Friendship

[ChrisL]

"The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends."

Men and Women Can't Be "Just Friends"

 

[Bruce_T_Laney]

What would your definition be of a "friend"?
Do you have many "real friends"?

Do you think friendship means different things to different people?
Do you think it's possible for men/women to be friends without one being a "little more interested" than the other?

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

Oh, so all of those other guys who say that men cannot be "just friends" with women must be lying then. Men have said that they cannot really be "just friends" if the woman is good looking/decent looking and that they will always be "fantasizing" about their "friend." So . . . . what about that? I mean, there are articles about this and everything.

Hmmm, alright it seem you will not accept my comment because of certain amount of men that have written in the past about how they think with their little head between their legs and not the head on their shoulders...

I believe a man and woman can have a friendship that does not result in wanting a little more than just friendship. I have been doing it for years and have never thought about taking my friendship with my female friend to the next level.

I consider her family.

Just how I feel on the subject matter...

 

[Tilly]

View attachment 59188

Awwww.

 

[ChrisL]

What would your definition be of a "friend"?
Do you have many "real friends"?

Do you think friendship means different things to different people?
Do you think it's possible for men/women to be friends without one being a "little more interested" than the other?

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

Oh, so all of those other guys who say that men cannot be "just friends" with women must be lying then. Men have said that they cannot really be "just friends" if the woman is good looking/decent looking and that they will always be "fantasizing" about their "friend." So . . . . what about that? I mean, there are articles about this and everything.

Hmmm, alright it seem you will not accept my comment because of certain amount of men that have written in the past about how they think with their little head between their legs and not the head on their shoulders...

I believe a man and woman can have a friendship that does not result in wanting a little more than just friendship. I have been doing it for years and have never thought about taking my friendship with my female friend to the next level.

I consider her family.

Just how I feel on the subject matter...

Did you read post #21? Makes sense, no?

 

[Tilly]

I've heard a lot of what people think friendship is, and, that being said I have very few. Actually, only 1 and here is why......



and that is hard to find.......

Friends are horribly demanding imho, I've been trying to kick mine to the curb for years. Women can't really be friends with men, they (the men) always have an 'agenda' in my experience.

 

[Bruce_T_Laney]

What would your definition be of a "friend"?
Do you have many "real friends"?

Do you think friendship means different things to different people?
Do you think it's possible for men/women to be friends without one being a "little more interested" than the other?

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

What I meant was "if" you find the woman unattractive.

The woman that is my friend is attractive and still no sexual feelings for her...

Just how I am...

 

[Tilly]

Having friends is too much work it always seems they ask way more of me than I ask of them

Couldn't agree more.
Dogs make perfect friends. Well, much more than friends really.

 

[ChrisL]

What would your definition be of a "friend"?
Do you have many "real friends"?

Do you think friendship means different things to different people?
Do you think it's possible for men/women to be friends without one being a "little more interested" than the other?

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

Oh, so all of those other guys who say that men cannot be "just friends" with women must be lying then. Men have said that they cannot really be "just friends" if the woman is good looking/decent looking and that they will always be "fantasizing" about their "friend." So . . . . what about that? I mean, there are articles about this and everything.

Hmmm, alright it seem you will not accept my comment because of certain amount of men that have written in the past about how they think with their little head between their legs and not the head on their shoulders...

I believe a man and woman can have a friendship that does not result in wanting a little more than just friendship. I have been doing it for years and have never thought about taking my friendship with my female friend to the next level.

I consider her family.

Just how I feel on the subject matter...

I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule. It probably depends a lot on how close of a friend too. Acquaintances are one thing. A real close friendship is something else. In a lot of cases, if a person finds someone of the opposite sex attractive and they like one another to be friends (sharing common interests, goals, etc.), then it makes sense that more romantic feelings develop.

 

[ChrisL]

What would your definition be of a "friend"?
Do you have many "real friends"?

