SYTFE
Gold Member
- Banned
- #1
So, I decided that I'm gonna start my own party. I'm gonna call it, the "Squeegee Your Third Fucking Eye" party. Has a nice ring to it, right?
Here it is, in all its glory…
Bring Back The Middle Class:
Immigration:
Health Care:
Death Penalty: Buh-bye death penalty. It’s been nice knowing you. You’re gone.
Sustainable Energy:
End the militarization of the police as well as police brutality.
We’re gonna end all imperialistic ventures, maintain a fairly strict policy of non-intervention unless absolutely necessary, take most of the money we spend on military defense and all of the money we spend on imprisoning citizens for petty drug offenses, and spend all of that money on feeding the poor and on education, so that no child ever goes hungry in this country ever again. We will decriminalize most drugs, like in Portugal, and drug abusers will be treated because they are sick -- not criminals.
Geico will not be allowed, ever, under any circumstances to run another commercial again.
If you drive slower than 75mph in the fast lane, you will be given a ticket for being an asshole. Second time offenses will require a 1 week drivers ed course, so you can learn how to fucking drive.
Texting and driving will result in a public spanking. These spankings will be televised. A little bit of humiliation is a good thing, especially if it keeps your disrespectful ass from swerving into my lane like a drunken Chinaman.
Sponsored links by Taboola will be outlawed from all websites.
Here it is, in all its glory…
Bring Back The Middle Class:
Obviously, wall street and big corp will pay their fair share of taxes. American businesses that outsource manufacturing (like Trump’s businesses) will be punished relentlessly in taxes. Want to make your products in China? Fine, then move your business there. You won’t be operating in America, you greedy fucking pigs.
Universities raping students with outrageous tuitions that they can never pay off will be a distant memory. Universities charging such tuitions will be faced with usury fines as well as losing their educational status and will only be seen as for-profit corporations.
$15.00 and hour national minimum wage. Can’t afford to pay your workers fifteen bucks an hour? Then stop pretending to be a business owner, enroll in some basic business classes, and learn how to run a business ya twat. Or get the fuck out of here and start your business in Bangladesh were you belong.
Universities raping students with outrageous tuitions that they can never pay off will be a distant memory. Universities charging such tuitions will be faced with usury fines as well as losing their educational status and will only be seen as for-profit corporations.
$15.00 and hour national minimum wage. Can’t afford to pay your workers fifteen bucks an hour? Then stop pretending to be a business owner, enroll in some basic business classes, and learn how to run a business ya twat. Or get the fuck out of here and start your business in Bangladesh were you belong.
Immigration:
There will not -- and never will be -- a stupid fucking wall. However, things can be done a lot better in terms of immigration and curbing illegal immigration. Here's what I propose:
Illegal aliens from Mexico only come here because they KNOW they'll be able to find work. They don't come here to get on welfare or to use hospital ER's, or any other stupid right wing talking point. They come here because Mexico sucks balls and they come here as an act of desperation to get money to feed themselves and their families. Since it would be nearly impossible to police every business who knowingly hire illegal aliens, a better solution would be to offer a tax incentive for every illegal employee that they help to attain legal status, and to punish them if they don’t. If it is determined that an employer is knowingly employing an illegal alien longer than 30 days without helping them become legal, they will pay substantial fines. Such fines go towards health care.
Illegal aliens from Mexico only come here because they KNOW they'll be able to find work. They don't come here to get on welfare or to use hospital ER's, or any other stupid right wing talking point. They come here because Mexico sucks balls and they come here as an act of desperation to get money to feed themselves and their families. Since it would be nearly impossible to police every business who knowingly hire illegal aliens, a better solution would be to offer a tax incentive for every illegal employee that they help to attain legal status, and to punish them if they don’t. If it is determined that an employer is knowingly employing an illegal alien longer than 30 days without helping them become legal, they will pay substantial fines. Such fines go towards health care.
Health Care:
We're gonna have single payer health coverage. Period. End of story. However, the government may purchase services from private organizations. The fact that the USA does not have national health coverage is ridiculous. The days of patients and families being bankrupted by outrageous hospital bills are over. Big pharma will not be allowed to run commercials or advertise to the public, and the days of ripping off people (such as EpiPen) are fucking over.
Death Penalty: Buh-bye death penalty. It’s been nice knowing you. You’re gone.
Sustainable Energy:
Huge incentives for innovations in the areas of clean energy and sustainability. The idea is to be 100% petroleum free within 15 years. We will do it with my plan. Fracking will also be eliminated.
End the militarization of the police as well as police brutality.
We’re gonna end all imperialistic ventures, maintain a fairly strict policy of non-intervention unless absolutely necessary, take most of the money we spend on military defense and all of the money we spend on imprisoning citizens for petty drug offenses, and spend all of that money on feeding the poor and on education, so that no child ever goes hungry in this country ever again. We will decriminalize most drugs, like in Portugal, and drug abusers will be treated because they are sick -- not criminals.
Geico will not be allowed, ever, under any circumstances to run another commercial again.
If you drive slower than 75mph in the fast lane, you will be given a ticket for being an asshole. Second time offenses will require a 1 week drivers ed course, so you can learn how to fucking drive.
Texting and driving will result in a public spanking. These spankings will be televised. A little bit of humiliation is a good thing, especially if it keeps your disrespectful ass from swerving into my lane like a drunken Chinaman.
Sponsored links by Taboola will be outlawed from all websites.
