1. In my youth I wanted so badly to fit in. I wanted to be a regular black kid like the other black kids. The problem was, as was pointed out in my eighth grade English class: “He talk like a white boy!”
2. My best friend lived in a white neighborhood and had the same debilitation: correct usage, impeccable diction, large vocabulary. Woe is us. So, for a week of so, we tried. We spent the entire week calling each other *******. “Nigga, please!” and “Nigga, whatchu talkin’ ‘bout.” But our proper English kept getting in the way, and the experiment failed.
3. IÂ’m certain that my life would have been different had I kept trying. One thing is certain, I would have has greater success with women! Talking like a white boy hit me most often where it counts- my ability to get nookie. I discovered, much to my chagrin, that black women are highly sensitive to the Not Black Enough Syndrome. Black women like the jive talk.
4. It is an actual syndrome. Not only have I lived it, but it is also documented in the book “Black Rage,” written by two black psychiatrists, William H. Grier and Price M. Cobbs. Page 127: “A group of black men was asked to describe their techniques of seduction. Without exception, each one said that at a crucial point he reverted to the patois. Black women said they experienced an intensification of excitement when their lovers reverted to the ‘old language.’”
a. Of course, it had been pointed out in the eighth grade, I don’t have the patois. I fell to my knees and pleaded with God: “WHY? WHY DON’T I HAVE THE PATOIS??”
b. They go on to say: “For the black man in the United States, the boudoir is a field of combat in which rightfully or not he is deemed by his society pre-eminent. His use of patois,…may dramatically highlight an already heroic presence.”
5. Need proof? I dated Robin Givens years before she was Robin Givens. I was laying down my best stuff, wore my good cologne, told my best jokes trying to sound sophisticated. Even got in good with her mother. Nothing. Years later she married Mike Tyson. Later, I heard her on a radio interview with Howard Stern, talking about how she loves really thuggish black guys. What a gyp! I go to school, stay out of trouble, really try to make something of myself, but the street thug gets to make love to Robin Givens.
6. Well, I refuse to fake the funk for anyone. Even Robin Givens. Now, as an actor, I can fake the sound and syntax, the turn of phrase, the inflection, if a part requires it. But, it is not my normal way of speaking. Hardly a week goes by without someone commenting on my ‘proper’ speech. In fact, an actor I worked with reminded him of a professor he had in Trinidad, and he swore that one day, the professor waded out too far in the ocean, and, instead of hollering “Help! Help!,” he called out “Excuse me, may I have some assistance please?”
7. Fortunately there is a happy ending. Years after rebounding from the Givens snub, I met and fell in love with a pretty young black woman with red hair and freckles, who would become my wife. Oddly enough, while we were dating, I would speak to her on the phone, and find myself thinking, “She talk like a white girl.”
It was a match made in heaven.
The above from Joseph C. Phillips' book "He Talk Like A White Boy"
I hope that the above serves as education and a cautionary tale for our Liberal friends:
all black people are not the same.
Nor must they be ground to dust if they don't fit your political perspective.
I re-read this.....
Seriously you give credibility to a guy that dated Robin Givens?? LOL #FAIL
I'd be happy to entertain a serious debate.....
...as for your post, as it stands, it is exactly what Phillips is railing against.
"Seriously you give credibility to..."
"Joseph is perhaps best known for the role of Lt. Martin Kendall, Lisa BonetÂ’s husband, on the hit series The Cosby Show. He was also a three time NAACP Image Award Nominee for his portrayal of Attorney Justus Ward on the Daytime Drama General Hospital. For two seasons he appeared as Mayor Morgan Douglas on the CBS series The District, recurred as Marcus Johnson on the hit CBS series Without A Trace and most recently appeared as JT Morse on the Fox Series, Vanished. He has had guest starring roles on C.S.I., Las Vegas, Jack and Bobby, The King of Queens, Judging Amy, Family Law, Martin, The Larry Sanders Show, City of Angeles, Any Day Now, The Parkers, Popular, V.I.P. and Living Single among others.
