Protests: Fifty Shades as Glamorizing Domestic Violence

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

Like I said. No woman with a brain would ever marry a person like you.

So you're suggesting that being a stay at home homemaker requires no intelligence or skill? If you say so. I totally disagree but that won't surprise either of us.

I am suggesting that any woman who would marry a person like you must not have much for brains.

How do you know she isn't smart enough to see his good points and forgive his faults?

Near as I can tell...he has no good points. He is a borderline-psychotic nut and should probably be locked up.

Yeah, I have quite a few good qualities and I'm pretty sure if I told my wife that entitled me to use her as a punching bag and she had no right to expect pleasure in the bedroom that she would not care one whit about my good qualities.

 

[ChrisL]

Bullshit, *****. I am arguing my point, just like you.

Ok ChrisL let's use ^ this point as an example. ^

1. This can be seen as "verbally abusive" to say BS, Beeatch etc.
to someone whether it is intended as venting for healing purposes
or it's meant to have a negative effect on the other or both.

But most people will agree that the people involved consented to it.
Even asked for it, and gave it right back. So it's mutual. Right?

My Buddhist mother might say this is a form of violence and not acceptable.

That it indicates something emotionally disturbed and not at peace
or perfect with that person, regardless if both were involved.
If this was happening at the workplace it would be abuse and harassment.

So can you see how this can be relative.

So someone else could jump in your face and say all
mean spirited cursing is verbal abuse and indicates
something wrong with that person. Would you agree?

2. Are you trying to force your view, force someone to acknowledge it
"against their will" and without their understanding to choose it freely?

Is this not seeking to coerce (with emotions attached) or push an opinion
they don't understand, and make them "respond a certain way
that YOU want" in order to get your approval.

So can this be seen as nonconsensual?
And NOT "nonviolent" because it is not respecting the
consent or bounds of the other person?

1, 2
either way, the point is not to push or deny one view or the other.

My point is that even in these conversations, we are mimicking the
process of either respecting the yes/no consent of the other person,
and/or pressuring or coercing to change how they think or respond,
and the verbal insults going back and forth could be seen as abusive and signs of emotional imbalance
that needs to be addressed before calling this nonviolent and nonabusive.

To some people it is.

So if your goal is to reach agreement without emotional insults,
then this conversation is not by your consent, yet you are engaging in it.

So if your point is to TEACH respect for consent and boundaries,
shouldn't the conversation itself respect consent and boundaries
and not push with emotional coercion and not involve insults that aren't really what is wanted here

Okay Emily. I'll try to be more kind.

 

[ChrisL]

^^^

Of course, that will mean having to ignore some posters completely. Lol. I just cannot tolerate some people.

I am, however, going to state my opinion again. I think a person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is one fucked up individual and a person I would not have anything to do with. Why would I want to be in a relationship with a person who LIKES to hurt me? That is just really messed up me.

 

[Anathema]

I am suggesting that any woman who would marry a person like you must not have much for brains.

Then we obviously have differing opinions on how much brainpower a woman should have.

 

[ChrisL]

Good Lord, if that isn't sick and a sign of a mentally or emotionally unstable individual who should be avoided, I don't know WHAT is. Lol.

I'd much rather deal with someone in a BDSM relationship (on either side of it) than a self-righteous, judgmental twit.

Hey, that's my opinion. Don't like it? Too bad. I'm entitled to my OWN opinions. There is nothing self-righteous about it. I think that a person who would get off on causing me pain is a douchebag.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

^^^

Of course, that will mean having to ignore some posters completely. Lol. I just cannot tolerate some people.

I am, however, going to state my opinion again. I think a person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is one fucked up individual and a person I would not have anything to do with. Why would I want to be in a relationship with a person who LIKES to hurt me? That is just really messed up me.

Has anyone in this thread asked you to be in such a relationship? I mean seriously? The answer is of course no, nor has anyone suggested that you are fucked up for not wanting to be.

Stop trying to tell others what they should and should not enjoy in sex

 

[ChrisL]

It's about consent. Simply because you have no knowledge of it, does not make it abuse.

It also requires a level of trust that many vanilla do not encounter once in their life time.


Once you get into the beating, it's about endorphins.

I disagree. It is glorified violence. Like I said, a lot of people who were abused as children confuse violence and abuse with affection and love. They are not healthy functioning people. Abusing them and calling it "sex" is wrong.

You're making the assumption that kinksters were abused as children. You have no data that supports this. None. It's high theater. They are not only healthy and functioning people there is an entire network nationally that supports kinksters, including attorneys. You just don't like it. That's fine.
The Kink Aware Professionals Directory

Ok Disir so similar with homosexuals and transgender who weren't all abused as children.

Why not conduct a study on spiritual healing, with voluntary participation by self-chosen subjects, and see how many of these people change their behavior or not?

