Protests: Fifty Shades as Glamorizing Domestic Violence

[Darkwind]

BDSM is absolutely NOT about domestic abuse. It is not about one person abusing another, unwilling, person.

So it's okay to beat, degrade, torment, humiliate someone if they agree to the abuse?!

Who are you to say they are abused, degraded, or tormented? More specifically, how it is any business of yours what people do in the privacy of their own dungeons?

I think people want a way to make sure that
what is done in locked dungeons and basements is consensual

And not that kidnapping and rape stuff going on with trafficking,
or like that sick man in Cleveland who raped abducted girls over a period of 10 years
and nobody knew there was anything wrong going on.

People naturally are concerned and want to know that this isn't
the same sickness that needs therapy and/or is criminally suppressed.

Why would they want a way to determine that? The first question to be asked is, of what business is it of anyone but the participants?

 

[Darkwind]

That's why abusers have been able to use "she wanted it" as a get out of jail free card for decades.

It doesn't work that way.

Face it. These kinds of people are abusers who have just found someone confused enough to go along with it. Like I asked the other poster, if they could not find a person to go along with it, would they forget about it and remove it from their sexual repertoire?

So there is no woman out there who is into submissive stuff? Zero?

I'm sorry, but the "poor little girl" thing to me is just as demeaning as asking a woman to make a sandwich.

Lots of women actually. And lots of men too. So much sometimes one has to 'beat' them off with a stick.

*TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!*
Improper use of a pun!
5 yard penalty!
Repeat third post!

(Seriously, dude, that was awful.)

Hey, I was working against a clock....what can I say...

 

[Darkwind]

Everyone seems to be leaving out the one other LARGE elephant in the discussion.



TRUST.

None of this happens without it.

 

[mudwhistle]

Yea

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

Tea Party protesters in the UK.

Who da thunk.

 

[Anathema]

How do you know she isn't smart enough to see his good points and forgive his faults?

He says that he abuses her

I don't abuse her. At the beginning of our relationship 3 years ago I made it quite clear what the Leadership/Decision-Making dynamic would be and the potential consequences of ignoring that dynamic. She agreed. Thankfully there have only been a handful of instances where discipline has been required.

 

[Anathema]

Have you been reading his posts Emily? Women are for cleaning and cooking. They don't need a brain, he says. He says that abuse is not supposed to be for fun but for disciplinary purposes.

You're the one suggesting that being a homemaker is a brainless task, not me. Personally I see it as a task that requires skills, talents and abilities (including a level of intelligence) that few modern Women possess.

There is no abuse. The fact that YOU cannot separate abuse and discipline says something about YOUR intelligence so far as I'm concerned.

 

[Anathema]

Ask him some questions Emily. Ask him. He will come right out and tell you. I've had conversations with him before, so I already know how he feels about women and their "place" in society.

I make no excuses for who and what I am..... A Traditionalist and a Conservative. I have no issues with answering anyone's questions about my life.

 

[Anathema]

Yeah, I have quite a few good qualities and I'm pretty sure if I told my wife that entitled me to use her as a punching bag and she had no right to expect pleasure in the bedroom that she would not care one whit about my good qualities.

Who's using who as a pinching bag? Discipline and abuse are not the same thing.

My wife understands that a woman's place is not worrying about her own pleasure but rather ensuring that she is pleasing to her Husband and deriving her pleasure and enjoyment from that

 

[emilynghiem]

BDSM is absolutely NOT about domestic abuse. It is not about one person abusing another, unwilling, person.

So it's okay to beat, degrade, torment, humiliate someone if they agree to the abuse?!

Who are you to say they are abused, degraded, or tormented? More specifically, how it is any business of yours what people do in the privacy of their own dungeons?

I think people want a way to make sure that
what is done in locked dungeons and basements is consensual

And not that kidnapping and rape stuff going on with trafficking,
or like that sick man in Cleveland who raped abducted girls over a period of 10 years
and nobody knew there was anything wrong going on.

People naturally are concerned and want to know that this isn't
the same sickness that needs therapy and/or is criminally suppressed.

