Halloween Orange: Seasonal Disease

Abishai100

VIP Member
Sep 22, 2013
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This is a Halloween season festive-fable inspired by Sweeney Todd and dedicated to our 'customs-drenched' TrumpUSA.

I didn't put it in the Writing section of USMB, since I wanted to post a simple Halloween 'prayer' in the General Discussion board!

Cheers,




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A pair of English policemen decided to drive an undercover orange Volvo on Devil's Night, the night of mischief falling on the night before Halloween Eve. The policemen were Stan and Edward, and they dressed in traditional English guardsmen outfits of orange color so they'd seem like Halloween reveler but with a certain 'official authority.' Stan and Edward called themselves the Orange Guard [OG].

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The OG patrolled the streets of London from 7am to midnight to complete the entire Devil's Night 'occasion' patrol time. They were sure that there would be sufficient anti-capitalism sentiments on the streets of London this Halloween season and that new menaces would surface, perhaps dressed in a malicious orange to signify the Halloween 'spirit.' The OG were wondering exactly what kinds of demons would surface this Halloween...

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The first maniac to surface was Scarecrow, a lunatic running around in an orange pumpkin-mask and scarecrow-outfit and wielding corrosive HCL acid, which he was using to corrode the skin of parked cars along London's streets. If a cop approached Scarecrow, he just might splash some of the corrosive acid on the cop's face. Scarecrow seemed to be a 'pure maniac,' so OG needed to act fast to tackle him. They decided to shoot him with tranquilizer-darts to simply sedate the Halloween crazy.

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There was adequate street-revelry, normal in nature, on the London streets that Halloween. Even though it was Devil's Night, the day/night before Halloween Eve, there was some street festivity, and one African-English woman named Estelle was in a festive orange-parade costume, walking around with some other costumed women celebrating social cheer. The OG wanted such revelry to proceed without hitch. Fortunately, Scarecrow was behind bars, in a Scotland Yard prison.

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The OG was a big fan of the Cleveland Browns (NFL) team in America, whom they followed on TV in England (ESPN-UK). The OG remarked at the orange-uniforms of the Browns team and the brown-orange elfin team mascot. They wondered if the Browns elf-mascot could be 'recruited' for some nice Halloween revelry, as the OG shared a moment of Halloween cheer of their own by drinking some warm cider.

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The OG were married men, and their wives were busy tending to their harvest-gardens and pumpkin-patches in their English countryside homes. Their wives were donning festive Halloween-themed orange-colored sweaters and thinking fondly of the holiday festivities, hoping their husbands would return home safe. The OG kept their happy wives in mind while they searched for more minions who would surface on Devil's Night. It wasn't easy being a cop in the modern city.

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The new villain that emerged was a demonic spectre named Orange-Carnage [OC]. The OC was a force from hell and the OG realized its presence signified the coming of some Satanic force of evil. OC was not really human but rather a humanoid 'demon' of Hell. The OC was flying around London and dropping broken shards of glass onto pedestrians as they walked along the streets that Devil's Night. The OG scrambled to clear the streets while they followed the OC flying around, zooming in their Volvo Halloween cop-car as fast as possible. Finally, Stan pulled out a smoke-bomb bazooka and shot it at OC, disarming the demon and forcing it to shriek in confusion and sending it reeling back to Hell. The OC was gone forever...

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The OG took a breather and drank some ice-water to refresh and rejuvenate. It was now 6pm on Devil's Night in London. Just then, another sinner surfaced. This crazy was covered in clay and wielded an axe which he fashioned into his clay-cast 'suit.' When the OG approached the maniac and asked him who he was, he told them "My name is Clayface. Stand aside, cops!" The OG realized immediately that Clayface intended to use his clay-cast axe to decapitate someone, so they acted quickly and used a firehose to deteriorate his clay-suit and throw him to the ground before they tied him up and removed his axe. Clayface was sent to Scotland Yard to be placed in a neighboring-cell next to Scarecrow.

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Finally, it was 11pm and Devil's Night was almost over. There were a total of about 10 cases of random vandalism, miscreant behavior, and mischief, as was expected on Devil's Night but Scarecrow and Clayface were the real devils. The OG considered the possibility that since the demonic underworld spectre of Orange-Carnage [OC] was dispelled there would be no more hellraisers on Devil's Night, but they were wrong. The OG ran into an orange-costumed witch who went by the name Haggar. According to Haggar, Devil's Night was an opportunity to invert the ornamentation and 'fashion' of Halloween to send the message of anarchy. Haggar had burned an abandoned apartment building to ashes. When the OG was hauling her off to prison and asked her why she did what she did, she eerily told them, "That building was poorly-maintained and was being considered a 'haven' for orphans; I needed to burn it!"

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STAN: We did great work on Devil's Night!
EDWARD: Scarecrow, Clayface, and Haggar are jailed.
STAN: I wonder if Orange-Carnage will return...
EDWARD: I believe we dispelled that hellish 'spectre.'
STAN: It's amazing how Halloween can be a 'disease.'
EDWARD: Well, it was Devil's Night, not Halloween.
STAN: I doubt many people will differentiate.
EDWARD: They will now that the 'crazies' are in jail.
STAN: Do you think we'll need to patrol again next year?
EDWARD: I suppose it wouldn't be a bad idea.
STAN: The life of a policeman is never cheerful.
EDWARD: We can at least go home to our wives tonight.
STAN: How will you celebrate Halloween tomorrow?
EDWARD: I'll probably have candy for trick-or-treaters.
STAN: I might go trick-or-treating myself.
EDWARD: Are you a fan of candy?
STAN: I like Reese's, Werther's, and Butterfinger!
EDWARD: You're a Christian?
STAN: Yes, I am. Why do you ask?
EDWARD: I'm wondering if there should be a 'Christian holiday.'
STAN: Yes, to 'counter' Devil's Night!
EDWARD: That would be a terrific 'custom/trend.'


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:flameth:

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