.

Experience has nothing to do with committment. I went from the care of my parents-to marriage-to the relationship I'm in now.
I didn't cheat before & have no intentions on behaving that way now. You're right. Committment doesn't come from a piece of paper.

I am still waiting for the return but I guess that's not gonna happen . We broke up 19 years ago and now she is married to an "alternative" preacher in Portland ,Oregon

WHY have you been waiting???

she spent 10 years going to a therapist to find out that the woman she was when she was with me wasn't her at all and that the real one is much more progressive and intelligent . OK sure .

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my......Hahhahhah

The last time I spoke to her she was with a group of women baking pies for peace , they sold pies to raise money for the poor Iraqi civilians that our soldiers were hurting ! I told she should be baking pies for OUR soldiers who were defending us . . . we haven't spoken since.

Personally, I think you're better off. But then, love doesn't always make snese.

 

[Said1]

Speaking about spouses who get upset...

Jealousy...anyone here have an over-protective spouse? My wife is very cool about things...she and I rarely feel competition when another flirts with one of us, etc...

Had.
Not me though.

 

[Joz]

Speaking about spouses who get upset...

Jealousy...anyone here have an over-protective spouse? My wife is very cool about things...she and I rarely feel competition when another flirts with one of us, etc...

I suffer from this more than MM does. Most of the time I'm real cool about it but there's always one that gets under my skin. I've talked to other musician's partners and they say the same thing; there's always that one. But there are some that really go ballistic when a woman behaves 'friendly' towards their man. Some have gone so far as to be escorted off the premises.

Like last night. I was sitting at a table with Helen & the band went on break. MM was talking to Bobby up by the bar. There was this woman that was gyrating to the CD playing not far from where MM was standing. Cute. But then when he turned his head while talking to look at what was going on around him, she began her 'humping movement' & motioned for him to come the her. So I got up, walked over to him, and whispered tenderly in his ear, "I'll kick her ass". To which MM looks at me & says, "What are you talking about"? And I said, "Nothing dear, I know what I'm doing".

 

[dmp]

I suffer from this more than MM does. Most of the time I'm real cool about it but there's always one that gets under my skin. I've talked to other musician's partners and they say the same thing; there's always that one. But there are some that really go ballistic when a woman behaves 'friendly' towards their man. Some have gone so far as to be escorted off the premises.

Like last night. I was sitting at a table with Helen & the band went on break. MM was talking to Bobby up by the bar. There was this woman that was gyrating to the CD playing not far from where MM was standing. Cute. But then when he turned his head while talking to look at what was going on around him, she began her 'humping movement' & motioned for him to come the her. So I got up, walked over to him, and whispered tenderly in his ear, "I'll kick her ass". To which MM looks at me & says, "What are you talking about"? And I said, "Nothing dear, I know what I'm doing".

lol

Honestly, it's nice to feel a bit protected by one's spouse.

 

[dilloduck]

I suffer from this more than MM does. Most of the time I'm real cool about it but there's always one that gets under my skin. I've talked to other musician's partners and they say the same thing; there's always that one. But there are some that really go ballistic when a woman behaves 'friendly' towards their man. Some have gone so far as to be escorted off the premises.

Like last night. I was sitting at a table with Helen & the band went on break. MM was talking to Bobby up by the bar. There was this woman that was gyrating to the CD playing not far from where MM was standing. Cute. But then when he turned his head while talking to look at what was going on around him, she began her 'humping movement' & motioned for him to come the her. So I got up, walked over to him, and whispered tenderly in his ear, "I'll kick her ass". To which MM looks at me & says, "What are you talking about"? And I said, "Nothing dear, I know what I'm doing".

well??????? did you kick her ass?????