Rosie O'Donnell, Man of the People
Congratz to the lesbian Gandhi, Rosie O'Donnell, who married her longtime Significant Other Domestic Life Partner, Karen Carpenter, in the face of overwhelming opposition from that fascist hatemonger Bush!
"We were both inspired to come here after the sitting president made the vile and hateful comments he made. Sometimes civil disobedience is necessary to insure freedom for all. Isn't that right, babycakes?" Rosie snarled at the press while holding her blushing bride in a loving head-lock.
"Merp!" Carpenter agreed. Carpenter, a former dancer and marketing executive for Nickelodeon, has produced 9 of Rosie's 17 children, impregnating herself with a turkey-baster filled with sperm purchased on eBay. "We just want to be treated like normal people, is that so much to ask?"
Although the two had been cohabitating for six years, it was George Bush's sudden support for a Constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage that forced the couple to tie the knot.
"We should conduct this difficult debate in a manner worthy of our country, without bitterness or anger," Bush spoke to reporters at the White House last Monday. "In all that lies ahead, let us match strong convictions with kindness and goodwill and decency."
For the folks at home, that's secret code for "Let's exterminate the queers". Good ol' Rosie saw right through it.
"I think the actions of the President are, in my opinion, the most vile and hateful words ever spoken by a sitting president," O'Donnell hissed in response to Bush's speech. "I could just rip his head off and shit down his neck!!"
The newlyweds celebrated their nuptials along with thousands of San Franciscans by castrating Bush in effigy, followed with a dildo sword-fight on the steps of City Hall.
This open-minded, tolerant blogger wishes the O'Donnell family all the happiness in the world, and may God protect them from the right-wing Christians who only want to spoil everyone's good time.
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