A surprise encounter with a criminal attempting to rob you as a civilian is not the same as the situations that military people arm themselves for. As for police, of course they are going to want the most expensive and powerful weapons they can carry on the taxpayer dime. Doesn't mean that it is the wise choice.
I remember reading the studies, but I did not bookmark them or save the links.
Here is one article about it, admittedly not particularly scientific:
by Greg Ellifritz I've been interested in firearm stopping power for a very long time. I remember reading Handguns magazine back in the late 1980s when Evan Marshall was writing articles about his stopping power studies. When Marshall's first book came out in 1992, I ordered it immediately...
www.buckeyefirearms.org
From that study:
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The .380 performed above the handgun average across calibers in one stop incapacitation.
The article goes on to list percentages of incapacitation, and in particular, percent of people not incapacitated. In that stat the .380 is on par with the others.
If you're interested, I encourage you to research it, but I have no need to convince you. Carry what you like, while it is still a relatively free country.