Why would they want a way to determine that? The first question to be asked is, of what business is it of anyone but the participants?

Hi Darkwind

1. the reason people might care, I would look at the concept of interconnectedness by the Zen Buddhists and Bahai and other open spiritualists who believe that what happens to one person affects the whole:
"An injustice to one is an injustice to all"
or in Islam: Killing one innocent person is like killing all of humanity.

Some people have such a heightened sense of conscience that the pain and suffering of others
becomes their own. (I even saw a video of an environmental activist who did the redwood tree sit protest,
explaining that she actually feels the "spirit or voices" of the trees crying out when the forest is destroyed.
She was being ridiculed for this, but I have met Pagan friends who sense and/or see the spirits of life in other
living things. so this is the level they feel an "interconnectedness" with life, whether we believe in it or not.)
some extreme religious followers in older Eastern cultures won't even breathe air without a mask because they don't want to
kill the tiny bacteria or whatever that die when we breathe -- I've seen diverse versions and extremes to this concept.

2. As far as I know there IS no way to check for abuses when it is still in someone's private domain.
The civil and criminal laws require due process and proof before convicting someone of a violation.

What people tend to do is push for outreach campaigns on the prevention side of abuse by education on the signs of abuse:
NOT to tolerate abuse and rape by playing it down as "boys will be boys" but to recognize rape as a crime
and NOT brush it off as less just because of young men's value and opportunity in football, celebrity status, etc.
NOT to cover up child abuse because of school, church or political authority that people are afraid to report against.

Right now there is a heightened push to address rape attitudes from "No More"
and the Cosby accusers coming out, the Vanderbuilt University cases (<--plural) that have exposed
the pushing of frat parties and covering up rape to "entice recruits" by spoiling them with unchecked sex
that has been reported as "hushed up rape," even multiple rapes according to a student journalist from Vanderbilt
who was roommates with such a victim of multiple assaults by the same football team member/recruiter:
COLUMN Turning a blind eye - The Vanderbilt Hustler Sports

Since abuse prevention BEFORE crimes are committed can only be done by FREE CHOICE, I believe that's why people like ChrisL try so hard to be proactive in checking any attitudes in advance from "leading down that path." Only the people involved can "check their own attitudes" by free choice, where it cannot be assumed who is abusive or sick without proof someone's consent was violated as in rape.

If several people know a Poster here to be a psychotically abusive sick person,
I would recommend getting that person help to treat and cure such conditions
(that I understand, from my own research into this, CAN be cured through spiritual healing
by getting to the root cause and 'rooting that out' so any related abusive behavior is healed and stopped)

for public health and safety this would need to be proven by science, by formal research to establish standard medical procedures for screening and diagnosing "dangerous criminal illness" BEFORE someone commits an abuse or crime.
Similar to testing if cancer tumors are benign, malignant, terminal and in What Stage of progression from cureable to inoperable, BEFORE they progress to deadly and irreversible stages.
(and I am proposing to research and develop such a method to detect criminal-level sick conditions that might show up
in the brain and could be tested for dangerous homicidal or stalking/predatory addictions)

Until then, the most people have is personal observation and reporting complaints or threats of abuse.
So that's what media and educational campaigns are focused on, as Chris is trying to do which I support where it is done right.

We haven't yet perfected a prescribed way of either investigating, reporting, or diagnosing what is
truly sick abusive behavior from criminal illness, and what is just "consenting adults agreeing to such activities."

We can't even prove a lot of rape cases right now, either way, so the defense is legally favored with benefit of the doubt.

If more people AGREED that the sick kind of abusive behavior is something we commit to report and not let slide,
then people like Chris would not go overboard in the other direction trying to outguess and police in advance.

I think where we CAN agree here, if everyone has seen that certain Poster(s) are abusive and in need of professional help,
we can be supportive and try to get THAT person help. Since there is at least a consensus of danger signs there.
(Note: where people are so sick they don't and won't get help, the ONLY thing I know that works
is prayer by the same sources who do spiritual healing, they also pray with family and friends for the sick person
to agree to seek help first, and after such people agree, then they pray for the diagnosis of the cause and healing of
the cause and the symptoms. I know of successful cases, but they all depended on prayer because the person was
too sick and refused help.)

