Poll finds most Americans would swap democracy for a $100 Best Buy gift card

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON—According to the results of a new poll released Thursday by the Pew Research Center, the majority of Americans would swap democracy for a $100 Best Buy gift card.​

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“Our research found that 72% of Americans would agree to give up all free and fair elections in the U.S. forever in exchange for a $100 certificate they could use to purchase a new Bluetooth speaker or couple Keurig coffee makers,” said Pew pollster Dana Felder, who noted that an overwhelming 90% of Americans stated that they would eagerly surrender their First Amendment rights without a second thought for a chance to rummage the bin of discounted DVDs and Blu-rays at the front of the store.​

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“Sixty-five percent of the survey respondents stated that they would choose to live in an autocracy as long as they received free shipping, and another 55% of Americans responded that they would gladly abandon democracy for as little as a 15% off coupon from Bed, Bath, & Beyond.​

​

The remaining 28% of Americans who said they would not swap democracy stated they would only do so for a gift certificate to a nice local bakery.” At press time, Felder confirmed that the results were the highest they’d been since 1996 when 80% of Americans stated that they would live under an Islamic theocracy in exchange for a $50 gift card to Radio Shack.​

Poll Finds Most Americans Would Swap Democracy For $100 Best Buy Gift Card

WASHINGTON—According to the results of a new poll released Thursday by the Pew Research Center, the majority of Americans would swap democracy for a $100 Best Buy gift card. “Our research found that 72% of Americans would agree to give up all free and fair elections in the U.S. forever in...

www.theonion.com

 

[Moonglow]

I would even though Best Buy SUCKS!

 

[Synthaholic]

Until I got to the sentence about the bakery I absolutely thought this was real. Because Trumpers ARE that stupid.

 

[Moonglow]

The Geek Squad is nothing more than tech college drop outs...

 

[Otis Mayfield]

WASHINGTON—According to the results of a new poll released Thursday by the Pew Research Center, the majority of Americans would swap democracy for a $100 Best Buy gift card.​

​

“Our research found that 72% of Americans would agree to give up all free and fair elections in the U.S. forever in exchange for a $100 certificate they could use to purchase a new Bluetooth speaker or couple Keurig coffee makers,” said Pew pollster Dana Felder, who noted that an overwhelming 90% of Americans stated that they would eagerly surrender their First Amendment rights without a second thought for a chance to rummage the bin of discounted DVDs and Blu-rays at the front of the store.​

​

“Sixty-five percent of the survey respondents stated that they would choose to live in an autocracy as long as they received free shipping, and another 55% of Americans responded that they would gladly abandon democracy for as little as a 15% off coupon from Bed, Bath, & Beyond.​

​

The remaining 28% of Americans who said they would not swap democracy stated they would only do so for a gift certificate to a nice local bakery.” At press time, Felder confirmed that the results were the highest they’d been since 1996 when 80% of Americans stated that they would live under an Islamic theocracy in exchange for a $50 gift card to Radio Shack.​

Poll Finds Most Americans Would Swap Democracy For $100 Best Buy Gift Card

WASHINGTON—According to the results of a new poll released Thursday by the Pew Research Center, the majority of Americans would swap democracy for a $100 Best Buy gift card. “Our research found that 72% of Americans would agree to give up all free and fair elections in the U.S. forever in...

www.theonion.com

"The Onion" is a much better source than half the sources you find on this website.

 

[DrLove]

Until I got to the sentence about the bakery I absolutely thought this was real. Because Trumpers ARE that stupid.

Even I might be tempted to swap democracy for a lifetime supply of apple fritters.

 

[Moonglow]

Even I might be tempted to swap democracy for a lifetime supply of apple fritters.

Not from McD's!!

 

[9thIDdoc]

The Onion? Really? Bogus news.

 

[DrLove]

Not from McD's!!

Those are "Apple Pies" and yeah, they suck pretty hard.

 

[Moonglow]

Those are "Apple Pies" and yeah, they suck pretty hard.

Do they need to be folded in a half full moon shape to make them better?

 

[DrLove]

The Onion? Really? Bogus news.

Well of course it's bogus news. That's how satire works Loony Bird.
Please sir, may I have some more Gateway Pundit?

 

[Moonglow]

Well of course it's bogus news. That's how satire works Loony Bird.
Please sir, may I have some more Gateway Pundit?

He's a seriouz dude.

 

[DrLove]

Do they need to be folded in a half full moon shape to make them better?

There is no saving a McDonalds Apple Pie.
Apple fritters are probably the ugliest pastry on the planet.
But fairly delicious - especially warm and super-fresh!