How to beat up women?

[anotherlife]

I love listening to morons talk about shit they don't know anything about.

How did you kill your boyfriend's favorite dog? Aren't you afraid that you will suffer like it suffered when you nailed the yamaka on its head?

 

[anotherlife]

I have spent time with a brutalized girl and learnt interesting things, maybe worth to share, for your thoughts.

Also, I could say that this works on children and men the same way, so not even gender specific.

Okay, so this is how it comes out. Looks like women's / people's minds are self contained in such a way, that the mind executes correlated reactions to largely uncorrelated environmental impacts. For example if someone threatens you, you respond based on what you would do if you weren't threatened.

But battered people don't build this correlation, because of the loss of their mental capacity. So, when battered, you will respond to the threat as per the threat itself, totally forgetting about yourself.

The result is, that you exist in as many versions as the number of threats you get, and your versions don't know about each other. This explains also, why every battered woman / child / man craves to go back for more beat downs.

As a conclusion to my finding, I would like to ask for your opinions, and in addition, whether it is more humane to euthanize battered people than subsidizing their little personal hells?

So are you saying, that if a child learns it's ok for themself to be hit without them responding, then they will form a cognitive response in the future, such as not fighting back when another adult assaults them?

No, but partly I am speculating, that being at the two ends of the spectrum is better than in the middle. If you are in the middle, you keep taking the abuse and keep living in it, with reduced mental capacity, and it lasts forever, and you lose. If you are at the strong end of it, you are capable of exploiting help and services, and come out of it, a winner. And if you are at the weak end of it, you si ply allow (or provoke?) the abuser to kill you, and you come out of it that way, a winner again. The middle of the spectrum seems to be the worst place and that's where most people are.

 

[The Great Goose]

I have spent time with a brutalized girl and learnt interesting things, maybe worth to share, for your thoughts.

Also, I could say that this works on children and men the same way, so not even gender specific.

Okay, so this is how it comes out. Looks like women's / people's minds are self contained in such a way, that the mind executes correlated reactions to largely uncorrelated environmental impacts. For example if someone threatens you, you respond based on what you would do if you weren't threatened.

But battered people don't build this correlation, because of the loss of their mental capacity. So, when battered, you will respond to the threat as per the threat itself, totally forgetting about yourself.

The result is, that you exist in as many versions as the number of threats you get, and your versions don't know about each other. This explains also, why every battered woman / child / man craves to go back for more beat downs.

As a conclusion to my finding, I would like to ask for your opinions, and in addition, whether it is more humane to euthanize battered people than subsidizing their little personal hells?

So are you saying, that if a child learns it's ok for themself to be hit without them responding, then they will form a cognitive response in the future, such as not fighting back when another adult assaults them?

No, but partly I am speculating, that being at the two ends of the spectrum is better than in the middle. If you are in the middle, you keep taking the abuse and keep living in it, with reduced mental capacity, and it lasts forever, and you lose. If you are at the strong end of it, you are capable of exploiting help and services, and come out of it, a winner. And if you are at the weak end of it, you si ply allow (or provoke?) the abuser to kill you, and you come out of it that way, a winner again. The middle of the spectrum seems to be the worst place and that's where most people are.

well, being brutalized leaves you defensive and untrusting. I suppose thats the middle ground you speak of. You believe there is no other reality for you. You defy that reality, but lose because you believe in that reality.

 

[anotherlife]

The person being abused most of the time is abused emotionally as well, where they almost feel like if they change a behavior the abuser will stop hurting them.
They are so emotionally beat down that they feel hopeless that they would never make it on their own because of the degrading the abuser does.
Taking back the abuser is usually because they feel the abuser will change , most of the times the attacks become more frequent and severe.
.

Very interesting. So, it seems that their reality and mental functioning gets preconditioned by the abuser. I have never heard of a successful cure to restore them. What should we do with these "victims"?

Pre- 1990's there really wasn't the support, or outreach so the abuse was continued. Cops rarely even responded to domestic abuse , and the abuser rarely went to jail. Thanks to new laws and awareness abuse is now a crime and the perpetrator is convicted.

Just like any situation or condition~ Hope!
Many of the victims are isolated and made to feel that it is their fault, or full of fear by the threatened beatings. Many survive and get away, and sad to say many die.