We may not agree on how to distinguish the other types or where the threshold is,
but there is Plenty of healing and help needed on the cases we DO agree is abusive.

the cases at Vanderbilt need support from the public for what the students are trying
to do to stop the abuse of recruitment parties to "traffick women for unchecked sex, even gang rape"
as incentive to football players.

the nomore campaign is calling for people in every community to stand together

and the women rallying around the Bill Cosby cases are calling to end the silencing and blaming of victims
(and I would also push for checks against false accusations that hurt the credibility of real rape victims)

 

[emilynghiem]

How do you know she isn't smart enough to see his good points and forgive his faults?

He says that he abuses her

I don't abuse her. At the beginning of our relationship 3 years ago I made it quite clear what the Leadership/Decision-Making dynamic would be and the potential consequences of ignoring that dynamic. She agreed. Thankfully there have only been a handful of instances where discipline has been required.

Can you describe what you mean by discipline? What methods do you use
and why are people on here saying you do things outside the norm, what are they?

 

[emilynghiem]

Everyone seems to be leaving out the one other LARGE elephant in the discussion.



TRUST.

None of this happens without it.

I trust people to tell the truth to the same degree that I allow transparency and enforce it myself.
If I judge and exclude people's experiences and expression, I can't very well expect them to be able to tell the truth if I am going to jump on them for it.

If I don't acknowledge and address my own issues, but I project that as someone else's responsibility to fix theirs, well, both people are going to end up mutually projecting
and protesting back and forth.

So whatever standards I want, the first rule is to follow them myself,
and accept correction from others if I want them to receive my points as well.

It's a mutual exchange, whatever change is going to happen takes a mutual give and take
on both sides. Whatever truth is going to be agreed on between the two depends on both.

 

[September]

I won't deny it. BDSM is totally fucked up. But so is this:

and this

and this

Some fucked up things are just totally worth it!

​

 

[ChrisL]

BDSM is absolutely NOT about domestic abuse. It is not about one person abusing another, unwilling, person.

So it's okay to beat, degrade, torment, humiliate someone if they agree to the abuse?!

Who are you to say they are abused, degraded, or tormented? More specifically, how it is any business of yours what people do in the privacy of their own dungeons?

I think people want a way to make sure that
what is done in locked dungeons and basements is consensual

And not that kidnapping and rape stuff going on with trafficking,
or like that sick man in Cleveland who raped abducted girls over a period of 10 years
and nobody knew there was anything wrong going on.

People naturally are concerned and want to know that this isn't
the same sickness that needs therapy and/or is criminally suppressed.

Why would they want a way to determine that? The first question to be asked is, of what business is it of anyone but the participants?

Hi Darkwind

1. the reason people might care, I would look at the concept of interconnectedness by the Zen Buddhists and Bahai and other open spiritualists who believe that what happens to one person affects the whole:
"An injustice to one is an injustice to all"
or in Islam: Killing one innocent person is like killing all of humanity.

Some people have such a heightened sense of conscience that the pain and suffering of others
becomes their own. (I even saw a video of an environmental activist who did the redwood tree sit protest,
explaining that she actually feels the "spirit or voices" of the trees crying out when the forest is destroyed.
She was being ridiculed for this, but I have met Pagan friends who sense and/or see the spirits of life in other
living things. so this is the level they feel an "interconnectedness" with life, whether we believe in it or not.)
some extreme religious followers in older Eastern cultures won't even breathe air without a mask because they don't want to
kill the tiny bacteria or whatever that die when we breathe -- I've seen diverse versions and extremes to this concept.

2. As far as I know there IS no way to check for abuses when it is still in someone's private domain.
The civil and criminal laws require due process and proof before convicting someone of a violation.

What people tend to do is push for outreach campaigns on the prevention side of abuse by education on the signs of abuse:
NOT to tolerate abuse and rape by playing it down as "boys will be boys" but to recognize rape as a crime
and NOT brush it off as less just because of young men's value and opportunity in football, celebrity status, etc.
NOT to cover up child abuse because of school, church or political authority that people are afraid to report against.

