I Just Spoke to God....

[AVG-JOE]

I Just Spoke to God....

Errr... That is to say... HE just spoke to me.

First let me be clear. He spoke to me. He gave me no instructions to tell y'all shit. I'm not writing this to try to influence anyone or suggest that I have some sort of "in" with God that any and every one of you doesn't also have. I just think it's a neat story and I want to share.

God got my attention by pointing out the good in something bad that happened to me.

June 16, 2010, 0400 hours: Average Margo wakes me from a damn fine sleep, but not for any of the good reasons that I've been awakened at 0400 for. She ended my dreams because I was managing to sleep through our whole house shaking and loudly going BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

It was the expandable room in average House trying to expand beyond as biggest as it goes because of a short circuit in a fancy control panel that some idiot engineered the house to have installed right beneath the 'fridge. With it's ice maker and condenser coils. That rely on cheap plastic tubing to drain condensation. In Florida of all places. Whenever the motor that opens and closes the room runs, there is a warning buzzer that loudly goes BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I say 'idiot' not because some idiot decided for all of us that warning buzzers were required for rooms that expand - that actually seems like a reasonable idea, safety considerations and all. I say idiot because I live in a 10 year old motor home and any idiot should have known that installing several pieces of electrical panels that look like shit you would find in a computer under a cooling unit with an ice maker, especially in Florida, was a stupid thing to do. Now it's 4 o'clock in the morning and I'm outside in the mosquitoes with no coffee looking for a fuse to pull while my house screams BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Of course, it'll last the warranty period - too bad it's not built to outlast the mortgage.

I had a bad night. Shit happens. Why ME, Lord?


Any-hoo... back to my coffee and conversation with God. As I was saying, God got my attention by showing me the good in a bad thing. The bad thing was being awakened at 0400 for all the wrong reasons.

How it could have been worse. As given to average Joe by average God:

3. The short could have caused the room to contract instead of attempt further expansion and my guitar would have been kindling for the next campfire instead of entertainment.

2. It could have happened at 1600 hours with nobody home and had time to break something mechanical in the process.​

And the number one way in which it could have been worse:

It could have silently shorted and simply not worked when the next hurricane came roaring through. If the expanded rooms in a motor home can't contract because a fried part is a week out with next-day air, that motor home is a sitting duck that does NOT float. The best part about living in a motor home in Florida is the money you save on being able to drive your house out of the way of storms.​

Or..... Maybe I'm just a lucky guy who hears voices.

I still believe that The Bible is not much more than a collection of stories in the various levels of imagination and story telling skills that humans are capable of.

If God actually IS, and He not only took the time to hand me a bad night just to save my ass, but then went on explain it to me, He simply must be bigger than ALL the stories combined that thus far survive a history such as ours, including the three most popular surviving collections of stories: Judaism, Islam and Christianity.

 

[Madeline]

Honey, you can get this sort of thing treated now, yanno.

LOL.

Just sayin'.......

 

[Quantum Windbag]

You have just hit on the most fundamental truth of all, that God cares. He doesn't care about the big things, or football games, he cares about people.

 

[AVG-JOE]

You have just hit on the most fundamental truth of all, that God cares. He doesn't care about the big things, or football games, he cares about people.

Or... some of us are lucky and hear voices while some of us are un-lucky. Why should God save my ass? Read my posts in this forum - It's not like I should be on His good side... Why does 'shit' still happen? Ask any parent or grandparent of any religion who has had to bury a child.

 

[JoLouis]

Next hurricane, your trailer "home" is toast regardless, lol. And fool, wasn't it your daughter who woke you up? You trying to say that she's god and she spoke to you?
Btw, me thinks you need a better job to afford a real house for your children and their safety. Jus' sayin'.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Next hurricane, your trailer "home" is toast regardless, lol. And fool, wasn't it your daughter who woke you up? You trying to say that she's god and she spoke to you?
Btw, me thinks you need a better job to afford a real house for your children and their safety. Jus' sayin'.

I want what you're

That made absolutely no sense whatsoever... Daughter?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Next hurricane, your trailer "home" is toast regardless, lol. And fool, wasn't it your daughter who woke you up? You trying to say that she's god and she spoke to you?
Btw, me thinks you need a better job to afford a real house for your children and their safety. Jus' sayin'.

My job is just fine, bud. I don't live in a 'trailer', read the fucking story - I live in a motor home. I live in it because I choose to for 2 reasons: Mobility and a small carbon footprint with correspondingly small energy costs compared to the comfort.

I'm keeping my equity in cash and stocks right now.... How's that real estate working out for you? If it's anything better than "hanging in there...", I'll bet you a dollar that you're not in Florida.

