Lord Long Rod
Diamond Member
- Jan 17, 2023
- 7,706
- 8,122
- 2,138
- Banned
- #1
I was hanging out over at my buddy’s place over the weekend. I like to visit him because he lives way out in the country, on a farm. You can do things out there that you cannot do where I live; e.g., shoot guns nude in your back yard. So yesterday afternoon he and I were walking around outside on his land, smoking Habanos and shooting the shit. That’s when my buddy asked, “Hey Rod, you want to see my cock?” I replied, fuck yeah, dude!! Show it to me!!” So, he pulled me around the side of a barn and pulled it out to show me. I was like, “GODDAMN!!! That is one BIG cock!!!!”
My buddy explained that it was a “Rhode Island Red”. He had a whole fuck-ton of them in his coop right there alongside the barn. “Dude, you got a big stable of cocks right there!”, I said. “You can never have too much cock, Rod”, my pal said. “When times are tough you can always whack a couple of those cocks and eat them”. I replied, “Fuck, man! I am always up for eating cock. I love fried chicken!!”
Then something caught my eye. One of the chickens was out of the coop and pecking the shit out of something on the ground. This one was black; not one of the Reds. Upon closer inspection we learned that it was pecking a big fat snake to death. “Holy shit!”, I exclaimed. “It’s a sword fight”, my buddy explained. “What?!?”, I replied. My buddy then explained that what had happened is that these two fine gentleman, a big black cock and a long, thick, black snake, squared off for a battle to the death. It was a good old fashioned sword fight. I said, “Man, you got a jackhammer cock right there, dude!”. My pal smiled and nodded. He said, “My big black cock will put any long, thick snake to shame.”
I asked “What are those over there?”, pointing to a fenced in area. My friend said, “Oh, that is where all the fat pigs live.” I asked him why he kept the fat, sloppy pigs so far away. He said “I don’t get my cock around any fat pigs, Rod. I mean, I guess you would not have a problem with it, but not me.” I placed my Habano between my lips and took a hearty draw on the robust stick. I nodded at my friend. We continued on our sojourn.
Next, we came across my pal’s ducks. I said, “I sure like a good duck.” My friend laughed. I looked at him and asked what was so funny. He was holding his Habano in his right hand, and stroking it with his left. Then he raised it to his mouth, slowly slid it between his lips, and took a good, long draw on it. He then explained that he did not understanding what I was talking about. “You mean you like to duck, as in pet it? Those ducks are kind of like cocks, you know. They are peckers.” I said “No, no no… I mean that I like how duck tastes. You know, I like to put duck in my mouth!” My friend said, “Ohhhh…. You like to eat duck! I get it now. I like to eat duck too, especially the peckers. The flavor will fill your mouth, so warm and smooth.”
As we walked back to my friend’s house I asked him which he liked more: cock or duck. My friend replied, “Well, Rod, it is like this. See, you can have a big pecker, and that big pecker may be a cock, or a duck, or even a goose. But in my book, nothing beats a big old cock. Because the other two are fowl peckers. I would rather have a clean cock in me than a fowl pecker.” I was amazed. My buddy really knew his cock. “You are very cocksure, friend”, I said.
When we got to his front porch, my friend’s cat, Willow, was laying there. “Ah, look at that big old pussy all spread out there on your porch”, I said. “Yeah, she stays up here. She likes to chase cock, so I have to keep her up here on the porch.” I asked if cock likes pussy. My amigo said, “Ah shit!! Those cocks will POUND the ever loving shit out of this here pussy! The last time the cat wandered off into the farm those big old cocks ganged up and let the pussy have it. She could not walk right for a month!” I bent over and tickled the pussy with my fingers, making it purr. “I love pussy”, I said.
Just them came a horrible sound. It was something like “HAW HEE!!! HAW HEE!!!” I turned around to find this huge horse-like creature with funny ears. My buddy said, “Oh, that’s just my ass. He must have followed us back to the house. I asked, “What do you do with THAT? Do you … eat it?” My friend laughed. “Yeah, you can eat ass, if you want to, I guess. I hear tell of some folks being into that, I reckon.” By then the ass was using its nose to nudge at the cat.
“What the fuck is he doing?”, I asked. My friend said, “Well, that old smelly ass is jealous of pussy. It always has been. See, that pussy gets a lot of attention. I mean, just a minute ago you were fingering it. Plus, all those cocks are always looking to pound it. But the poor old ass, well, he just does not get that kind of attention. So he gets jealous of the pussy. I said, “Goddamn, dude. Your ass stinks.”
My friend asked if I wanted to take a closer look at his ass. I looked at him like he was crazy. He said, “Come on, Rod. Asses need loving too. It’s not that bad. You just need to rub on it a little, with your fingers, then it will relax and let you inside. The fact is, it is just as good as the pussy.” I had a hard time believing that. But I decided to give it a whirl. I did as my friend instructed. Pretty soon that old ass opened up to me and was all kinds of fun!! Who would have ever thunk that ass play could be like this?!? Hell, with an ass like this, who even needs a pussy?