Right now there is a heightened push to address rape attitudes from "No More"
and the Cosby accusers coming out, the Vanderbuilt University cases (<--plural) that have exposed
the pushing of frat parties and covering up rape to "entice recruits" by spoiling them with unchecked sex
that has been reported as "hushed up rape," even multiple rapes according to a student journalist from Vanderbilt
who was roommates with such a victim of multiple assaults by the same football team member/recruiter:
COLUMN Turning a blind eye - The Vanderbilt Hustler Sports

Since abuse prevention BEFORE crimes are committed can only be done by FREE CHOICE, I believe that's why people like ChrisL try so hard to be proactive in checking any attitudes in advance from "leading down that path." Only the people involved can "check their own attitudes" by free choice, where it cannot be assumed who is abusive or sick without proof someone's consent was violated as in rape.

If several people know a Poster here to be a psychotically abusive sick person,
I would recommend getting that person help to treat and cure such conditions
(that I understand, from my own research into this, CAN be cured through spiritual healing
by getting to the root cause and 'rooting that out' so any related abusive behavior is healed and stopped)

for public health and safety this would need to be proven by science, by formal research to establish standard medical procedures for screening and diagnosing "dangerous criminal illness" BEFORE someone commits an abuse or crime.
Similar to testing if cancer tumors are benign, malignant, terminal and in What Stage of progression from cureable to inoperable, BEFORE they progress to deadly and irreversible stages.
(and I am proposing to research and develop such a method to detect criminal-level sick conditions that might show up
in the brain and could be tested for dangerous homicidal or stalking/predatory addictions)

Until then, the most people have is personal observation and reporting complaints or threats of abuse.
So that's what media and educational campaigns are focused on, as Chris is trying to do which I support where it is done right.

We haven't yet perfected a prescribed way of either investigating, reporting, or diagnosing what is
truly sick abusive behavior from criminal illness, and what is just "consenting adults agreeing to such activities."

We can't even prove a lot of rape cases right now, either way, so the defense is legally favored with benefit of the doubt.

If more people AGREED that the sick kind of abusive behavior is something we commit to report and not let slide,
then people like Chris would not go overboard in the other direction trying to outguess and police in advance.

I think where we CAN agree here, if everyone has seen that certain Poster(s) are abusive and in need of professional help,
we can be supportive and try to get THAT person help. Since there is at least a consensus of danger signs there.
(Note: where people are so sick they don't and won't get help, the ONLY thing I know that works
is prayer by the same sources who do spiritual healing, they also pray with family and friends for the sick person
to agree to seek help first, and after such people agree, then they pray for the diagnosis of the cause and healing of
the cause and the symptoms. I know of successful cases, but they all depended on prayer because the person was
too sick and refused help.)

We may not agree on how to distinguish the other types or where the threshold is,
but there is Plenty of healing and help needed on the cases we DO agree is abusive.

the cases at Vanderbilt need support from the public for what the students are trying
to do to stop the abuse of recruitment parties to "traffick women for unchecked sex, even gang rape"
as incentive to football players.

the nomore campaign is calling for people in every community to stand together

and the women rallying around the Bill Cosby cases are calling to end the silencing and blaming of victims
(and I would also push for checks against false accusations that hurt the credibility of real rape victims)

Who is talking about the police? Lol. I just said I think it is sick and the people involved are sick. That is all. Sorry if people find my opinions so upsetting.

 

[ChrisL]

Have you been reading his posts Emily? Women are for cleaning and cooking. They don't need a brain, he says. He says that abuse is not supposed to be for fun but for disciplinary purposes.

You're the one suggesting that being a homemaker is a brainless task, not me. Personally I see it as a task that requires skills, talents and abilities (including a level of intelligence) that few modern Women possess.

There is no abuse. The fact that YOU cannot separate abuse and discipline says something about YOUR intelligence so far as I'm concerned.

