I Think A Power Drill Would Have Been Better

[Burp]

Man used saber saw as sex toy on woman

LEXINGTON PARK --- At 1:30 Sunday morning crews responded to a 27-year-old woman who was bleeding. Firefighters and EMS workers arriving at the home on Rogers Drive, about a block from the Bay District firehouse quickly determined the cause of the woman's distress.

The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner. The blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The injuries were serious enough that the woman was flown by Maryland State Police helicopter to the trauma center at Prince George's Hospital Center.

St. Mary's County Sheriff's Department officials said they would likely follow up to make sure this was just an accident and involved consensual behavior.

It is unclear exactly what prompted the experimentation in Southern Maryland, but it appears there are commercial devices sold on the Internet that combine power tools with sex toys that don't present the problems experienced with this home made device.

Welcome to St. Mary's Today Online Edition!

 

[xotoxi]

Man used saber saw as sex toy on woman

He clearly misinterpreted the term "cyber-sex".

 

[Burp]

Man used saber saw as sex toy on woman

He clearly misinterpreted the term "cyber-sex".

At least it wasn't a gerbil.

OH....sorry..wrong sex.

 

[xotoxi]

Man used saber saw as sex toy on woman

He clearly misinterpreted the term "cyber-sex".

At least it wasn't a gerbil.

OH....sorry..wrong sex.

She could have used a jackhammer...but then I would have had to have been there.

 

[Terry]

Holy Cow! talk about stupid people! Eye for an Eye maybe? Geez

 

[necritan]

I always thought that would be a good idea.....mounting a Dildo on a Sawsall....WITHOUT THE BLADE!!!!!

Some people are so retarded....

I bet she'll be fine though....

I've witnessed my wife give birth to both of our beautiful children....child birth (as you all know can cause some damage)...temporarily.....so...I'm sure she'll be fine. Very embarassing though.

Makes me wonder though.....I bet Makita , Dewalt , Ryobi , Stanley , Lowe's , Home Depot etc etc could all start up an "Intimate Tools and Accessories" lines of product.

"The Jack-hammer"

"The Hole punch"

"Tounge and Groove Caulk"

"The Hose Bib"

"The Back Hoe"

"The Washing Machine w/ Benefits" Cums with 25 different spin cycles...

Im sure some others here could add to this list........

 

[xotoxi]

Makes me wonder though.....I bet Makita , Dewalt , Ryobi , Stanley , Lowe's , Home Depot etc etc could all start up an "Intimate Tools and Accessories" lines of product.

"The Jack-hammer"

"The Hole punch"

"Tounge and Groove Caulk"

"The Hose Bib"

"The Back Hoe"

"The Washing Machine w/ Benefits" Cums with 25 different spin cycles...

Im sure some others here could add to this list........

"The Broomhandle"

 

[xotoxi]

"The Kitchen Sink"

(Literally...it would be used by those who like to get really messy...helps with easier clean-up)

 

[xsited1]

View attachment $OMF.bmp

 

[Terry]

You know this couple will probably file a lawsuit against the power tool company for not putting a warning label for so called use.

 

[garyd]

Okay caught a blurb for some silly show earlier...

Some idiot trys to to get drunk on gasoline apparently confusing the word octane with the word proof.

He then got sick of course and proceeded to puke of all places straight into the camp fire. Can you say flame on, Jack? this was number 633 of God alone knows how many stupid ways to die. Some one please tell me where they found 632 ways that were dumber than that?

 

[Terry]

These are not as good as the OP's but I found a few:

A computer fan had a romance on the Internet. When he fixed to meet his love in Sydney, Australia, she turned out to be the woman he'd divorced eight years ago

A court witness had to tell the truth when a lawyer asked if she was sexually active. "No, I just lie there," she replied in Chicago Illinois.

A Clumsy hunter who shot himself in the leg, fired his rifle to attract help in the wilds of Arizona - and the bullet ricocheted into his OTHER leg.

 

[DiveCon]

You know this couple will probably file a lawsuit against the power tool company for not putting a warning label for so called use.

yeah, no shit

 

[raceright]

"The Kitchen Sink"

(Literally...it would be used by those who like to get really messy...helps with easier clean-up)

Yea I'm the asshole right

 

[rayboyusmc]

Black and Decker toys for twats.

Hear that every year with the Marine toy collection drive.

 

[strollingbones]

dump the saw saw fantansy... only about an inch movement back and forth...no thrill there...you can buy a machine.

Yes, I think we do - as Timothy Archibald shows us in his new book Sex Machines. But, before going into more details, let's get this out of the way: There is very little nudity in this book - even if one is willing to include the phalli. The book is really more about the people who invent these machines and, if put into a larger context, about some of the things that are going on in suburbia or in small towns - those presumed islands of safety and cleanliness, away from the cities' depravity and sins.

So it is really completely logical that some of the inventors are devout Christians, with their very own kind of morals (one of them asked the author "I realize when you were here I never asked you about your relationship with the Lord. Have you thought about it?", while another one said "I will require anyone ordering a machine from me to provide proof of marriage and a signed statement of intent to use only within that marriage") or MBA's or engineers, who have a hard time finding somebody to try their inventions.

full aticle: Review: Sex Machines: Photographs and Interviews (Conscientious)

 

[strollingbones]

okay tell man about this thread...when he tells me there are dildo for saw saws and drills....

do not open if offended or under 18...

Dildo Drill - The Dildo Fucking Machine

who knew....

 

[xotoxi]

Dildo Drill - The Dildo Fucking Machine

Not to change the subject, but the other day I was in a restaurant and they had delicious dill-flavored dinner rolls. Soft, warm, and with the tanginess and flavor of dill.

I asked them for the recipe and they actually gave it to me.

If anyone is interested in the recipe for dill dough, please PM me.

 

[strollingbones]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that was so bad...so fucking bad....

 

[editec]

Dildo Drill - The Dildo Fucking Machine

Not to change the subject, but the other day I was in a restaurant and they had delicious dill-flavored dinner rolls. Soft, warm, and with the tanginess and flavor of dill.

I asked them for the recipe and they actually gave it to me.

If anyone is interested in the recipe for dill dough, please PM me.

Punishment like that deserves retribution.