Support groups and counseling can help a person move on and have a productive life, some continue the behavior onto the next generation.




.

What puzzles me the most about her is that her person is different as per the abuse. For example, she says that she will pick up some stuff, comes for it, then begins talking about something that bothers her, and within one minute she moves on, forgetting what she came for. This happens when she thinks threatened, but there is no visible reason, other then her occasional black and blue spots, and that I know the bully somewhat who she is with. When I remind her what she came for, she has no recollection, and tells me that she mustn't be late from home. This seems like proof to me that she is defined by the abuse, as per my description in the OP.

What you're describing sounds like someone under severe stress who needs professional help in addition to the support you're trying to give her. I'd recommend you get in touch with whatever services are available in your area and describe what you've observed.

What can happen to her, considering the stress, if she gets no help?

The person being abused most of the time is abused emotionally as well, where they almost feel like if they change a behavior the abuser will stop hurting them.
They are so emotionally beat down that they feel hopeless that they would never make it on their own because of the degrading the abuser does.
Taking back the abuser is usually because they feel the abuser will change , most of the times the attacks become more frequent and severe.
.

Very interesting. So, it seems that their reality and mental functioning gets preconditioned by the abuser. I have never heard of a successful cure to restore them. What should we do with these "victims"?

Pre- 1990's there really wasn't the support, or outreach so the abuse was continued. Cops rarely even responded to domestic abuse , and the abuser rarely went to jail. Thanks to new laws and awareness abuse is now a crime and the perpetrator is convicted.

Just like any situation or condition~ Hope!
Many of the victims are isolated and made to feel that it is their fault, or full of fear by the threatened beatings. Many survive and get away, and sad to say many die.

Support groups and counseling can help a person move on and have a productive life, some continue the behavior onto the next generation.




.

This. Plus there are often financial considerations. The abuser may have forced the abused to quit her job (or inflicted so many injuries that she's had to take so sick days and she can't hold onto a job).

The problem's complicated if she has kids. Where can she go, what can she do, to protect her kids from abuse?

But, yes, there is more support outside the abusive situation than there used to be, so there is hope.

The problem is twofold, though. The abused needs to be aware that help exists, and then has to seek out that help. Doctors and ER personnel are more attuned to the signs of abuse and can ask questions and offer support.

But, as you say, often the abused is so beaten down she thinks "I deserve this" and goes back to the abuser.

This is not limited to women. Men are also victims of abuse, but societal norms make it even harder for them to admit it and seek help.

I think you are quite right that men and children fall under this too sometimes. Children because their mother convinces her boyfriend to beat on them instead of on her, and men because they were beaten as children. Interestingly, I saw a TV program some time ago, where this interviewer went to the army, and recorded some soldiers explaining in detail how they were abused at childhood.

There are alarming statistics on the correlation between violent crime and child abuse as well.

Yes. I heard that most of the population in prisons and the homeless are of abused background.

 

[anotherlife]

The person being abused most of the time is abused emotionally as well, where they almost feel like if they change a behavior the abuser will stop hurting them.
They are so emotionally beat down that they feel hopeless that they would never make it on their own because of the degrading the abuser does.
Taking back the abuser is usually because they feel the abuser will change , most of the times the attacks become more frequent and severe.
.

Very interesting. So, it seems that their reality and mental functioning gets preconditioned by the abuser. I have never heard of a successful cure to restore them. What should we do with these "victims"?

Pre- 1990's there really wasn't the support, or outreach so the abuse was continued. Cops rarely even responded to domestic abuse , and the abuser rarely went to jail. Thanks to new laws and awareness abuse is now a crime and the perpetrator is convicted.

Just like any situation or condition~ Hope!
Many of the victims are isolated and made to feel that it is their fault, or full of fear by the threatened beatings. Many survive and get away, and sad to say many die.

Support groups and counseling can help a person move on and have a productive life, some continue the behavior onto the next generation.




.

What puzzles me the most about her is that her person is different as per the abuse. For example, she says that she will pick up some stuff, comes for it, then begins talking about something that bothers her, and within one minute she moves on, forgetting what she came for. This happens when she thinks threatened, but there is no visible reason, other then her occasional black and blue spots, and that I know the bully somewhat who she is with. When I remind her what she came for, she has no recollection, and tells me that she mustn't be late from home. This seems like proof to me that she is defined by the abuse, as per my description in the OP.

