Military refuses to participate in Trump's parade - citing "bone spurs"

[DrLove]

Worked for Captain Chaos - Why not?

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The Pentagon has turned down Donald J. Trump’s request for a grand military parade in Washington, D.C., citing a sudden outbreak of bone spurs that would prevent men and women in uniform from participating.

Harland Dorrinson, a Pentagon spokesman, said that, within an hour of Trump’s request, more than a hundred thousand military personnel complained that they were suffering from acute cases of bone spurs that would make marching in such a parade a painful ordeal.

“In the history of the U.S. military, we have never experienced a bone-spur epidemic of this magnitude,” the spokesman said. “Regrettably, however, we have no choice but to issue thousands of deferments.”

A statement from the bone-spur sufferers said that they would continue to valiantly serve their country around the world in a non-marching capacity, and offered an alternative to their participation in Trump’s proposed pageant.

“President Trump is welcome to march in the parade all by himself if he would finally like to enlist,” the statement read.​

Military Refuses to Participate in Trump’s Parade, Citing Bone Spurs

 

[Sunni Man]

.........

 

[Pogo]

Worked for Captain Chaos - Why not?

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The Pentagon has turned down Donald J. Trump’s request for a grand military parade in Washington, D.C., citing a sudden outbreak of bone spurs that would prevent men and women in uniform from participating.

Harland Dorrinson, a Pentagon spokesman, said that, within an hour of Trump’s request, more than a hundred thousand military personnel complained that they were suffering from acute cases of bone spurs that would make marching in such a parade a painful ordeal.

“In the history of the U.S. military, we have never experienced a bone-spur epidemic of this magnitude,” the spokesman said. “Regrettably, however, we have no choice but to issue thousands of deferments.”

A statement from the bone-spur sufferers said that they would continue to valiantly serve their country around the world in a non-marching capacity, and offered an alternative to their participation in Trump’s proposed pageant.

“President Trump is welcome to march in the parade all by himself if he would finally like to enlist,” the statement read.​

Military Refuses to Participate in Trump’s Parade, Citing Bone Spurs

Asked for further comment the Pentagon added that the military would however be doing its part by patronizing New York sex clubs.

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

Worked for Captain Chaos - Why not?

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The Pentagon has turned down Donald J. Trump’s request for a grand military parade in Washington, D.C., citing a sudden outbreak of bone spurs that would prevent men and women in uniform from participating.

Harland Dorrinson, a Pentagon spokesman, said that, within an hour of Trump’s request, more than a hundred thousand military personnel complained that they were suffering from acute cases of bone spurs that would make marching in such a parade a painful ordeal.

“In the history of the U.S. military, we have never experienced a bone-spur epidemic of this magnitude,” the spokesman said. “Regrettably, however, we have no choice but to issue thousands of deferments.”

A statement from the bone-spur sufferers said that they would continue to valiantly serve their country around the world in a non-marching capacity, and offered an alternative to their participation in Trump’s proposed pageant.

“President Trump is welcome to march in the parade all by himself if he would finally like to enlist,” the statement read.​

Military Refuses to Participate in Trump’s Parade, Citing Bone Spurs

He could of done what 42 did and just burn his draft card. You libtards loved 42...

 

[Pogo]

“President Trump is welcome to march in the parade all by himself if he would finally like to enlist,” the statement read.

We can only imagine what that would look like ----

Saluting:

​

---- proudly displaying the uniform:

"I like beer bellies that weren't captured, OK?"​

--- acknowledging a superior officer:

 

[DrLove]

“President Trump is welcome to march in the parade all by himself if he would finally like to enlist,” the statement read.

We can only imagine what that would look like ----

LoL - I'd almost forgot about the Dr Ben belt thing ...

Might look like this - With Mel batting his *****-grabbing hand away

 

[JakeStarkey]

Melania, that poor woman

 

[IsaacNewton]

They should have had the parade today for LIttle Boy Trump.

It's Fat Teusday!

 

[harmonica]

what??

 

[DrLove]

Melania, that poor woman

I've a sneaking suspicion she's gonna dump the fat bastard on fairly short order.

 

[Pogo]

They should have had the parade today for LIttle Boy Trump.

It's Fat Teusday!

Actually some did!


Düsseldorf:

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Atlanta:

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And this is from last year in Italy but worth a reprise:

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