High tolerance from pain? RA?

[koshergrl]

KG..I can't take motrin and anti inflammatories. It wrecks havoc on my large intestines due to the diverticulus.
Never in all my life have I had skin probs, but the past 4 years, I have psoriasis. Under my arms, under my one boob, behind my ears and a few patches on my scalp. I have a medicated RX shampoo for it, but I found that apple cider vinegar helps better. And coconut oil now and then for conditioning. I want that to go away too! So whatever foods I can eat that will help stop all this...I plan to try.

I have vicodins, but I only take half of one every night. I take melatonin to help me sleep, the vicodin just as I head to bed. And yes, I stop both for about a week, then start in again. It helps to clean out the system and you don't get all immune to what they do for ya.
I used to take xanax, but I got such a pileon about that, I quit. The melatonin, soaking hands in really warm water, and the half a vic does wonders.

Wish I had one of those infinity pools. Heated. Ahhhhhh. Hell, even a jacuzzi.

Vinegar will help with yeast rashes and secondary issues with psoriasis...but it is just topical. If I cut out carbs, my psoriasis recedes almost into nonexistence...so do the physical symptoms of anxiety. But...that's a lifestyle change I haven't been able to embrace. Yet.

 

[koshergrl]

Oh, yeah....I was really in a depressed state not long ago, and was looking at fast and easy SURE FIRE ways to off myself, when Mr Gracie came in the room and said "whatcha looking at?" and I said "I don't want to be dependent on you and if I get to where I have to rely on you to wipe my ass, I'm offing myself". So what does he say? He says "make sure you leave a note so I don't be seen as a suspect of a murder, make sure you leave your car where it is undamaged so I can sell it, and do try not to make too much of a mess".

Good grief he's given it some thought.

Oh well, haven't we all. I have a fantasy (and it makes me deeply ashamed) that my kids' dad is killed by a train, and we get 1300 bucks a month death benefit for the next five years.

I just know the prick will get himself killed the day AFTER the youngest turns 18, and is no longer eligible.

 

[Gracie]

Oh, yeah....I was really in a depressed state not long ago, and was looking at fast and easy SURE FIRE ways to off myself, when Mr Gracie came in the room and said "whatcha looking at?" and I said "I don't want to be dependent on you and if I get to where I have to rely on you to wipe my ass, I'm offing myself". So what does he say? He says "make sure you leave a note so I don't be seen as a suspect of a murder, make sure you leave your car where it is undamaged so I can sell it, and do try not to make too much of a mess".

Good grief he's given it some thought.

Oh well, haven't we all. I have a fantasy (and it makes me deeply ashamed) that my kids' dad is killed by a train, and we get 1300 bucks a month death benefit for the next five years.

I just know the prick will get himself killed the day AFTER the youngest turns 18, and is no longer eligible.

Men. Pffffffffft. I said "I'm taking my car with me. Off the cliff. Sell something else".

 

[Gracie]

Sigh. For dinner tonight, I just ate a can of tuna in oil (drained of course), and cup of green tea with 1 tsp of sugar. Yuck. I'm used to 2 heaping tablespoons of sugar. But its a big assed cup, too. Still....yuck.
I am determined to back off on the sugar, though. Been looking at allrecipes.com and found a lot of paleo desserts that look yummy. If the sweet tooth starts in....oy. I might have to eat a spoonful of honey. Which is sugar too, in a way. Until I find something I can tolerate that is SWEET.

 

[Gracie]

Some of this I can eat. The stuff with bacon, no can do. Can't have fat due to the diverticulus.

Eating air. Trinity named it perfectly.

Anyway..here is a host of paleo diets from allrecipes.com if anyone wants to take a gander.

Paleo Diet

 

[TrinityPower]

Sigh. For dinner tonight, I just ate a can of tuna in oil (drained of course), and cup of green tea with 1 tsp of sugar. Yuck. I'm used to 2 heaping tablespoons of sugar. But its a big assed cup, too. Still....yuck.
I am determined to back off on the sugar, though. Been looking at allrecipes.com and found a lot of paleo desserts that look yummy. If the sweet tooth starts in....oy. I might have to eat a spoonful of honey. Which is sugar too, in a way. Until I find something I can tolerate that is SWEET.

Oh no NO...don't eat tuna..stay way away from it. Mercury content is very high in fish.
I have not thought to off myself but there was a time that I mentally planned out my funeral and arrangements so as to not be a burden on my family. I had good reason. I can't explain the feeling...well it isn't a feeling just a state of being knowing the end is near. I was incredibly sick and my blood work reflected it. My ex said he wasn't alarmed about it and didn't believe the doc when he said my white count was >1 and if I got so much as a cold that I could not be saved. I am 5'6" and weighed 95 pounds and shrinking, my skin was an elvira shade of white and I could hardly walk but by golly he said it was all in my mind mostly because I was still able to do laundry and dishes...it took me literally all day to fold a load of clothes and empty the dishwasher. Said it was my choice to lay there and do nothing.