Some of the healing goes into "generational" issues before their current family and environment, sort of like inheriting things genetically but this is either psychological or spiritual and not always genetically traceable.

Spiritual healing addresses those levels, too, not just immediate influences and relations
but unconscious patterns people may not know they carry from the past. Buddhists call this karma, Christians call it generational curses or sins, but the healing methods I know that work on recovering addicts and abuse victims go deeper in the spirit. Even the secular methods for healing racism recognize the spiritual wounds carried from previous generations, such as genocide against Native Americans and blacks that manifests as anger and abuse in later generations not directly connected.

Why not study this before assuming that it's natural for people?
What if it is like alcoholic addiction or tendencies that is inherited and part of someone's makeup but it can be healed and not permanent?

I, for one, do not think it is natural at all. To me, sex should be about pleasuring each other, not causing each other pain, welts and bruises. Lol. I prefer pleasurable sex that feels good.

One more time: for some people, pleasure comes from pain.

Yup, fucked up people with issues.

 

[ChrisL]

^^^

Of course, that will mean having to ignore some posters completely. Lol. I just cannot tolerate some people.

I am, however, going to state my opinion again. I think a person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is one fucked up individual and a person I would not have anything to do with. Why would I want to be in a relationship with a person who LIKES to hurt me? That is just really messed up me.

Has anyone in this thread asked you to be in such a relationship? I mean seriously? The answer is of course no, nor has anyone suggested that you are fucked up for not wanting to be.

Stop trying to tell others what they should and should not enjoy in sex

That's not sex. It's a form of abuse. And yes, I CAN state my opinions here. Doesn't matter if you don't like it. You can disagree and that is all you can do.

 

[ChrisL]

Meh, I still say the person who does the abusing has some serious issues. To ENJOY inflicting pain on others? That's just messed up, no matter what the "others" say.

Serious question: would you say a tattoo artist is also "messed up"?

Does he enjoy the pain he causes? Does he cum when he's giving a tattoo? Lol.

 

[ChrisL]

I wouldn't think it's a partisan thing. I think instead it's a tunnel-vision thing. People don't consider the bigger picture and only see the acts like Chris only sees some guy hitting some gal. She doesn't see the fact that the gal can tell the guy to stop at any moment as with "safe words" these people utilize. Nor she seem to see the reality of "abuse" not having a safe-word to make it stop.

I will say this though, there is definitely a line.

If a woman is willing to consent to being punched so hard that she is actually physically harmed, I would contend that that woman is mentally incapable of consenting to anything.

I've never actually seen nor heard of 'punches' being used. Its not that kind of physicality. At worst, a crop or whip will leave a welt. I've never seen one render someone unconscious unless they were into auto-erotic asphyxiation, which really isn't part of the BDSM genre...

Yes it is. That is included under bondage.

No, it really isn't...you are either ignorant or lying.

Yes it is. Lol.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

^^^

Of course, that will mean having to ignore some posters completely. Lol. I just cannot tolerate some people.

I am, however, going to state my opinion again. I think a person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is one fucked up individual and a person I would not have anything to do with. Why would I want to be in a relationship with a person who LIKES to hurt me? That is just really messed up me.

Has anyone in this thread asked you to be in such a relationship? I mean seriously? The answer is of course no, nor has anyone suggested that you are fucked up for not wanting to be.

Stop trying to tell others what they should and should not enjoy in sex

That's not sex. It's a form of abuse. And yes, I CAN state my opinions here. Doesn't matter if you don't like it. You can disagree and that is all you can do.

Where did I say you can't state your opinion? You see how this work? You thin they are fucked up for enjoying mild pain, I think you are fucked up for judging what they should enjoy

 

[ChrisL]

^^^

Of course, that will mean having to ignore some posters completely. Lol. I just cannot tolerate some people.

I am, however, going to state my opinion again. I think a person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is one fucked up individual and a person I would not have anything to do with. Why would I want to be in a relationship with a person who LIKES to hurt me? That is just really messed up me.

Has anyone in this thread asked you to be in such a relationship? I mean seriously? The answer is of course no, nor has anyone suggested that you are fucked up for not wanting to be.

Stop trying to tell others what they should and should not enjoy in sex

That's not sex. It's a form of abuse. And yes, I CAN state my opinions here. Doesn't matter if you don't like it. You can disagree and that is all you can do.

Where did I say you can't state your opinion? You see how this work? You thin they are fucked up for enjoying mild pain, I think you are fucked up for judging what they should enjoy

I can have my opinion. It is my opinion that such people are fucked in the head. I don't care what you think. I really, really don't.

 

[ChrisL]

^^^

Of course, that will mean having to ignore some posters completely. Lol. I just cannot tolerate some people.

