I've joined the Jehovah's Witness Protection program

[xotoxi]

Now the only people who will be coming to my door will be teens on bottle drives, girl scouts, and the weekly census worker.

 

[Jon]

Can I interest you in:

 

[xotoxi]

Can I interest you in:

ABSOLUTELY!!!

I love Hendrix!!!

 

[Jon]

 

[syrenn]

I have always wanted to hook up a sprinkler system with a remote control on/off system to my front porch.

Door bell rings, I look to see who it is, and push the ON button!

 

[L.K.Eder]

I have always wanted to hook up a sprinkler system with a remote control on/off system to my front porch.

Door bell rings, I look to see who it is, and push the ON button!

gratia placenti, huh?

 

[RadiomanATL]

Get an invisible fence and a large-ish dog.

No more solicitors.

 

[L.K.Eder]

Now the only people who will be coming to my door will be teens on bottle drives, girl scouts, and the weekly census worker.

what about creek creatures posing as census workers?

 

[CrusaderFrank]

"Do you know why the mob killed Einstein? He knew too much." -- Steve Martin (I think)

 

[xotoxi]

I have always wanted to hook up a sprinkler system with a remote control on/off system to my front porch.

Door bell rings, I look to see who it is, and push the ON button!

And what would be even better would be that it wouldn't sprinkle water, but rather URINE!

 

[syrenn]

I have always wanted to hook up a sprinkler system with a remote control on/off system to my front porch.

Door bell rings, I look to see who it is, and push the ON button!

And what would be even better would be that it wouldn't sprinkle water, but rather URINE!

Like that idea do you? Trust me one of these days its will be installed.

SSSSOOOO sorry it came on to water the hanging plants.

 

[xotoxi]

Here's an idea for when Witnesses show up...

You quickly put on a hospital gown and robe, and walk to the door with an IV pole with a bag hanging which looks like it is filled with blood.

 

[L.K.Eder]

Here's an idea for when Witnesses show up...

You quickly put on a hospital gown and robe, and walk to the door with an IV pole with a bag hanging which looks like it is filled with blood.

a friendly "no thank you" was usually enough. and i lived near a rapidly expanding hub.

 

[Ringel05]

I just tell them I'm Catholic. It ends all further discourse.

 

[xotoxi]

Here's an idea for when Witnesses show up...

You quickly put on a hospital gown and robe, and walk to the door with an IV pole with a bag hanging which looks like it is filled with blood.

a friendly "no thank you" was usually enough. and i lived near a rapidly expanding hub.

I think the IV pole is a little more creative.

 

[L.K.Eder]

Here's an idea for when Witnesses show up...

You quickly put on a hospital gown and robe, and walk to the door with an IV pole with a bag hanging which looks like it is filled with blood.

a friendly "no thank you" was usually enough. and i lived near a rapidly expanding hub.

I think the IV pole is a little more creative.

as conversation piece certainly. if you want them to leave you alone, then no.

 

[strollingbones]

jws wont violate a no tresspassing sign

 

[xotoxi]

jws wont violate a no tresspassing sign

My religion does not allow the placement of no tresspassing signs.

We also do not allow fountains to be turned on after noon on Wednesdays, nor do we allow yellow flowers.

 

[Barb]

jws wont violate a no tresspassing sign

My religion does not allow the placement of no tresspassing signs.

We also do not allow fountains to be turned on after noon on Wednesdays, nor do we allow yellow flowers.

How about a chalk outline of a body, and some religious tracts lying around sprinkled with hot sauce?

 

[xotoxi]

jws wont violate a no tresspassing sign

My religion does not allow the placement of no tresspassing signs.

We also do not allow fountains to be turned on after noon on Wednesdays, nor do we allow yellow flowers.

How about a chalk outline of a body, and some religious tracts lying around sprinkled with hot sauce?

Only white chalk can be used...unless there is visible blood on the body.

Then we require spray paint. Color doesn't matter.