Been there with the toilet thing...have had to be carried to the bathroom in the night to pee and hardly able to care for myself. I remember having to ask for help to wash my hair because I could not lift my arms. Getting dresses myself was impossible. I had to be dressed like a rag doll every day and situated into a car and driven to work to work for 10 hours and I was getting a total of maybe MAYBE 2 hours sleep total a night....this went on for months and months. There was also not a reprieve from wifely duties either. I was basically positioned and used. I went to places in my mind to mentally survive. As soon as I could get well enough I left the marriage. I went through a lot of mental anguish and physical pain to stay off commercial drugs. Much more than most people can tolerate. After all that birth labor was uncomfortable but not unbearable. Everything takes an iron focus to overcome. Natural way is rough, at least it was for me. It isn't for the faint of heart of low pain threshold.

 

[TrinityPower]

As far as the toes go you can get silicone (I think that is what they are made of) toe spacers at Walgreens for about $5. They keep your toes from rubbing together and bending so fast. I have worn them for years. They don't stop them from bending but they do stop blisters forming from toes squishing together. My feet are so bent that if I could bear it in the arches I would just wear my shoes on the opposite feet. Sandals look crazy funny on me and most shoes I just can't get my feet into.

 

[Gracie]

Like I said..you are one tough lady. I admire you and your umph.
If I ever got that far...I wouldn't stick around. But you have a child to live for, too. I have nobody except my dog. Once she goes..all bets are off cuz being alone...and if something happened to Mr Gracie and I wound up in some home with strangers...helpless? Oh hayell no.

 

[Gracie]

As far as the toes go you can get silicone (I think that is what they are made of) toe spacers at Walgreens for about $5. They keep your toes from rubbing together and bending so fast. I have worn them for years. They don't stop them from bending but they do stop blisters forming from toes squishing together. My feet are so bent that if I could bear it in the arches I would just wear my shoes on the opposite feet. Sandals look crazy funny on me and most shoes I just can't get my feet into.

Yer gonna laugh at this...but I use used cig butts twixt my toes. Its just the two in the middle next to the pinky, but they aren;t bent (yet) although they are crammed together. The butt works just fine. I bought those spacer things but they bugged me.

 

[TrinityPower]

I have tried to explain the many reasons I have the avatar that I do. Mostly it is a badge of honor as a survivor but unless one has had a chronic disease they do not understand. Thanks for the compliments though lol

 

[TrinityPower]

I used make up sponges before that I cut to fit. I have learned to be creative and make something that works

 

[Gracie]

I used rubber bands, cut ace bandages into small strips, wore flipflops where the center thingy went between the two toes instead of my big toe, and finally decided a rolled up something that has some flex to it, was soft, and let the air in nicely would be best..and lo and behold....my cig butt did just fine. Been doing it ever since.

 

[TrinityPower]

People do not understand how much goes into doing things either. If I miss a step in planning to shower like not take my socks off sitting on the bed then it is a problem. I have to go back to square one and delay my task. The short term memory loss is a problem. There is so much in front of your face to remember that everyone takes for granted that extra things to ponder become a distant memory. Every day you have to figure out a different way to do something if it can be done. No one really understands that if you miss a step in a process it takes a long time and everything takes so long that you have to pace everything out to the point where you have to get up yesterday to get something done for tomorrow

 

[koshergrl]

Oh, yeah....I was really in a depressed state not long ago, and was looking at fast and easy SURE FIRE ways to off myself, when Mr Gracie came in the room and said "whatcha looking at?" and I said "I don't want to be dependent on you and if I get to where I have to rely on you to wipe my ass, I'm offing myself". So what does he say? He says "make sure you leave a note so I don't be seen as a suspect of a murder, make sure you leave your car where it is undamaged so I can sell it, and do try not to make too much of a mess".

Good grief he's given it some thought.

Oh well, haven't we all. I have a fantasy (and it makes me deeply ashamed) that my kids' dad is killed by a train, and we get 1300 bucks a month death benefit for the next five years.

I just know the prick will get himself killed the day AFTER the youngest turns 18, and is no longer eligible.

Men. Pffffffffft. I said "I'm taking my car with me. Off the cliff. Sell something else".

"Oh honey, did you think I was going alone??? You first, then I follow. That way you won't have to suffer through my absence"

 

[Gracie]

Oh, I hear ya about that!!! Mr Gracie doesn't get it either. He has arthritis in his knee and eats vicodins like candy. Won't wear a knee brace, and just trudges along. But I know when it is really hurting him cuz he sits there and rubs and rubs and rubs it.

One day, when I asked him to open a jar for me (I have an electric opener now) he sighed, rolled his eyes and said "it isn't THAT bad, is it?" and I said "ok. It's my imagination. Meanwhile, go fix your own supper, but when you go to the kitchen, crawl on your bad knee. Oh, and when you want me to fetch somethng for you and I don't groan from the pain, YOU get it..on your fucking KNEE". I thought I saw a faint outline of a lightbulb go off over his head, too. Faintly. It didn't stay lit.

