Philobeado
Gold Member
> Dear Mr. President:
>
> I'm planning to move my family and extended family
> into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you
> to assist me.
>
> We're planning to simply walk across the border
> from the U.S. into Mexico , and we'll need your
> help to make a few arrangements.
>
> We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas,
> passports, immigration quotas and laws.
>
> I'm sure they handle those things the same way you
> do here.
>
> So, would you mind telling your buddy, President
> Calderon, that I'm on my way over?
>
> Please let him know that I will be expecting the
> following:
>
> 1. Free medical care for my entire family.
>
> 2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all
> services I might need, whether I use them or
> not.
>
> 3. Please print all Mexican government forms in
> English.
>
> 4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by
> English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
>
> 5. Tell their schools they need to include
> classes on American culture and history.
>
> 6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one
> of the flag poles at their school.
>
> 7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both
> breakfast and lunch.
>
> 8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so
> I can get easy access to
> government services.
>
> 9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I
> don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I
> probably won't make any special effort to learn local
> traffic laws.
>
> 10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does
> not get the memo from their president to leave me
> alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at
> least one English-speaking officer.
>
> 11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put
> US. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic
> celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints
> or negative comments from the locals.
>
> 12. I would also like to have a nice job without
> paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax
> laws enforced on any business I may start.
>
> 13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican
> people to be extremely nice and never say a critical
> things about me or my family, or about the strain we might
> place on their economy.
>
> 14. I want to receive free food
> stamps.
>
> 15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent
> subsidies.
>
> 16. I'll need Income tax credits so
> although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive
> money from the government.
>
> 17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican
> Gov't pays $ 4,500 to help me buy a new car.
>
> 18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me
> free into the Mexican Social Security program so that
> I'll get a monthly income in retirement.
>
> I know this is an easy request because you
> already do all these things for all his people who come
> to the U.S. from Mexico . I am sure that President
> Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask
> him nicely.
>
> Thank you so much for your kind help. You the
> man!!!
>
> Joe American
>
> I'm planning to move my family and extended family
> into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you
> to assist me.
>
> We're planning to simply walk across the border
> from the U.S. into Mexico , and we'll need your
> help to make a few arrangements.
>
> We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas,
> passports, immigration quotas and laws.
>
> I'm sure they handle those things the same way you
> do here.
>
> So, would you mind telling your buddy, President
> Calderon, that I'm on my way over?
>
> Please let him know that I will be expecting the
> following:
>
> 1. Free medical care for my entire family.
>
> 2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all
> services I might need, whether I use them or
> not.
>
> 3. Please print all Mexican government forms in
> English.
>
> 4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by
> English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
>
> 5. Tell their schools they need to include
> classes on American culture and history.
>
> 6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one
> of the flag poles at their school.
>
> 7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both
> breakfast and lunch.
>
> 8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so
> I can get easy access to
> government services.
>
> 9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I
> don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I
> probably won't make any special effort to learn local
> traffic laws.
>
> 10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does
> not get the memo from their president to leave me
> alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at
> least one English-speaking officer.
>
> 11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put
> US. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic
> celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints
> or negative comments from the locals.
>
> 12. I would also like to have a nice job without
> paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax
> laws enforced on any business I may start.
>
> 13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican
> people to be extremely nice and never say a critical
> things about me or my family, or about the strain we might
> place on their economy.
>
> 14. I want to receive free food
> stamps.
>
> 15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent
> subsidies.
>
> 16. I'll need Income tax credits so
> although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive
> money from the government.
>
> 17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican
> Gov't pays $ 4,500 to help me buy a new car.
>
> 18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me
> free into the Mexican Social Security program so that
> I'll get a monthly income in retirement.
>
> I know this is an easy request because you
> already do all these things for all his people who come
> to the U.S. from Mexico . I am sure that President
> Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask
> him nicely.
>
> Thank you so much for your kind help. You the
> man!!!
>
> Joe American
