Raising Masculine Sons

[toobfreak]

But how does a woman instill healthy masculinity in her sons?

You don't. That is the father's role by setting a good role model. The mother teachers a son to be a gentleman and a good husband and father by respecting women. Other than that, you can just show them your unconditional love and approval as their proper masculinity evolves to guide them into adulthood.

 

[Cecilie1200]

You don't. That is the father's role by setting a good role model. The mother teachers a son to be a gentleman and a good husband and father by respecting women. Other than that, you can just show them your unconditional love and approval as their proper masculinity evolves to guide them into adulthood.

Well, see, those things WOULD instill healthy masculinity in her sons. Thank you for being the first person to contribute an answer to the question.

We've known for a long time that a lack of a good father figure in a girl's life can lead her to have a toxic relationship with her own femininity (jokes about "daddy issues", anyone?) later in life. I'm trying to discuss the importance of the inverse, the maternal influence on a boy's relationship to his own masculinity.

So what essential components does a mother uniquely contribute to raising her son to be not just a generically good person, but specifically to exhibiting positive masculinity?

 

[WinterBorn]

You are so funny...and so full of shit.

Oh I don't deny I am full of shit. But in this case, I listed just a few of the things I wanted my sons to learn from my example.

 

[Brick Gold]

Dont give America children. Theyll turn out fine, somewhere else. Unless you are wealthy but even then, its a tough call and a huge gamble to have American sons, even with all that money. So youd need to raise your chances and odds through having a lot of sons and raising them in separate locations. Maybe one of them wont get screwed up.

But really, why spend all that fortune away and go through all that trouble when its a lot easier to just start a family outside of America? It wont be an Olympic sized challenge.

 

[WinterBorn]

Dont give America children. Theyll turn out fine, somewhere else. Unless you are wealthy but even then, its a tough call and a huge gamble to have American sons, even with all that money. So youd need to raise your chances and odds through having a lot of sons and raising them in separate locations. Maybe one of them wont get screwed up.

But really, why spend all that fortune away and go through all that trouble when its a lot easier to just start a family outside of America? It wont be an Olympic sized challenge.

You are obviously clueless about both raising children and what it is like in the US.

 

[Cecilie1200]

When I went to the furniture store to pick out my desk and chair, someone complimented me on how polite and friendly my guys were. I was so proud of them.

One of the focuses of the conversation with them was healthy ways to express their masculinity in a society which is increasingly hostile to gender roles in general, and men in particular. This is actually a recurring theme in our discussions.

 

[Rigby5]

There really is no exact answer to this because if one were to study the historic role of males in primate species, that may not coincide with that our current society actually expects or wants.
So that conflict prevents anyone from knowing how anyone should act, not just males.

It is my opinion that males have inherent aggression so that they will instinctively sacrifice themselves attacking a threat, so that the women and children can then escape.
But modern society no longer wants aggression except if you are in the military or police.
We are supposed to remain passive in the face of threats like a landlord eviction, even though landlord really should not even exist.

 

[Cecilie1200]

There really is no exact answer to this because if one were to study the historic role of males in primate species, that may not coincide with that our current society actually expects or wants.
So that conflict prevents anyone from knowing how anyone should act, not just males.

It is my opinion that males have inherent aggression so that they will instinctively sacrifice themselves attacking a threat, so that the women and children can then escape.
But modern society no longer wants aggression except if you are in the military or police.
We are supposed to remain passive in the face of threats like a landlord eviction, even though landlord really should not even exist.

I think modern society may not WANT masculinity, but I think it still NEEDS it.

 

[Bernhard]

I've been working for three weeks at my new job, which allows me to work from home. Friday was my first payday with them, and I took the opportunity to buy myself a proper computer desk and ergonomic chair (I've been working at the dining room table, and my neck feels permanently cramped). Today my two sons assembled the chair and the desk, while teasing me that my lack of any mechanical ability is due to my being a girl.

This sparked a conversation which got me thinking about raising sons to be men with a healthy masculinity in this day and age. Specifically, I'm pondering over the role a mother can play in this. Obviously, a father's role is to exemplify healthy masculinity in his own behavior. But how does a woman instill healthy masculinity in her sons? I think my oldest son, who is 26, stands as evidence that I've managed this in his case (his younger brother is 13, so we'll see), but I'll be damned if I could tell you exactly how.

What thoughts do you guys have on this subject?

I'd say, just take care that your sons will be decent individuals, regardless of their sex or gender, and the rest will just fall in place.

The images of what it means to be a good man or a good woman vary over time, but as long as you have values, be a decent human being and have a sane trust in yourself, it will be enough to just be yourself.

 

[WinterBorn]

There really is no exact answer to this because if one were to study the historic role of males in primate species, that may not coincide with that our current society actually expects or wants.
So that conflict prevents anyone from knowing how anyone should act, not just males.

It is my opinion that males have inherent aggression so that they will instinctively sacrifice themselves attacking a threat, so that the women and children can then escape.
But modern society no longer wants aggression except if you are in the military or police.
We are supposed to remain passive in the face of threats like a landlord eviction, even though landlord really should not even exist.

Good post. I have no argument with most of it.

But the last line puzzles me. If a landlord evicts you, it is almost always because you didn't pay rent or did something to violate the rules. Why would you be aggressive towards him for what you did?

And why shouldn't a landlord exist? If you aren't buying a place, someone else has to own it.