Do you think friendship means different things to different people?
Do you think it's possible for men/women to be friends without one being a "little more interested" than the other?

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

What I meant was "if" you find the woman unattractive.

The woman that is my friend is attractive and still no sexual feelings for her...

Just how I am...

NO sexual feelings for her? And you are a male? Let's see, you find her attractive and you share common interests and goals, like one another to maintain a friendship but absolutely NO sexual feelings. Hmm.

 

[ChrisL]

What would your definition be of a "friend"?
Do you have many "real friends"?

Do you think friendship means different things to different people?
Do you think it's possible for men/women to be friends without one being a "little more interested" than the other?

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

What I meant was "if" you find the woman unattractive.

The woman that is my friend is attractive and still no sexual feelings for her...

Just how I am...

And what age group are you in? Do you think it is more difficult for perhaps younger people who might be more "hormonal" (for lack of a better word)?

 

[Bruce_T_Laney]

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

Oh, so all of those other guys who say that men cannot be "just friends" with women must be lying then. Men have said that they cannot really be "just friends" if the woman is good looking/decent looking and that they will always be "fantasizing" about their "friend." So . . . . what about that? I mean, there are articles about this and everything.

Hmmm, alright it seem you will not accept my comment because of certain amount of men that have written in the past about how they think with their little head between their legs and not the head on their shoulders...

I believe a man and woman can have a friendship that does not result in wanting a little more than just friendship. I have been doing it for years and have never thought about taking my friendship with my female friend to the next level.

I consider her family.

Just how I feel on the subject matter...

Did you read post #21? Makes sense, no?

Read it and do not agree with it because I have had one time where the female told me she was being my friend so she could take it to the next level...

So it can go the other way and you have the rare man that is fine with having a female friend around and not be sexually attracted to the individual.

I know all men are dogs...

 

[ChrisL]

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

Oh, so all of those other guys who say that men cannot be "just friends" with women must be lying then. Men have said that they cannot really be "just friends" if the woman is good looking/decent looking and that they will always be "fantasizing" about their "friend." So . . . . what about that? I mean, there are articles about this and everything.

Hmmm, alright it seem you will not accept my comment because of certain amount of men that have written in the past about how they think with their little head between their legs and not the head on their shoulders...

I believe a man and woman can have a friendship that does not result in wanting a little more than just friendship. I have been doing it for years and have never thought about taking my friendship with my female friend to the next level.

I consider her family.

Just how I feel on the subject matter...

Did you read post #21? Makes sense, no?

Read it and do not agree with it because I have had one time where the female told me she was being my friend so she could take it to the next level...

So it can go the other way and you have the rare man that is fine with having a female friend around and not be sexually attracted to the individual.

I know all men are dogs...

I'm not saying it doesn't work both ways! Of course it does. If they turn it into a romantic relationship, then obviously both parties decided to do that.

 

[Swagger]

We all have parameters and boundries when it come to defining who our real friends are. I'm going to be honest, here. I've always had difficulty being just 'friends' with women before I got married because at some stage or another I'd try to get them into bed with varying degrees of success (half of them must have been lesbians). Besides my brothers, the men I'm closest to are the men I shipped out of Germany to N. Ireland with. We went through alot and have remained in touch ever since, and remain part of a larger network of veterans of the war in Ireland.

 

[ChrisL]

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

Oh, so all of those other guys who say that men cannot be "just friends" with women must be lying then. Men have said that they cannot really be "just friends" if the woman is good looking/decent looking and that they will always be "fantasizing" about their "friend." So . . . . what about that? I mean, there are articles about this and everything.

Hmmm, alright it seem you will not accept my comment because of certain amount of men that have written in the past about how they think with their little head between their legs and not the head on their shoulders...

I believe a man and woman can have a friendship that does not result in wanting a little more than just friendship. I have been doing it for years and have never thought about taking my friendship with my female friend to the next level.

I consider her family.

Just how I feel on the subject matter...

