Have to speak candidly, I was assaulted by my wife and she was arrested. Advice please, even to those who disagree with me.

[shockedcanadian]

Sorry to hear that. Do you have children?

Not that I know of, no.

On this issue, she couldn't ever succeed with her ovulation kits when we were trying, I still stayed with her,

 

[SweetSue92]

Not that I know of, no.

On this issue, she couldn't ever succeed with her ovulation kits when we were trying, I still stayed with her,

There's a lot of "should have" from you in this thread. That's most likely unhelpful. You have two days in front of you: today and tomorrow. If you want your tomorrow to be better, think about what needs doing today. No sense looking back.

 

[shockedcanadian]

There's a lot of "should have" from you in this thread. That's most likely unhelpful. You have two days in front of you: today and tomorrow. If you want your tomorrow to be better, think about what needs doing today. No sense looking back.

What would you advise to a broke, unemployed man living alone with his aging dog?

Not only am I dealing with what I'm dealing with emotionally, but I have other fears and concerns because she is doing what she had threatened to do for a long time.

 

[SweetSue92]

What would you advise to a broke, unemployed man living alone with his aging dog?

Not only am I dealing with what I'm dealing with emotionally, but I have other fears and concerns because she is doing what she had threatened to do for a long time.

Well then stay with her I guess. I don't know

 

[shockedcanadian]

Well then stay with her I guess. I don't know

It's just that I took a vow. My guess is that I will be railroaded in this case, I felt this the moment I saw her with a sling at my house. I literally just firmly pushed her and she acted after as if I shot her.

Also, I am coming to the realization that even if she loved me dearly, which I imagine she still has feelings even as she used to regularly attack me verbally and otherwise of course; her family would forbid it. They are surrounding her now, cursing me up and down, their only goal will be to destroy me I'm sure.

So my personal feelings are juxtaposed to my concerns about her legal/family resources

 

[Man of Ethics]

It's just that I took a vow. My guess is that I will be railroaded in this case, I felt this the moment I saw her with a sling at my house. I literally just firmly pushed her and she acted after as if I shot her.

Also, I am coming to the realization that even if she loved me dearly, which I imagine she still has feelings even as she used to regularly attack me verbally and otherwise of course; her family would forbid it. They are surrounding her now, cursing me up and down, their only goal will be to destroy me I'm sure.

So my personal feelings are juxtaposed to my concerns about her legal/family resources

You must escape.

You have to talk to someone who is an expert. I am not an expert, thus I can not give any good advice.

 

[shockedcanadian]

You must escape.

You have to talk to someone who is an expert. I am not an expert, thus I can not give any good advice.

You don't need to be an expert to give some advice though. It may not be perfect, but none of us are.

I just need a place to get some ideas, this site has been my home for over a decade.

 

[Vastator]

You don't need to be an expert to give some advice though. It may not be perfect, but none of us are.

I just need a place to get some ideas, this site has been my home for over a decade.

Most people have told you the same thing. Divorce. The first to file has a major advantage. Time to be a big boy, and put your emotions aside. The facts don't align with your feelings. Take action, and deal with your feelings in your down time. You think she's viscious now? Just wait till your sitting across the table from her at a divorce mediation that she initiated. You ain't seen nothing yet...

 

[Man of Ethics]

You don't need to be an expert to give some advice though. It may not be perfect, but none of us are.

I just need a place to get some ideas, this site has been my home for over a decade.

I can only support you emotionally, but I can not give legal or even practical advice.

May be you can contact helplines and forums for men specifically, but I am not even sure how safe big Social Media is.

Fortunately, I have learned about the horrible reality from books and Internet sources.

 

[shockedcanadian]

Most people have told you the same thing. Divorce. The first to file has a major advantage. Time to be a big boy, and put your emotions aside. The facts don't align with your feelings. Take action, and deal with your feelings in your down time. You think she's viscious now? Just wait till your sitting across the table from her at a divorce mediation that she initiated. You ain't seen nothing yet...

It is what it is. A man has to stick to his principles,

 

[Man of Ethics]

It is what it is. A man has to stick to his principles,

By being abusive, your wife broke all vows of marriage.

You must escape -- it will only get worse.

 

[luiza]

Gambling addict and bully

Baby Jesus might help her but you cannot .

Leave her and get yourself a real life .

Stop thinking about Love and start thinking about Stupidity .

 

[shockedcanadian]

Gambling addict and bully

Baby Jesus might help her but you cannot .

Leave her and get yourself a real life .

Stop thinking about Love and start thinking about Stupidity .

I am working through counselling soon. Maybe this will change my perspective.

Listen, I get it, I do. I would have said "this guy is crazy" 20 years ago. I can't explain the symptoms, they are just confounding, my body literally feels different. I now know firsthand what I had read about in university.

With age comes wisdom, and/or perspective. You become a little softer but also more flexible. This confuses ones mind and emotions.

 

[luiza]

I am working through counselling soon. Maybe this will change my perspective.

Listen, I get it, I do. I would have said "this guy is crazy" 20 years ago. I can't explain the symptoms, they are just confounding, my body literally feels different. I now know firsthand what I had read about in university.

With age comes wisdom, and/or perspective. You become a little softer but also more flexible. This confuses ones mind and emotions.

My opinion is just one among a multitude , although I do have some relevant background , albeit educational rather than from anything else .

I suggest you leave her gambling addiction to her and specialists .

Concentrate on the bullying and a good counsellor can help, though few can be found .