 

[midcan5]

 

[Quantum Windbag]

You have just hit on the most fundamental truth of all, that God cares. He doesn't care about the big things, or football games, he cares about people.

Or... some of us are lucky and hear voices while some of us are un-lucky. Why should God save my ass? Read my posts in this forum - It's not like I should be on His good side... Why does 'shit' still happen? Ask any parent or grandparent of any religion who has had to bury a child.

God is not responsible for everything that happens on Earth, despite some of the claims otherwise by both athiests and those who should know better. Maybe you have more in common with Him, as He really is, than you think.

 

[Anguille]

I Just Spoke to God....

How many times do I have to tell you our conversations are meant to be strictly confidential!

 

[AVG-JOE]

I Just Spoke to God....

How many times do I have to tell you our conversations are meant to be strictly confidential!

Ummmmm......

​

Oops?​

 

[Avatar4321]

You have just hit on the most fundamental truth of all, that God cares. He doesn't care about the big things, or football games, he cares about people.

Or... some of us are lucky and hear voices while some of us are un-lucky. Why should God save my ass? Read my posts in this forum - It's not like I should be on His good side... Why does 'shit' still happen? Ask any parent or grandparent of any religion who has had to bury a child.

Why shouldn't He?

 

[AVG-JOE]

You have just hit on the most fundamental truth of all, that God cares. He doesn't care about the big things, or football games, he cares about people.

Or... some of us are lucky and hear voices while some of us are un-lucky. Why should God save my ass? Read my posts in this forum - It's not like I should be on His good side... Why does 'shit' still happen? Ask any parent or grandparent of any religion who has had to bury a child.

Why shouldn't He?

If you truly knew me, you would know how good a question you've just asked...

Why the hell NOT me?​

Aside from using the knowledge I gleaned from my youthful years as a Believer to point out how silly it now is to me, something strictly verboten I do believe, I'm a great guy. It's no wonder God cares.

My charmed life certainly attests to the fact. I found career quality work in a 13% unemployment county as a brand new resident to the state. Why ME, Lord?!? Sure... I have skills... but let's face facts: I am one LUCKY middle aged mutt who passes for white. Why me, Lord?!?

Now... If I could only figure out why the FUCK God would allow that child to be abused.....

 

[Avatar4321]

Or... some of us are lucky and hear voices while some of us are un-lucky. Why should God save my ass? Read my posts in this forum - It's not like I should be on His good side... Why does 'shit' still happen? Ask any parent or grandparent of any religion who has had to bury a child.

Why shouldn't He?

If you truly knew me, you would know how good a question you've just asked...

Why the hell NOT me?​

Aside from using the knowledge I gleaned from my youthful years as a Believer to point out how silly it now is to me, something strictly verboten I do believe, I'm a great guy. It's no wonder God cares.

My charmed life certainly attests to the fact. I found career quality work in a 13% unemployment county as a brand new resident to the state. Why ME, Lord?!? Sure... I have skills... but let's face facts: I am one LUCKY middle aged mutt who passes for white. Why me, Lord?!?

Now... If I could only figure out why the FUCK God would allow that child to be abused.....

Why not just ask Him?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Why shouldn't He?

If you truly knew me, you would know how good a question you've just asked...

Why the hell NOT me?​

Aside from using the knowledge I gleaned from my youthful years as a Believer to point out how silly it now is to me, something strictly verboten I do believe, I'm a great guy. It's no wonder God cares.

My charmed life certainly attests to the fact. I found career quality work in a 13% unemployment county as a brand new resident to the state. Why ME, Lord?!? Sure... I have skills... but let's face facts: I am one LUCKY middle aged mutt who passes for white. Why me, Lord?!?

Now... If I could only figure out why the FUCK God would allow that child to be abused.....

Why not just ask Him?

You're just jealous because the voice talks to ME!

 

[AVG-JOE]

Why shouldn't He?

If you truly knew me, you would know how good a question you've just asked...

Why the hell NOT me?​

Aside from using the knowledge I gleaned from my youthful years as a Believer to point out how silly it now is to me, something strictly verboten I do believe, I'm a great guy. It's no wonder God cares.

My charmed life certainly attests to the fact. I found career quality work in a 13% unemployment county as a brand new resident to the state. Why ME, Lord?!? Sure... I have skills... but let's face facts: I am one LUCKY middle aged mutt who passes for white. Why me, Lord?!?

Now... If I could only figure out why the FUCK God would allow that child to be abused.....

Why not just ask Him?