Did you read post #21? Makes sense, no?

Read it and do not agree with it because I have had one time where the female told me she was being my friend so she could take it to the next level...

So it can go the other way and you have the rare man that is fine with having a female friend around and not be sexually attracted to the individual.

I know all men are dogs...

So you are going to claim that there is no "sexual temptation" or fantasizing involved in friendships between men and women and that, generally, nothing happens (in most instances)?

 

[ChrisL]

Outliers don't count!!! When I participate in these kinds of threads, I am speaking more on the whole than exceptions to the rules! I am not making "personal" comments about anyone's friendships. I'm trying to have a real honest discussion about the matter is all. I'm sick of phonies.

 

[Bruce_T_Laney]

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

What I meant was "if" you find the woman unattractive.

The woman that is my friend is attractive and still no sexual feelings for her...

Just how I am...

NO sexual feelings for her? And you are a male? Let's see, you find her attractive and you share common interests and goals, like one another to maintain a friendship but absolutely NO sexual feelings. Hmm.

Yes, it is possible...

I know how dare I break the stereotypical mold!

I am happy with my friendships and have no problem saying I would not bang any of my friends...

Hell I would not bang the majority of the population of the world.

So, I guess I need to be tossed into the abyss because I am one messed up individual...

Also my mate and I have less in common than my friends and I. I am the type that is attracted to the opposite of me and prefer to it where she balances me out...

Why am I even discussing this or even defending my stance with you?

 

[JakeStarkey]

Most of my friends are family members.

The few non-family friends developed from shared interests

 

[Bruce_T_Laney]

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

Oh, so all of those other guys who say that men cannot be "just friends" with women must be lying then. Men have said that they cannot really be "just friends" if the woman is good looking/decent looking and that they will always be "fantasizing" about their "friend." So . . . . what about that? I mean, there are articles about this and everything.

Hmmm, alright it seem you will not accept my comment because of certain amount of men that have written in the past about how they think with their little head between their legs and not the head on their shoulders...

I believe a man and woman can have a friendship that does not result in wanting a little more than just friendship. I have been doing it for years and have never thought about taking my friendship with my female friend to the next level.

I consider her family.

Just how I feel on the subject matter...

Did you read post #21? Makes sense, no?

Read it and do not agree with it because I have had one time where the female told me she was being my friend so she could take it to the next level...

So it can go the other way and you have the rare man that is fine with having a female friend around and not be sexually attracted to the individual.

I know all men are dogs...

So you are going to claim that there is no "sexual temptation" or fantasizing involved in friendships between men and women and that, generally, nothing happens (in most instances)?

No, I am saying it can be done and that is all I am saying. ( The part where a male and female can be friends without sexual feelings )

 

[Bruce_T_Laney]

Outliers don't count!!! When I participate in these kinds of threads, I am speaking more on the whole than exceptions to the rules! I am not making "personal" comments about anyone's friendships. I'm trying to have a real honest discussion about the matter is all. I'm sick of phonies.

You need to know me in real life before you call me a phony...

I will tell you the same thing and you will be upset because I am not your stereotypical man...

 

[Lumpy 1]

1. Someone that is there to tell you when you have messed up, and give you a kick in the pants when needed but also will not turn their back on you and are there through thick and thin...

2. I have a few real friends.

3. Yes, many people have a different view of what a friend is.

4. I believe Platonic relationship can be achieved between a man and a woman.

On your #4, don't you want to expand upon that . . . IF . . .

Nope, I have a female friend I would never expand the definition of friendship to a little bit more...

Friends are a branch of your family that you get to choose...

What I meant was "if" you find the woman unattractive.

The woman that is my friend is attractive and still no sexual feelings for her...

Just how I am...

And what age group are you in? Do you think it is more difficult for perhaps younger people who might be more "hormonal" (for lack of a better word)?

Why don't you just pass judgement and get it over with.

(Minutes later).. oh, you already did, never mind.