That is where you are wrong. I said, again, any woman who would marry you must not have a brain. Lol. Are you getting it yet?

 

[ChrisL]

Everyone seems to be missing my point which has nothing to do with trust or anything else. It is simple really. Here it is: A person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is a sicko, in my opinion. That is it in a nutshell.

 

[ChrisL]

I won't deny it. BDSM is totally fucked up. But so is this:

and this

and this

Some fucked up things are just totally worth it!

​

Interesting, but none of those people are deriving pleasure from causing physical pain to another person.

 

[emilynghiem]

So it's okay to beat, degrade, torment, humiliate someone if they agree to the abuse?!

Who are you to say they are abused, degraded, or tormented? More specifically, how it is any business of yours what people do in the privacy of their own dungeons?

I think people want a way to make sure that
what is done in locked dungeons and basements is consensual

And not that kidnapping and rape stuff going on with trafficking,
or like that sick man in Cleveland who raped abducted girls over a period of 10 years
and nobody knew there was anything wrong going on.

People naturally are concerned and want to know that this isn't
the same sickness that needs therapy and/or is criminally suppressed.

Why would they want a way to determine that? The first question to be asked is, of what business is it of anyone but the participants?

Hi Darkwind

1. the reason people might care, I would look at the concept of interconnectedness by the Zen Buddhists and Bahai and other open spiritualists who believe that what happens to one person affects the whole:
"An injustice to one is an injustice to all"
or in Islam: Killing one innocent person is like killing all of humanity.

Some people have such a heightened sense of conscience that the pain and suffering of others
becomes their own. (I even saw a video of an environmental activist who did the redwood tree sit protest,
explaining that she actually feels the "spirit or voices" of the trees crying out when the forest is destroyed.
She was being ridiculed for this, but I have met Pagan friends who sense and/or see the spirits of life in other
living things. so this is the level they feel an "interconnectedness" with life, whether we believe in it or not.)
some extreme religious followers in older Eastern cultures won't even breathe air without a mask because they don't want to
kill the tiny bacteria or whatever that die when we breathe -- I've seen diverse versions and extremes to this concept.

2. As far as I know there IS no way to check for abuses when it is still in someone's private domain.
The civil and criminal laws require due process and proof before convicting someone of a violation.

What people tend to do is push for outreach campaigns on the prevention side of abuse by education on the signs of abuse:
NOT to tolerate abuse and rape by playing it down as "boys will be boys" but to recognize rape as a crime
and NOT brush it off as less just because of young men's value and opportunity in football, celebrity status, etc.
NOT to cover up child abuse because of school, church or political authority that people are afraid to report against.

Right now there is a heightened push to address rape attitudes from "No More"
and the Cosby accusers coming out, the Vanderbuilt University cases (<--plural) that have exposed
the pushing of frat parties and covering up rape to "entice recruits" by spoiling them with unchecked sex
that has been reported as "hushed up rape," even multiple rapes according to a student journalist from Vanderbilt
who was roommates with such a victim of multiple assaults by the same football team member/recruiter:
COLUMN Turning a blind eye - The Vanderbilt Hustler Sports

Since abuse prevention BEFORE crimes are committed can only be done by FREE CHOICE, I believe that's why people like ChrisL try so hard to be proactive in checking any attitudes in advance from "leading down that path." Only the people involved can "check their own attitudes" by free choice, where it cannot be assumed who is abusive or sick without proof someone's consent was violated as in rape.

If several people know a Poster here to be a psychotically abusive sick person,
I would recommend getting that person help to treat and cure such conditions
(that I understand, from my own research into this, CAN be cured through spiritual healing
by getting to the root cause and 'rooting that out' so any related abusive behavior is healed and stopped)

for public health and safety this would need to be proven by science, by formal research to establish standard medical procedures for screening and diagnosing "dangerous criminal illness" BEFORE someone commits an abuse or crime.
Similar to testing if cancer tumors are benign, malignant, terminal and in What Stage of progression from cureable to inoperable, BEFORE they progress to deadly and irreversible stages.
(and I am proposing to research and develop such a method to detect criminal-level sick conditions that might show up
in the brain and could be tested for dangerous homicidal or stalking/predatory addictions)

Until then, the most people have is personal observation and reporting complaints or threats of abuse.
So that's what media and educational campaigns are focused on, as Chris is trying to do which I support where it is done right.