What you're describing sounds like someone under severe stress who needs professional help in addition to the support you're trying to give her. I'd recommend you get in touch with whatever services are available in your area and describe what you've observed.

If she is under sever stress, like you say, and she gets no help, then what outcomes can happen to her?

 

[The Great Goose]

I love listening to morons talk about shit they don't know anything about.

How did you kill your boyfriend's favorite dog? Aren't you afraid that you will suffer like it suffered when you nailed the yamaka on its head?

She had affairs onher husband. She's crazy.

 

[anotherlife]

I love listening to morons talk about shit they don't know anything about.

How did you kill your boyfriend's favorite dog? Aren't you afraid that you will suffer like it suffered when you nailed the yamaka on its head?

She had affairs onher husband. She's crazy.

That must suck for her husband. So I might have been right then, she abuses her husband. Hehehe.

 

[The Great Goose]

I love listening to morons talk about shit they don't know anything about.

How did you kill your boyfriend's favorite dog? Aren't you afraid that you will suffer like it suffered when you nailed the yamaka on its head?

She had affairs onher husband. She's crazy.

That must suck for her husband. So I might have been right then, she abuses her husband. Hehehe.

She is a very intersexual transsexual. Like most transsexuals, shes clinically depressed and unfullfilled. Shes also an alcoholic.

 

[anotherlife]

I love listening to morons talk about shit they don't know anything about.

How did you kill your boyfriend's favorite dog? Aren't you afraid that you will suffer like it suffered when you nailed the yamaka on its head?

She had affairs onher husband. She's crazy.

That must suck for her husband. So I might have been right then, she abuses her husband. Hehehe.

She is a very intersexual transsexual. Like most transsexuals, shes clinically depressed and unfullfilled. Shes also an alcoholic.

I wonder why she is not writing any replies any more.

 

[The Great Goose]

I love listening to morons talk about shit they don't know anything about.

How did you kill your boyfriend's favorite dog? Aren't you afraid that you will suffer like it suffered when you nailed the yamaka on its head?

She had affairs onher husband. She's crazy.

That must suck for her husband. So I might have been right then, she abuses her husband. Hehehe.

She is a very intersexual transsexual. Like most transsexuals, shes clinically depressed and unfullfilled. Shes also an alcoholic.

I wonder why she is not writing any replies any more.

Passed out.

 

[Arianrhod]

The person being abused most of the time is abused emotionally as well, where they almost feel like if they change a behavior the abuser will stop hurting them.
They are so emotionally beat down that they feel hopeless that they would never make it on their own because of the degrading the abuser does.
Taking back the abuser is usually because they feel the abuser will change , most of the times the attacks become more frequent and severe.
.

Very interesting. So, it seems that their reality and mental functioning gets preconditioned by the abuser. I have never heard of a successful cure to restore them. What should we do with these "victims"?

Pre- 1990's there really wasn't the support, or outreach so the abuse was continued. Cops rarely even responded to domestic abuse , and the abuser rarely went to jail. Thanks to new laws and awareness abuse is now a crime and the perpetrator is convicted.

Just like any situation or condition~ Hope!
Many of the victims are isolated and made to feel that it is their fault, or full of fear by the threatened beatings. Many survive and get away, and sad to say many die.

Support groups and counseling can help a person move on and have a productive life, some continue the behavior onto the next generation.




.

What puzzles me the most about her is that her person is different as per the abuse. For example, she says that she will pick up some stuff, comes for it, then begins talking about something that bothers her, and within one minute she moves on, forgetting what she came for. This happens when she thinks threatened, but there is no visible reason, other then her occasional black and blue spots, and that I know the bully somewhat who she is with. When I remind her what she came for, she has no recollection, and tells me that she mustn't be late from home. This seems like proof to me that she is defined by the abuse, as per my description in the OP.

What you're describing sounds like someone under severe stress who needs professional help in addition to the support you're trying to give her. I'd recommend you get in touch with whatever services are available in your area and describe what you've observed.

If she is under sever stress, like you say, and she gets no help, then what outcomes can happen to her?

I'm not a therapist, and even if I were I wouldn't attempt to assess someone without meeting them, but just from a layman's observation, this may be the best her life gets.