Look at your behaviour and examine your attitudes and "motivation" toward being bullied and the reasons you take and perhaps fail to take to avoid being bullied and those you inadvertently take which perhaps encourage being bullied . Certainly permit it .

Good luck.

 

[JohnDB]

First off,

You need to stop protecting and defending her.
She is not your friend.
She does not love you.
She is using you.
She doesn't respect you.

If a complete stranger did these things to you it would be bad for her. Just because you know her doesn't license her behavior anymore than it would a complete stranger's.

You claim loyalty but what you claim as loyalty is not loyalty but is instead is Stockholm syndrome.

Your marriage has been over for a long time to get to this point...but like a mindless zombie you keep it going. And it will get worse. That's the cycle of abuse. It will incrementally escalate until she kills you in a fit of rage. That's what the dance of anger is all about.

And don't even claim God approves of abuse...He doesn't. He hates abuse more than divorce and would rather you get divorced than suffer abuse. (That's the full meaning of the Malachi passage) Also men could marry multiple women. The woman at the well had 5 past husband's and was currently just shacked up when Jesus talked to her. So let's not even claim that He will stop listening to you because you get Divorced.

 

[shockedcanadian]

First off,

You need to stop protecting and defending her.
She is not your friend.
She does not love you.
She is using you.
She doesn't respect you.

If a complete stranger did these things to you it would be bad for her. Just because you know her doesn't license her behavior anymore than it would a complete stranger's.

You claim loyalty but what you claim as loyalty is not loyalty but is instead is Stockholm syndrome.

Your marriage has been over for a long time to get to this point...but like a mindless zombie you keep it going. And it will get worse. That's the cycle of abuse. It will incrementally escalate until she kills you in a fit of rage. That's what the dance of anger is all about.

And don't even claim God approves of abuse...He doesn't. He hates abuse more than divorce and would rather you get divorced than suffer abuse. (That's the full meaning of the Malachi passage) Also men could marry multiple women. The woman at the well had 5 past husband's and was currently just shacked up when Jesus talked to her. So let's not even claim that He will stop listening to you because you get Divorced.

I think "what would the police do, the very people involved in this matter; to such a person who accosted them on the street as she did to me"? The same people who visited our home that day would have made sure she didn't come back after them, they'd use fists and then arrest her.

As my friend said, "you were lying passively on the couch, you were not a threat at all and she attacked you".

Worse for my wife, is that she took a little kangaroo swing at me as I shoved her, trying to hit me but missed. Like a Terminator she went around into the kitchen, cut me off from going downstairs and hit me with her cane and knicked me on my forehead.

I always have to be passive, but clearly I didn't prevent her from coming back at me. She is my wife, she is a woman and I don't trust the system that seems to dislike me.

 

[Vastator]

I think "what would the police do, the very people involved in this matter; to such a person who accosted them on the street as she did to me"? The same people who visited our home that day would have made sure she didn't come back after them, they'd use fists and then arrest her.

As my friend said, "you were lying passively on the couch, you were not a threat at all and she attacked you".

Worse for my wife, is that she took a little kangaroo swing at me as I shoved her, trying to hit me but missed. Like a Terminator she went around into the kitchen, cut me off from going downstairs and hit me with her cane and knicked me on my forehead.

I always have to be passive, but clearly I didn't prevent her from coming back at me. She is my wife, she is a woman and I don't trust the system that seems to dislike me.

Quit pandering for attention. You know what needs to be done. Do it. Or at least be a man, preserve your stoicism, and internalize it. Either way… Handle your shit!

 

[shockedcanadian]

Quit pandering for attention. You know what needs to be done. Do it. Or at least be a man, preserve your stoicism, and internalize it. Either way… Handle your shit!

Why are you so hostile? Life isn't simple, it's alot of grey

 

[surada]

We've both been under a great deal of stress of late, she has been worse due to her gambling addiction, The assaults against me have been going on for years and even though she warned me a number of times if I ever called the police that she would accuse me of beating her, I was forced to call them this time.

I don't want her charged as I believe even after so many attacks on me over the years that, "I married her and took a vow to God" and I try to see it through (my grandfather was the same way). The police said that they are now mandated to charge someone with assault even if they just break a phone!

Due to her extreme reaction when I pushed her away, giving myself some space as I didn't want to be punched by her, I am weary of the aftermath as she came by to pick up her stuff, with police escort and her arm was in a sling. How is it possible for her to be in a sling when all I did was push her?

She stated to the cops that I damaged her arm when they came, but it seems REALLY far-fetched and she attacked me twice while I was lying passively on the couch. Unless it is just inflammation, my suspicions will be firm that it was a screw job at the hospital. There is no way I dislocated her arm for instance, not even if I punched someone am I that strong.

It's ironic too, because after I pushed her away from me, she went around into the kitchen and blocked my way to leaving for downstairs to get away from the situation. She threw a utensil at me and used TWO arms to stab me hard with her cane, which lead to pain to this day (it happened Thurs).

She did not want me to call and pulled the phone out so that I had to recall.

What would one do if the police decide that i am the aggressor and charge me? I am in our home, she is removed. With my bad experienced with the covert ops here, I am never calm even when I know I am in the right,

Leave.

 

[Vastator]

Why are you so hostile? Life isn't simple, it's alot of grey

The only time things seem gray; is when one isn’t looking closely, or clearly enough. Newspapers look gray, put a magnifying glass to them… One quickly sees that it’s nothing more than intermingled black, and white. You, are responsible for your fate, no matter what hand you are dealt, or choose to settle for. A victim mentality; produces a victim 100% of the time…