His feature film credits include starring roles in Strictly Business, LetÂ’s Talk About Sex and Midnight Blue. PhillipsÂ’ many theatrical credits include starring roles in the Broadway production of Six Degrees of Separation, the Kennedy Center and American Playhouse productions of A Raisin in the Sun, starring Danny Glover and Esther Rolle, and the off- Broadway production of Coriolanus with Christopher Walken and Irene Worth. Mr. Phillips also had the honor of creating the title role in Dreaming Emmett, Pulitzer and Nobel Prize winning author Toni MorrisonÂ’s only theatrical play. JosephÂ’s solo performance piece, Professor Lombooza Lomboo was a featured production at the 12th annual National Black Theatre Festival and the 2001 Minnesota Fringe Festival.
Mr. Phillips is also a syndicated columnist. His column “The Way I see It” appears weekly in more than 30 publications across the country including The Columbus Post, The Los Angeles Wave, Akron Reporter, The Michigan Chronicle, The Michigan Front Page, The Chicago Defender, the New Pittsburgh Courier, The Tri-State Defender, Long Beach Times, The Atlanta Daily World, Miami Times, Tempo News and the web daily’s Blackamericatoday.com, Blacknews.com, EURweb.com, attackmachine.com, Netlistings.com, Michaellwilliams.com, JewishWorldReview.com, BlackAmericasWeb.com and PoliticalVanguard.com. His essays have been published in Newsweek, Los Angeles Daily News, Essence Magazine, Upscale, USA Today, Turning Point, College Digest, BET.com and the Indianapolis Recorder. Joseph has also contributed commentary to Paula Zhan, BET Tonight, BET Nightly News, The Dennis Miller Show, America’s Black Forum, was for 3 years a regular commentator on National Public Radio’s the Tavis Smiley Show and currently appears as a regular commentator on NPR’s News and Notes and American Urban Radio Networks Straight Talk. His first book, “He Talk Like a White Boy,” is currently available wherever books are sold.
Acting and writing are just two of JosephÂ’s many passions. His interest in community service has led to Mr. Phillips involvement with the Special Olympics, The Green Chimneys Foundation, of which he was an advisory board member, The Red Cross and the Big Brothers of Greater Los Angeles. Phillips is an ambassador for the Sickle Cell Disease Association of America and is the face of Project Alpha for the March of Dimes.
He has been a visiting speaker for organizations such as Young Americas Foundation, The Leon H. Sullivan Foundation, Central State University, Columbus State Community College, Orange County Black Chamber of Commerce, California Community Renewal Summit, California Pro-Life, Manhattan Institute for Policy Research, Black AmericaÂ’s Political Action Committee, Council for African-American Republican Leadership, Colorado Sickle Cell Foundation, Sickle Cell Disease Association of America, The United States Post Office, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. Youngstown University, California State University At Northridge, Towson State University, Pepperdine University, The Green ChimneyÂ’s Foundation, Los Angeles Boys and Girls Club, Fullerton College, The Chicago Black Expo, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, Mountain View Community Church Elections Forum and at elementary and primary schools across the country.
Mr. Phillips has taught acting workshops at the National Black Theatre Festival, The College of William and Mary, California State University Long Beach, Louisiana State University, Delta State College, Canoga Park High School and The Lutheran School.
Joseph is a member of the Screen Actors Guild, American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, Actors Equity Association, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Incorporated, was National Co-Chair of the African American Steering committee for Bush/Cheney Â’04, was named a member of the Republican National Committees African American Advisory Board, was appointed by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to the state board of directors of the California African American Museum and was named a 2005 Claremont Institute Lincoln Fellow.
An interest in Law resulted in Joseph’s acceptance to Rutgers University School of Law—an auxiliary career path he has put on hold. He is also a graduate of culinary school and has had recipes published in Soap Opera Digest, Essence Magazine and the best selling cookbook, Cooking with Regis And Kathy Lee, and is the Celebrity Chairman for Real Men Cook, Los Angeles.
However, his greatest passion is Nicole, his wife of 13 years, and their three children, Connor, 10, Ellis, 8 and 6 year-old Samuel."
Joseph C. Phillips -- Biography
Care to post your resume?