I asked for a woman's telephone number for the first time in over 30 years...

[Blackrook]

Apparently, she wanted to go slow. After weeks of not responding to texts and not returning phone calls, broken plans, etc., the final chaste peck on the lips sealed the fate of that relationship.

 

[beautress]

The rules of dating have changed since I was in high school, and when you're old, you can have all the love in your heart, but you have to throw away your belief in God and his precepts, too. So I do hobbies, try to take care of myself, and try not to be a burden on my family. My children are in their fifties, and I'm so old-fashioned they don't speak to me. But to tell you the truth, the way they throw around the f-word, etc., I'm going to let them ignore me for the duration. They're hostile to the family church, both parents, although one is deceased, and their thema is "I never want to grow up." They also moved an average of 1300 miles away from home, so I moved back home to Texas 10 years ago, which is 1300 miles from one and 1320 miles from the other, each on opposite ends of the country. Being near the center didn't work, but that's history. They simply fly to see each other now and then to compare their respective current boy toys and other people's children. lol

I had one boyfriend, but he got lung cancer just after we started visiting each other, and he died a year later after suffering 8 months of the cruelest therapy I ever heard of at a VA Hospital called chemotherapy. He signed his life away with one of those "no resuscitation" papers. His family decided they weren't going to allow the doctor to do a new procedure that had a 60% chance to cure him, and instead they appointed the family RN to set up an in-home hospice, where he died 10 days later because he was only required to be "made comfortable" with drugs that impaired hunger, so he got no food, no water, etc. When I went and got a teaspoon of water to keep his mouth from getting dry, I was told that a few drops of water would cause him to drown or develop water in his already-ravaged lungs. So I was restricted to visit him, but only could stand a couple of hours a day, because it felt like I was dying, too. There was nothing I could do for him, except to try to smile and hold his hand if his eyes were open. He didn't say a single word for those 10 days, and it was sheer torture for me.

I made and delivered 10 quilt tops for his grandchildren, the last 6 were delivered yesterday, and other than that, the family has not said one word to me. He was buried in a family plot and it's a mess now, because he was the caretaker of the family cemetary, regularly mowed it for years, and now it's just in ruins with nobody caring for it. I just don't know what to do about it, but that's family business, and I'm not his next of kin. So, I'm moving on, working out at the gym to prevent health problems and back to making charity quilts, now that my promise to make the kids a quilt top apiece is done. I made 5 fireman quilts, because he was a volunteer firefighter for 44 years, and his stepson became the fire chief and retired recently. The girls all got pink and pretty quilts. The men in that family do not want women to fight fires. They think it would destroy their feminine health. And that's what they think, so I used up all the pink scraps I could find to make the girl quilts.

Mr. Blackrook, don't be discouraged. You're a guy, and you can get back to meeting anyone you want. Us girls who were raised with Victorian mores are just not in demand, but just have to learn everything when we become widows from taking out the trash on time to walking 1/4 mile to get the mailbox, mow pastures, and care for the animals of the household. My boyfriend had mood swings and was mad when I couldn't read his mind, since I haven't a clairvoyant thought in my mind, not ever. I think his medicines gave him mood swing problems, plus he had to eventually stop smoking, so that probably made him have his crabby days. Even so, I thought the world of him, and he repaired my mowing equipment from time to time which was nice, since picking up a screwdriver makes me get the shakes. lol. I'm learning to live by myself, and it's not all bad. And I stopped feeling sorry for myself after a couple of months, and have worked harder to make sure the mail is picked up and the garbage is put out, pain in the butt that it is, I just pile garbage in the back of the truck and hope I can remember to put it in the front garbage can before pickup day gets here. I hate it when I get to the store and notice I forgot to put the bags in the can. I really hate it.

 

[Yousaidwhat]

I feel good.

I've been carrying a torch for my ex-wife but I need to move on.

Move on...

Focus on her...

Do not bring up your Ex, and extinguish the torch.

 

[Blackrook]

I'm still trying to have a relationship with this woman, but it's difficult to make plans with someone has so much going on her life, mostly getting involved in her three adult childrens' lives, that she has no time for me.

Today, one of her adult children has a leaky roof so she has to be the one to make the repairs.

I have three adult children, and they don't require constant attention, so I'm wondering why hers do.

 

[Blackrook]

Well, this relationship appears to be over. She doesn't return my phone calls and texts. Time to move on.

 

[Butch_Coolidge]

Met her for coffee. She's just a few months younger than me, has three kids, all grown. She told me I'm "easy to talk to." She wants to take me to a concert.

Fingers crossed.

You were honest and upfront with her. You put yourself out there, and took a risk. Good for you. IMHO, better then wasting time on dating sites or trolling on Facebook. No games. Best of luck.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[DamnDude]

Well, this relationship appears to be over. She doesn't return my phone calls and texts. Time to move on.

Sadly, so many people my age, seem to put their adult children before their own well being. I don't understand it. I get wanting to be a big part of your childs life, be involved with grandchildren, but not tonthe detriment of your own (potential) happiness.

 

[Blackrook]

Well, I'm still trying. Today we had a short conversation on the telephone. She's making her daughter's Halloween costume.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Blackrook you seem to be smart enough to know and never expected to be First Chair in her string Section, but playing second fiddle gets old quick... I have been where you are and I felt it was hard enough to foster a relationship with a women, let alone her grown children... I couldn't do it and would never expect a women to play second fiddle to my children...
Some folks don't raise their children to stand very well on their own... Different strokes for different folks...

 

[Blackrook]

Well, we had plans Sunday night but she didn't show and she didn't even call to tell me why. I texted her asking for an explanation but she hasn't responded.