We haven't yet perfected a prescribed way of either investigating, reporting, or diagnosing what is
truly sick abusive behavior from criminal illness, and what is just "consenting adults agreeing to such activities."

We can't even prove a lot of rape cases right now, either way, so the defense is legally favored with benefit of the doubt.

If more people AGREED that the sick kind of abusive behavior is something we commit to report and not let slide,
then people like Chris would not go overboard in the other direction trying to outguess and police in advance.

I think where we CAN agree here, if everyone has seen that certain Poster(s) are abusive and in need of professional help,
we can be supportive and try to get THAT person help. Since there is at least a consensus of danger signs there.
(Note: where people are so sick they don't and won't get help, the ONLY thing I know that works
is prayer by the same sources who do spiritual healing, they also pray with family and friends for the sick person
to agree to seek help first, and after such people agree, then they pray for the diagnosis of the cause and healing of
the cause and the symptoms. I know of successful cases, but they all depended on prayer because the person was
too sick and refused help.)

We may not agree on how to distinguish the other types or where the threshold is,
but there is Plenty of healing and help needed on the cases we DO agree is abusive.

the cases at Vanderbilt need support from the public for what the students are trying
to do to stop the abuse of recruitment parties to "traffick women for unchecked sex, even gang rape"
as incentive to football players.

the nomore campaign is calling for people in every community to stand together

and the women rallying around the Bill Cosby cases are calling to end the silencing and blaming of victims
(and I would also push for checks against false accusations that hurt the credibility of real rape victims)

Who is talking about the police? Lol. I just said I think it is sick and the people involved are sick. That is all. Sorry if people find my opinions so upsetting.

I mean personal policing, sorry.

 

[ChrisL]

Who are you to say they are abused, degraded, or tormented? More specifically, how it is any business of yours what people do in the privacy of their own dungeons?

I think people want a way to make sure that
what is done in locked dungeons and basements is consensual

And not that kidnapping and rape stuff going on with trafficking,
or like that sick man in Cleveland who raped abducted girls over a period of 10 years
and nobody knew there was anything wrong going on.

People naturally are concerned and want to know that this isn't
the same sickness that needs therapy and/or is criminally suppressed.

Why would they want a way to determine that? The first question to be asked is, of what business is it of anyone but the participants?

Hi Darkwind

1. the reason people might care, I would look at the concept of interconnectedness by the Zen Buddhists and Bahai and other open spiritualists who believe that what happens to one person affects the whole:
"An injustice to one is an injustice to all"
or in Islam: Killing one innocent person is like killing all of humanity.

Some people have such a heightened sense of conscience that the pain and suffering of others
becomes their own. (I even saw a video of an environmental activist who did the redwood tree sit protest,
explaining that she actually feels the "spirit or voices" of the trees crying out when the forest is destroyed.
She was being ridiculed for this, but I have met Pagan friends who sense and/or see the spirits of life in other
living things. so this is the level they feel an "interconnectedness" with life, whether we believe in it or not.)
some extreme religious followers in older Eastern cultures won't even breathe air without a mask because they don't want to
kill the tiny bacteria or whatever that die when we breathe -- I've seen diverse versions and extremes to this concept.

2. As far as I know there IS no way to check for abuses when it is still in someone's private domain.
The civil and criminal laws require due process and proof before convicting someone of a violation.

What people tend to do is push for outreach campaigns on the prevention side of abuse by education on the signs of abuse:
NOT to tolerate abuse and rape by playing it down as "boys will be boys" but to recognize rape as a crime
and NOT brush it off as less just because of young men's value and opportunity in football, celebrity status, etc.
NOT to cover up child abuse because of school, church or political authority that people are afraid to report against.