 

[Bernhard]

Oh, and teach your sons not to engage in debates on the internet. There is no good masculinity on the internet, just pathetic guys who regularly engage in toxic behavior.

 

[toobfreak]

Well, see, those things WOULD instill healthy masculinity in her sons. Thank you for being the first person to contribute an answer to the question.

We've known for a long time that a lack of a good father figure in a girl's life can lead her to have a toxic relationship with her own femininity (jokes about "daddy issues", anyone?) later in life. I'm trying to discuss the importance of the inverse, the maternal influence on a boy's relationship to his own masculinity.

So what essential components does a mother uniquely contribute to raising her son to be not just a generically good person, but specifically to exhibiting positive masculinity?

You are confusing reinforcing behavior with instilling it. The same sex parent instills it, the opposite sex parent reinforces it through positive feedback,. just as a pitcher throws the ball to set its flight while the catcher limits its travel to just far enough. Relative to the child, each parent psychologically comes at the child from two different opposite directions or sides in either molding or guiding the child into adulthood. That is how one's sexual identity is ideally determined.

Progressives have dismantled nature's system, and as a result now we have mass numbers of kids growing up today with a great deal of gender confusion. In effect, progressivism has unleashed rampant mental illness upon society in the effort to instill greater "freedoms," instead giving us chaos.

 

[Brick Gold]

You are obviously clueless about both raising children and what it is like in the US.

Believe what you want to believe, I have no interest in changing your mind, but I won't be silenced.

 

[Unkotare]

Dont give America children. Theyll turn out fine, somewhere else. Unless you are wealthy but even then, its a tough call and a huge gamble to have American sons, even with all that money. So youd need to raise your chances and odds through having a lot of sons and raising them in separate locations. Maybe one of them wont get screwed up.

But really, why spend all that fortune away and go through all that trouble when its a lot easier to just start a family outside of America? It wont be an Olympic sized challenge.

Or how about you just go fuck yourself and see what happens?

 

[Anathema]

What thoughts do you guys have on this subject?

I believe there are a number of things a mother can do to help with this…

Be feminine. Teach your boys what to expect in a properly feminine woman. MascoNen really only thrive in an environment with properly feminine women.

Show them what a woman expects from a Man. This is done by borh expecting it of their father (and pointing it out when it doesn’t happen) and then expecting it if the boys as well

Lastly… raise properly feminine daughters.

 

[Rigby5]

I think modern society may not WANT masculinity, but I think it still NEEDS it.

I tend to think so as well, but that means the potential for an immediate physical reaction to an emotional situation, like "fighting words".
If we want the species to continue, I also think we need males to be somewhat sexually aggressive?
The desire to be respected, recognized, etc., also leads to ambition, excellence, etc.
The desire to protect and provide, also makes males worry about and plan for long range contingencies.

 

[Rigby5]

Good post. I have no argument with most of it.

But the last line puzzles me. If a landlord evicts you, it is almost always because you didn't pay rent or did something to violate the rules. Why would you be aggressive towards him for what you did?

And why shouldn't a landlord exist? If you aren't buying a place, someone else has to own it.

The whole "landlord" thing is a left over from the aristocracy.
Originally we were all hunter/gatherers who could never even conceive of the lie that anyone can "own" land.
You can't really "own" that which you did not create.
Landlords were those who the ruling tyrant wanted to award with an arbitrary edict.
I am a successful landlord because I understand the laws, taxes, and economics, but it is totally unethical.
All I do is provide the credit, and then I can get people to line up in order to buy the property for me.
No one should be forced to rent, and everyone should own their own home, with a few exceptions.

 

[Rigby5]

The main thing to remember is that history is the most reliable.
And I do not mean the last 10k years, where religion and aristocracy have lied to us all.
I mean the last 1 million years of humans as hunter/gatherers.
Then women ran the village because the men were out hunting.
The women did the agriculture, science, healing, technology, etc., as well as the child care.
The neolithic fertility goddess statues seem to indicate the male centric hierarchy is less than 10k yeas old.

The hunters faced the highest risks, but it was women who organized and lead the tribes originally.
Males only took over in times of war or emergency.

 

[WinterBorn]

Believe what you want to believe, I have no interest in changing your mind, but I won't be silenced.

You are welcome to be wrong as loudly as you wish.

 

[WinterBorn]

The whole "landlord" thing is a left over from the aristocracy.
Originally we were all hunter/gatherers who could never even conceive of the lie that anyone can "own" land.
You can't really "own" that which you did not create.
Landlords were those who the ruling tyrant wanted to award with an arbitrary edict.
I am a successful landlord because I understand the laws, taxes, and economics, but it is totally unethical.
All I do is provide the credit, and then I can get people to line up in order to buy the property for me.
No one should be forced to rent, and everyone should own their own home, with a few exceptions.

And yet, being able to afford to buy a home is not within the reach of many people, especially the young.

Providing rental homes is not being aristocratic. It is both a business and a service. Providing rental apartments is the same, and is great for people who have no desire to maintain a yard and the exterior of a home. Being able to pay a smaller amount and have someone else responsible for maintenance and repairs is a good idea for many people.

And if you do not pay the rent you get evicted. Just like if you do not pay your mortgage. Should people be able to just stop paying and still live there? And if you have not paid the rent or mortgage, why would you be aggressive towards someone who expects to be paid as you promised?