Pelosi Cancels Taiwan Trip Over Fears of China's Newly Developed Vodka-Seeking Missile

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Pelosi Cancels Taiwan Trip Over Fears of China's Newly Developed Vodka-Seeking Missile
1 Aug 2022

WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has been forced to cancel her planned flight to Taiwan after China announced they have developed deadly surface-to-air vodka-seeking missiles.
"Your politician lady will never get past the awesome might of our XA-12 People's Liberation Army Martini Maimers!" said CCP General Xu Xian Xong. "We dare you to try! Hahahahaha!"

"We were going to continue the trip as planned until China's very serious threat," said a State Department official. "Speaker Pelosi's blood vodka levels are higher than any known American, making it impossible to evade a deadly missile barrage. Plus, she is extremely flammable. It wouldn't be a pretty sight."
Pelosi's team is considering several safer options for her trip, including using Zoom, investing millions in CCP-owned companies in exchange for safe passage, and having her fly below SAM radar on her broomstick.
"I will nobbeee intimidated by Chinese threats," slurred Pelosi while chugging Tito's directly from the bottle. "Muh fooshuuuuuu blarmgiddle. Good morning, Sunday morning."
At publishing time, the CCP also warned Hunter Biden about trying to get past their array of crack-seekers.

Commentary"
I was hoping she’d take a couple senators with her.
We're all mistaken. Nancy didn't say she's going to Taiwan but actually she’s going to ‘Tie One On’.
98b39e852989b93353e0f75847f1d789.jpg
 
Pelosi Cancels Taiwan Trip Over Fears of China's Newly Developed Vodka-Seeking Missile
1 Aug 2022

WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has been forced to cancel her planned flight to Taiwan after China announced they have developed deadly surface-to-air vodka-seeking missiles.
"Your politician lady will never get past the awesome might of our XA-12 People's Liberation Army Martini Maimers!" said CCP General Xu Xian Xong. "We dare you to try! Hahahahaha!"

"We were going to continue the trip as planned until China's very serious threat," said a State Department official. "Speaker Pelosi's blood vodka levels are higher than any known American, making it impossible to evade a deadly missile barrage. Plus, she is extremely flammable. It wouldn't be a pretty sight."
Pelosi's team is considering several safer options for her trip, including using Zoom, investing millions in CCP-owned companies in exchange for safe passage, and having her fly below SAM radar on her broomstick.
"I will nobbeee intimidated by Chinese threats," slurred Pelosi while chugging Tito's directly from the bottle. "Muh fooshuuuuuu blarmgiddle. Good morning, Sunday morning."
At publishing time, the CCP also warned Hunter Biden about trying to get past their array of crack-seekers.

Commentary"
I was hoping she’d take a couple senators with her.
We're all mistaken. Nancy didn't say she's going to Taiwan but actually she’s going to ‘Tie One On’.
98b39e852989b93353e0f75847f1d789.jpg
Considering all the threads on this topic, are we seeing the start of a PDS epidemic? :cool:
 
Huge mistake... maybe the biggest blunder of this administration yet and that's saying something....
 
Taiwan is toast and so is our super power status if we don't get Trump back in office.....
 

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