(gotta laugh at this shit. Or go crazy. Or off yerself. I choose to laugh at it for now).

 

[Gracie]

Oh, yeah....I was really in a depressed state not long ago, and was looking at fast and easy SURE FIRE ways to off myself, when Mr Gracie came in the room and said "whatcha looking at?" and I said "I don't want to be dependent on you and if I get to where I have to rely on you to wipe my ass, I'm offing myself". So what does he say? He says "make sure you leave a note so I don't be seen as a suspect of a murder, make sure you leave your car where it is undamaged so I can sell it, and do try not to make too much of a mess".

Good grief he's given it some thought.

Oh well, haven't we all. I have a fantasy (and it makes me deeply ashamed) that my kids' dad is killed by a train, and we get 1300 bucks a month death benefit for the next five years.

I just know the prick will get himself killed the day AFTER the youngest turns 18, and is no longer eligible.

Men. Pffffffffft. I said "I'm taking my car with me. Off the cliff. Sell something else".

"Oh honey, did you think I was going alone??? You first, then I follow. That way you won't have to suffer through my absence"

I added that I was gonna take the dogs with me cuz HE won't feed them or pick up their poop. The look on his face.....priceless. And fear.

 

[TrinityPower]

Always work with your body and do what you can when you can. It is all you can do. It was a lesson in patience and still is on my part. One must have a will of iron to go the natural route and have a motivation and ambition of a V8 engine to endure it. I push myself too hard but I had to do so to survive. My ex husband didn't care if I lived or died. I lived to spite him. He resented when I got better from just the steroids and other supplements. Flat out blunt told me he resented it because I could resist him doing his business. He flourished in my weakness and preyed upon me at my worst...when I had high fevers and pain so great I weeped. I endured what he did to me but there were times I wanted to be taken from this life and see my mother again but I needed to stay and get my daughter out of that house and environment and finally did so. He told me I would never be able to hold my own without his financial backing, I would never be able to keep a house clean even though I did so when I was almost dead, he said I couldn't do a lot of things but I did and I give all the glory to God for it.

 

[TrinityPower]

Oh, I hear ya about that!!! Mr Gracie doesn't get it either. He has arthritis in his knee and eats vicodins like candy. Won't wear a knee brace, and just trudges along. But I know when it is really hurting him cuz he sits there and rubs and rubs and rubs it.

One day, when I asked him to open a jar for me (I have an electric opener now) he sighed, rolled his eyes and said "it isn't THAT bad, is it?" and I said "ok. It's my imagination. Meanwhile, go fix your own supper, but when you go to the kitchen, crawl on your bad knee. Oh, and when you want me to fetch somethng for you and I don't groan from the pain, YOU get it..on your fucking KNEE". I thought I saw a faint outline of a lightbulb go off over his head, too. Faintly. It didn't stay lit.

(gotta laugh at this shit. Or go crazy. Or off yerself. I choose to laugh at it for now).

My ex has no empathy for someone in pain...AT ALL. I have always been in demand to do more and if I needed a jar opened to make HIS dinner or needed a baking dish gotten his response was to barge in the kitchen and bark "WHAT THE PISS IS YOUR PROBLEM IN HERE" He also flat out told me that my cost of him "helping me out" in the kitchen by getting pans and opening things was the use of my body at his whim. Defined that as marriage. No words of love and treasure etc said marriage is helping each other out. I asked what that means to him. He said well when I do something for you in the kitchen or have to help out somehow with the kid I get to use you as payment. I said "oh I see" I knew it was over at that point and there was no reason to stay in that union. It was 4 years before I was healthy enough to get out

 

[TrinityPower]

He refused to move out of the house. I had to find a place, get new stuff of my own because he threw a fit for taking even extra stuff we had from years past we never opened as wedding gifts, get a new $3600 bed...you name it. I even had to buy a new bed and dresser for our daughter, I bought all the furniture and cookware etc...everything he now kept in that house. I had to start completely over but you know what? God blessed me with a home to buy and the place came furnished...cookware, dishes etc EVERYTHING. People declare there is no God, they are missing out and their loss. My God provided for me and blessed me and has been my refuge and strength. The whole story alone with this house is a testament of God's greatness. Do I have a disease yes but I focus on my blessings instead and praise God I have another day to testify

 

[Gracie]

No words can express what I am thinking. Just one will suffice. Admiration.

Mr Gracie is very stoic, so emotion from him is rare and far between. But he cares. He just won't say so. He shows it better than saying it. He swapped out all the doornobs with lever ones, found me BIG utensils for easier grasping, lightweight pans for cooking, doesn't mind microwaved burritos and if I feel good and my hands are behaving I will cook him a steak. He's a good guy, so I am lucky.