I hear ya
I have walked a mile in ALL THEIR SHOES.
I've been homeless
I've been to prison
I was given over to the state at the age of 7
I've lived in the ghetto
I've lived in drug houses
There isn't much in the way of bad luck or poor decisions I haven't experienced. Yet I was able to rise above it all because of my determination to get out of that life.
Excuses are just that....EXCUSES
Guess some of us are so continually knocked down and just don't have the strength or the belief things will ever get better NO MATTER WHAT they do. By this time in my life I want to raise my kids get them hopefully off to college and then just go hide in the damn woods with my books and watch the world go by without bothering me. I am not sure WHAT it is but I have practically given up thinking I can improve MY life,my wife she has been accepted to college and is working her way through the pile of bullshit to start next fall for her RN degree and I am backing her and dealing with shit work shifts and taking on more work at home to help her. I got my CDL,got injured,then tried college and it wasn't for me I was constantly antsy and scatter brained and just wanted to get away constantly. Its like I am now I HATE staying in one place for more than a month or so at a time....not a great life for a family obviously so the urge is constantly there but so is the KNOWING that my kids need stability etc. Granted both me and the wife look back and realize we REALLY fucked up. She had a bright future ahead of her she wanted to be a chef in a big hotel or eatery etc,me I realize I should NOT have ever had kids as I am just someone who wants to be on the road 24/7. I LOVE finding books,reading books,collecting books and traveling. Mix all that together and well you get what I got now. Miserable,Depressed life I can't WAIT to escape from. Youngest is 20 months so got 16 years still....I wish more than anything I had 2 things growing up. 1. parents that actually gave a shit to push me towards higher education even if it was tech school or something and 2. a mind that didn't run 24/7 and want to escape society and just enjoy freedom.
I hear ya. Just find some good hobbies to get into. Cooking is one great hobby. Nothing like cooking your own fantastic meals. Once you get into it, it can be very fun and rewarding. It's little things that often improve quality of life. Just find a couple hobbies that make you happy. They'll get ya through all the struggles.
I read. I collect books,I love going to thrift stores and looking for new books....but with christmas and wife just getting back to work and now truck being a major POS no money to do so. Don't scoped all stores near here would like to plan trip into Georgia or Tennessee or Charlotte,NC. I wish I enjoyed going to bars and drinking to get away from all the noise but I don't. I prefer being alone reading or researching etc. Not much space or time to do that here.Oh well life goes on for now...just hope shit changes soon.
It will change. I don't know if you're spiritual or not, but i feel praying really does help. Pray together with someone you trust and love. It works. And i'm not trying to sell you anything. I have a family member who's very spiritual. But he's never pushed it on anyone.
Awhile back, i had some problems. And sometimes when talking with him on the phone, he would offer for us to pray together. At first i didn't see much point, but i tried it anyway. And as the weeks and months passed, i started realizing that things were improving quite a bit. It was crazy. I don't know if you could call it a 'Miracle', but it seemed like it to me at the time. So hang in there. Find a close friend or family member you can pray with. I truly believe positive change will happen for you.