Has anyone out there NOT asked God why terrible things happen to good Christians and innocent children while un-godly mugs like this average JOE skip through their lucky lives, well fed and comfortable while pointing out the fallacy of believing in gods that were invented in the last 1% of our species history?

Has anyone received an acceptable answer? If you have, please share!

 

[Christopher]

If you truly knew me, you would know how good a question you've just asked...

Why the hell NOT me?​

Aside from using the knowledge I gleaned from my youthful years as a Believer to point out how silly it now is to me, something strictly verboten I do believe, I'm a great guy. It's no wonder God cares.

My charmed life certainly attests to the fact. I found career quality work in a 13% unemployment county as a brand new resident to the state. Why ME, Lord?!? Sure... I have skills... but let's face facts: I am one LUCKY middle aged mutt who passes for white. Why me, Lord?!?

Now... If I could only figure out why the FUCK God would allow that child to be abused.....

Why not just ask Him?

Has anyone out there NOT asked God why terrible things happen to good Christians and innocent children while un-godly mugs like this average JOE skip through their lucky lives, well fed and comfortable while pointing out the fallacy of believing in gods that were invented in the last 1% of our species history?

Has anyone received an acceptable answer? If you have, please share!

Yes, I have. I will not go into specifics other than to say I had an experience which caused me to have the same question. I had reflected on the situation for a few hours, took a walk and afterwards just asked God openly "why". Immediately I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace, love, and compassion which I will never forget. I had my answer: "Be at peace."

 

[AVG-JOE]

Why not just ask Him?

Has anyone out there NOT asked God why terrible things happen to good Christians and innocent children while un-godly mugs like this average JOE skip through their lucky lives, well fed and comfortable while pointing out the fallacy of believing in gods that were invented in the last 1% of our species history?

Has anyone received an acceptable answer? If you have, please share!

Yes, I have. I will not go into specifics other than to say I had an experience which caused me to have the same question. I had reflected on the situation for a few hours, took a walk and afterwards just asked God openly "why". Immediately I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace, love, and compassion which I will never forget. I had my answer: "Be at peace."

As much as I appreciate your personal, and apparently heart-felt expression of your feelings by quote of this well used response to the question, in other words, I believe you are sincere, but I've heard that answer LOTS of times from a large and diverse group of sincere people, and I'm calling 'bullshit'.

If God IS, why is luck, both good and bad, an equal opportunity and overwhelmingly random gene which respects absolutely NOTHING concerning belief in a higher power?

"Why is THAT guy lucky and SHE's constantly getting crapped on?"

"Why does the Armor of God not prevent cancer?"​

The best answer I ever heard to this line of questioning was, "Compared to God, every last one of us is just as bad as Hitler and Wesley Alan Dodd combined, that's why it sometimes seems that you see unfair amounts of bad shit happen to good people."

Bullshit. Statistically, we SHOULD see unfair amounts of bad shit happening to good people, ass-u-me-ing that is, that most of us know more good people than we do assholes and infidels.

Compared to God, we're no better than Hitler and Dodd. I'll bet NOBODY truly believes that everyone they know should rate the same level of shame as those two worthless examples of what evolution and relative freedom can produce, not even knowing the one person they've known the longest and most intimately... not if they also believe we were created in Gods image.

My current mouth, along with my knowledge of correct Biblical attitude and the rules for 'right and wrong' SHOULD be combining with the underlying responsibility for that knowledge once you have it to result in a brief weather headline and a lightning statistic.

Yet here I sit, a lucky guy. Let alone the everyday good shit in my life like a slightly inconvenient warning on a pending critical part failure when there's plenty of time to deal with it and paid time off to stop the bleeding and get the repairs underway... When I think about the times I didn't get caught stupid handed when I could have.




Can an American believe that another American is an 'infidel' without tearing at the fabric of the Spirit behind 'America'?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Believe it or not, I wrote the above during a thunderstorm that produced 3" of rain in 25 minutes and popped at least 3 bolts of lightning on the property I run naked and free over. Summer in Florida is nothing if not exciting.

'tis true what you're thinking... the stones ain't 'average'.

 

[SmarterThanHick]

You have just hit on the most fundamental truth of all, that God cares. He doesn't care about the big things, or football games, he cares about people.

Unless you are playing in or betting on the football game and win. Then he cares.

God is not responsible for everything that happens on Earth

No, just the good things, like this. Cuz if the situation turned out poorly, then it wouldn't be because of god, but if it turns out good, it's definitely not coincidence.

Cuz he felt warm and at peace inside. After hearing voices. At 4am. In the dark. Right after dreaming.