I am, however, going to state my opinion again. I think a person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is one fucked up individual and a person I would not have anything to do with. Why would I want to be in a relationship with a person who LIKES to hurt me? That is just really messed up me.

Has anyone in this thread asked you to be in such a relationship? I mean seriously? The answer is of course no, nor has anyone suggested that you are fucked up for not wanting to be.

Stop trying to tell others what they should and should not enjoy in sex

That's not sex. It's a form of abuse. And yes, I CAN state my opinions here. Doesn't matter if you don't like it. You can disagree and that is all you can do.

Where did I say you can't state your opinion? You see how this work? You thin they are fucked up for enjoying mild pain, I think you are fucked up for judging what they should enjoy

Lol. This coming from a guy who thinks NUDITY is a form of abuse. Oh geez, now I've heard it ALL. Hilarious.

 

[ChrisL]

^^^

Of course, that will mean having to ignore some posters completely. Lol. I just cannot tolerate some people.

I am, however, going to state my opinion again. I think a person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is one fucked up individual and a person I would not have anything to do with. Why would I want to be in a relationship with a person who LIKES to hurt me? That is just really messed up me.

Has anyone in this thread asked you to be in such a relationship? I mean seriously? The answer is of course no, nor has anyone suggested that you are fucked up for not wanting to be.

Stop trying to tell others what they should and should not enjoy in sex

That's not sex. It's a form of abuse. And yes, I CAN state my opinions here. Doesn't matter if you don't like it. You can disagree and that is all you can do.

Where did I say you can't state your opinion? You see how this work? You thin they are fucked up for enjoying mild pain, I think you are fucked up for judging what they should enjoy

Hey, weren't you accusing another poster of being abusive for being naked in front of his family? Lol. You're funny.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

^^^

Of course, that will mean having to ignore some posters completely. Lol. I just cannot tolerate some people.

I am, however, going to state my opinion again. I think a person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is one fucked up individual and a person I would not have anything to do with. Why would I want to be in a relationship with a person who LIKES to hurt me? That is just really messed up me.

Has anyone in this thread asked you to be in such a relationship? I mean seriously? The answer is of course no, nor has anyone suggested that you are fucked up for not wanting to be.

Stop trying to tell others what they should and should not enjoy in sex

That's not sex. It's a form of abuse. And yes, I CAN state my opinions here. Doesn't matter if you don't like it. You can disagree and that is all you can do.

Where did I say you can't state your opinion? You see how this work? You thin they are fucked up for enjoying mild pain, I think you are fucked up for judging what they should enjoy

Lol. This coming from a guy who thinks NUDITY is a form of abuse. Oh geez, now I've heard it ALL. Hilarious.

I don't think nudity is abuse. I think consistently being naked in front of your kids is abuse.

Sort of like, I don't think chocolate is abuse either, but if you force fed your kids chocolate all day long every day, yes that would be abuse.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

ChrisL is one stupid ************, can't even tell the difference between a child and a consenting adult

 

[ChrisL]

^^^

Of course, that will mean having to ignore some posters completely. Lol. I just cannot tolerate some people.

I am, however, going to state my opinion again. I think a person who derives pleasure from another person's pain is one fucked up individual and a person I would not have anything to do with. Why would I want to be in a relationship with a person who LIKES to hurt me? That is just really messed up me.

Has anyone in this thread asked you to be in such a relationship? I mean seriously? The answer is of course no, nor has anyone suggested that you are fucked up for not wanting to be.

Stop trying to tell others what they should and should not enjoy in sex

That's not sex. It's a form of abuse. And yes, I CAN state my opinions here. Doesn't matter if you don't like it. You can disagree and that is all you can do.

Where did I say you can't state your opinion? You see how this work? You thin they are fucked up for enjoying mild pain, I think you are fucked up for judging what they should enjoy

Lol. This coming from a guy who thinks NUDITY is a form of abuse. Oh geez, now I've heard it ALL. Hilarious.

I don't think nudity is abuse. I think consistently being naked in front of your kids is abuse.

Sort of like, I don't think chocolate is abuse either, but if you force fed your kids chocolate all day long every day, yes that would be abuse.

So, you can accuse people of abuse for being nude in front of their kids, but I am messed up for accusing people of abuse who actually hit and hurt their partner? Okay . . .

 

[ChrisL]

ChrisL is one stupid ************, can't even tell the difference between a child and a consenting adult

Of course I can. I can also tell the difference between abuse and nudity.

 

[ChrisL]

ChrisL is one stupid ************, can't even tell the difference between a child and a consenting adult

Don't like it when your hypocrisy is pointed out, eh? Lol. I think it's hilarious.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

ChrisL is one stupid ************, can't even tell the difference between a child and a consenting adult

Don't like it when your hypocrisy is pointed out, eh? Lol. I think it's hilarious.

what hypocrisy?