Pretty soon the time came for me to leave my buddy’s house and head home, back to the city. “Man, I love it out here, dude!! It’s nothing but peckers, pussy, and ass!!”, I said. My buddy smiled and patted my back. “Come on out anytime, Rod. Mi casa, su casa. There’s plenty of cock and ass to go around”, said my friend. I went home that night tired but satiated with cock and pussy. As I fell asleep I was already thinking about my next trip to the farm!
My buddy explained that it was a “Rhode Island Red”. He had a whole fuck-ton of them in his coop right there alongside the barn. “Dude, you got a big stable of cocks right there!”, I said. “You can never have too much cock, Rod”, my pal said. “When times are tough you can always whack a couple of those cocks and eat them”. I replied, “Fuck, man! I am always up for eating cock. I love fried chicken!!”
Then something caught my eye. One of the chickens was out of the coop and pecking the shit out of something on the ground. This one was black; not one of the Reds. Upon closer inspection we learned that it was pecking a big fat snake to death. “Holy shit!”, I exclaimed. “It’s a sword fight”, my buddy explained. “What?!?”, I replied. My buddy then explained that what had happened is that these two fine gentleman, a big black cock and a long, thick, black snake, squared off for a battle to the death. It was a good old fashioned sword fight. I said, “Man, you got a jackhammer cock right there, dude!”. My pal smiled and nodded. He said, “My big black cock will put any long, thick snake to shame.”
I asked “What are those over there?”, pointing to a fenced in area. My friend said, “Oh, that is where all the fat pigs live.” I asked him why he kept the fat, sloppy pigs so far away. He said “I don’t get my cock around any fat pigs, Rod. I mean, I guess you would not have a problem with it, but not me.” I placed my Habano between my lips and took a hearty draw on the robust stick. I nodded at my friend. We continued on our sojourn.
Next, we came across my pal’s ducks. I said, “I sure like a good duck.” My friend laughed. I looked at him and asked what was so funny. He was holding his Habano in his right hand, and stroking it with his left. Then he raised it to his mouth, slowly slid it between his lips, and took a good, long draw on it. He then explained that he did not understanding what I was talking about. “You mean you like to duck, as in pet it? Those ducks are kind of like cocks, you know. They are peckers.” I said “No, no no… I mean that I like how duck tastes. You know, I like to put duck in my mouth!” My friend said, “Ohhhh…. You like to eat duck! I get it now. I like to eat duck too, especially the peckers. The flavor will fill your mouth, so warm and smooth.”
As we walked back to my friend’s house I asked him which he liked more: cock or duck. My friend replied, “Well, Rod, it is like this. See, you can have a big pecker, and that big pecker may be a cock, or a duck, or even a goose. But in my book, nothing beats a big old cock. Because the other two are fowl peckers. I would rather have a clean cock in me than a fowl pecker.” I was amazed. My buddy really knew his cock. “You are very cocksure, friend”, I said.
When we got to his front porch, my friend’s cat, Willow, was laying there. “Ah, look at that big old pussy all spread out there on your porch”, I said. “Yeah, she stays up here. She likes to chase cock, so I have to keep her up here on the porch.” I asked if cock likes pussy. My amigo said, “Ah shit!! Those cocks will POUND the ever loving shit out of this here pussy! The last time the cat wandered off into the farm those big old cocks ganged up and let the pussy have it. She could not walk right for a month!” I bent over and tickled the pussy with my fingers, making it purr. “I love pussy”, I said.
Just them came a horrible sound. It was something like “HAW HEE!!! HAW HEE!!!” I turned around to find this huge horse-like creature with funny ears. My buddy said, “Oh, that’s just my ass. He must have followed us back to the house. I asked, “What do you do with THAT? Do you … eat it?” My friend laughed. “Yeah, you can eat ass, if you want to, I guess. I hear tell of some folks being into that, I reckon.” By then the ass was using its nose to nudge at the cat.
“What the fuck is he doing?”, I asked. My friend said, “Well, that old smelly ass is jealous of pussy. It always has been. See, that pussy gets a lot of attention. I mean, just a minute ago you were fingering it. Plus, all those cocks are always looking to pound it. But the poor old ass, well, he just does not get that kind of attention. So he gets jealous of the pussy. I said, “Goddamn, dude. Your ass stinks.”
My friend asked if I wanted to take a closer look at his ass. I looked at him like he was crazy. He said, “Come on, Rod. Asses need loving too. It’s not that bad. You just need to rub on it a little, with your fingers, then it will relax and let you inside. The fact is, it is just as good as the pussy.” I had a hard time believing that. But I decided to give it a whirl. I did as my friend instructed. Pretty soon that old ass opened up to me and was all kinds of fun!! Who would have ever thunk that ass play could be like this?!? Hell, with an ass like this, who even needs a pussy?
Pretty soon the time came for me to leave my buddy’s house and head home, back to the city. “Man, I love it out here, dude!! It’s nothing but peckers, pussy, and ass!!”, I said. My buddy smiled and patted my back. “Come on out anytime, Rod. Mi casa, su casa. There’s plenty of cock and ass to go around”, said my friend. I went home that night tired but satiated with cock and pussy. As I fell asleep I was already thinking about my next trip to the farm!