Right now there is a heightened push to address rape attitudes from "No More"
and the Cosby accusers coming out, the Vanderbuilt University cases (<--plural) that have exposed
the pushing of frat parties and covering up rape to "entice recruits" by spoiling them with unchecked sex
that has been reported as "hushed up rape," even multiple rapes according to a student journalist from Vanderbilt
who was roommates with such a victim of multiple assaults by the same football team member/recruiter:
COLUMN Turning a blind eye - The Vanderbilt Hustler Sports

Since abuse prevention BEFORE crimes are committed can only be done by FREE CHOICE, I believe that's why people like ChrisL try so hard to be proactive in checking any attitudes in advance from "leading down that path." Only the people involved can "check their own attitudes" by free choice, where it cannot be assumed who is abusive or sick without proof someone's consent was violated as in rape.

If several people know a Poster here to be a psychotically abusive sick person,
I would recommend getting that person help to treat and cure such conditions
(that I understand, from my own research into this, CAN be cured through spiritual healing
by getting to the root cause and 'rooting that out' so any related abusive behavior is healed and stopped)

for public health and safety this would need to be proven by science, by formal research to establish standard medical procedures for screening and diagnosing "dangerous criminal illness" BEFORE someone commits an abuse or crime.
Similar to testing if cancer tumors are benign, malignant, terminal and in What Stage of progression from cureable to inoperable, BEFORE they progress to deadly and irreversible stages.
(and I am proposing to research and develop such a method to detect criminal-level sick conditions that might show up
in the brain and could be tested for dangerous homicidal or stalking/predatory addictions)

Until then, the most people have is personal observation and reporting complaints or threats of abuse.
So that's what media and educational campaigns are focused on, as Chris is trying to do which I support where it is done right.

We haven't yet perfected a prescribed way of either investigating, reporting, or diagnosing what is
truly sick abusive behavior from criminal illness, and what is just "consenting adults agreeing to such activities."

We can't even prove a lot of rape cases right now, either way, so the defense is legally favored with benefit of the doubt.

If more people AGREED that the sick kind of abusive behavior is something we commit to report and not let slide,
then people like Chris would not go overboard in the other direction trying to outguess and police in advance.

I think where we CAN agree here, if everyone has seen that certain Poster(s) are abusive and in need of professional help,
we can be supportive and try to get THAT person help. Since there is at least a consensus of danger signs there.
(Note: where people are so sick they don't and won't get help, the ONLY thing I know that works
is prayer by the same sources who do spiritual healing, they also pray with family and friends for the sick person
to agree to seek help first, and after such people agree, then they pray for the diagnosis of the cause and healing of
the cause and the symptoms. I know of successful cases, but they all depended on prayer because the person was
too sick and refused help.)

We may not agree on how to distinguish the other types or where the threshold is,
but there is Plenty of healing and help needed on the cases we DO agree is abusive.

the cases at Vanderbilt need support from the public for what the students are trying
to do to stop the abuse of recruitment parties to "traffick women for unchecked sex, even gang rape"
as incentive to football players.

the nomore campaign is calling for people in every community to stand together

and the women rallying around the Bill Cosby cases are calling to end the silencing and blaming of victims
(and I would also push for checks against false accusations that hurt the credibility of real rape victims)

Who is talking about the police? Lol. I just said I think it is sick and the people involved are sick. That is all. Sorry if people find my opinions so upsetting.

I mean personal policing, sorry.

I'm not personal policing. I am stating my opinion on this subject matter. That is what the forum is for.

 

[emilynghiem]

Everyone seems to be missing my point which has nothing to do with trust or anything else. It is simple really. Here it is: A person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is a sicko, in my opinion. That is it in a nutshell.

But it's okay to watch snuff porn and movies that depict this or is that sick also?
Where do you draw the line?
Are fictionalized movies okay as entertainment but not reality/real life snuff or real life abuse?

 

[ChrisL]

Not once did I say a person cannot do this. I said that, in my opinion, people who participate in this kind of thing are not playing with a full deck and would people I would avoid in real life. Obviously, some people are taking my opinions to heart and getting very angry at me about it. Well, too bad. It is a free country still, right? This board is for expressing our opinions.