Enough of this, I'm ending this relationship.

 

[beautress]

Well, we had plans Sunday night but she didn't show and she didn't even call to tell me why. I texted her asking for an explanation but she hasn't responded.

Enough of this, I'm ending this relationship.

Bless you, Blackrook. I hope all goes well for you. I know that caring feelings do not go away overnight, but it's better if you put a little gold star on your calendar for every day you are not feeling connected. When you get 7 in a row, your windows open again and the fresh air can cure a lot of problems when you inhale it. Hang in there.

 

[Blackrook]

I called her today. She told me that her son almost died from an overdose, and she wanted to call me, but didn't know what to say.

There's really nothing I can do for her. Her life is full of so many problems, there really is no room for me.

 

[Andylusion]

...she was delivering pizza to my house. I thought she was cute so I asked her if she was married. She said no.

I asked her if she had a boyfriend, she said she did but her relationship was on the last legs.

I asked her if I asked her out would she go with me, and she said not right away because she doesn't want to be the "bad guy."

She asked me if I was married and I said "no, I'm not married."

I told her I thought she was cute, and she told me I'm not bad looking either.

I said, OK, well you know where I live, I know where you work and she left.

A friend said "It doesn't count if you don't get her number."

So I called the pizza restaurant and ordered three cheesecakes to get a minimum $10 order. I asked them to send the woman to deliver it, asking for her by name.

They asked if there was a problem with my order and I said "no."

The woman on the phone said "I'm the manager, is there a reason why you want her to deliver the cheese cake."

I said, "Yes, there is a reason."

They sent her with the cheese cake and I got her phone number.

We agreed that I will call her in two weeks, to give her time to break up with her boyfriend.

Sunday, the two weeks is up and I plan to call her.

Well, that's great. However if I were that manager I would have said, "I will give the delivery lady this message and have her call you back." I would NEVER have sent her back to your house with those cheesecakes. That has nothing to do with you, personally and everything to do with "a man" calling the store and asking for a female delivery person to come to his door.

Yeah.... in this crazy world, I can see that. However, I think the woman herself would likely not the job, if there was anything fishy.

Maybe I over estimate the value of a woman's intuition.

 

[Andylusion]

I'm still trying to have a relationship with this woman, but it's difficult to make plans with someone has so much going on her life, mostly getting involved in her three adult childrens' lives, that she has no time for me.

Today, one of her adult children has a leaky roof so she has to be the one to make the repairs.

I have three adult children, and they don't require constant attention, so I'm wondering why hers do.

Break it off. This is a bad deal for you. You already know why, if one is hooked on drugs. Her children are not in control, and she's playing savior.

This is going to go real bad for you, because you get with this chick, and now she's going to be asking you to fix her children too. Every time you get money, she's going to be asking you for it to fix their roof.

I know you didn't ask for advice, and if you don't want it, that's fine.... but I'm telling you... move on brother. This ain't the one for you.

 

[strollingbones]

you are forgetting the 3 rules of life....

dont eat at a place called mom's
dont play cards with a man called doc
and dont sleep with anyone who has more problems than you


you said she didnt sexually excite you which is odd you make that judgement from her holding onto your arm...and her manager should have had a male deliver that order....there is just so much wrong about all that...

 

[Blackrook]

I called her today and talked with her a while. Her son is OK, I guess that's a relief. She was complaining because she rented her apartment to a movie producer to film for two days, and then they kicked her out and she had to stay at her daughter's house. She ended up having to pay her roommate to put him up in a hotel. Seems to me she didn't really think things through before she made that agreement.

 

[strollingbones]

arent most of those 2 day rentals for houses ......unless she is listed in airnb or something like that...is for porn production....are you just hitting a tar baby here? looks like a lot of bad decisions are leading to regrets


spoken from the high road on my high horse with my perfect life......

 

[Blackrook]

I realize I started this thread on July 30 and it has become a diary of my relationship with this woman, who I will call "E" from now on.

Last night, E called me and then came over and for the first time we just hung out watching TV.

And, for the first time, we had a real kissing party.

I realize that I have never been this patient with any woman before. But, I have my reasons for being patient. E is my age, her children are grown, so I assume she won't be making demands that we start a new family with new children if things ever get that serious.

 

[evenflow1969]

...she was delivering pizza to my house. I thought she was cute so I asked her if she was married. She said no.

I asked her if she had a boyfriend, she said she did but her relationship was on the last legs.

I asked her if I asked her out would she go with me, and she said not right away because she doesn't want to be the "bad guy."

She asked me if I was married and I said "no, I'm not married."

I told her I thought she was cute, and she told me I'm not bad looking either.

I said, OK, well you know where I live, I know where you work and she left.

A friend said "It doesn't count if you don't get her number."

So I called the pizza restaurant and ordered three cheesecakes to get a minimum $10 order. I asked them to send the woman to deliver it, asking for her by name.

They asked if there was a problem with my order and I said "no."

The woman on the phone said "I'm the manager, is there a reason why you want her to deliver the cheese cake."

I said, "Yes, there is a reason."

They sent her with the cheese cake and I got her phone number.

We agreed that I will call her in two weeks, to give her time to break up with her boyfriend.

Sunday, the two weeks is up and I plan to call her.

After thirty years ya earn your freedom and can't wait to give it up again! I hope ya did all the golfing,fishing,hunting ,gambling and etc to get it out your system first. I am in a similar situation and am taking big advantage of the freedom. Maybe some day another relationship but doing what ever the hell I want wins for now!

 

[Blackrook]

I was about to give up on her, but she called me today and now the plan is she's coming over to watch TV with me after she gets off her job at nine.

We'll see if the plan goes through.