Hallmark rejects

[Merlin1047]

You'd see something like these one the shelves if I worked for Hallmark.
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My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat,
when I looked at the tire.... I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
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Heard your wife left you,
how upset you must be.
But don't fret about it....
She moved in with me.
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Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder..."What the hell was I thinking?"
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Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
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How could two people as beautiful as you
have such an ugly baby?
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I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met you...I've changed my mind.
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I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
I never believed in hell until I met you.
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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
you're not here to ruin it for me.
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Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go...
would you take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
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Happy birthday, uncle dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost lifelike!
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When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
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We have been friends for a very long time..
Lets say we stop?
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I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here.
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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

 

[Annie]

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :laugh​