One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,
he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the
washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' DALLAS COWBOYS'!
And they say blondes are dumb....
1. A man was strolling along the beach one day when he spied an old fashioned oil lamp laying in the sand.
He picked it up and, as he began to brush the sand and dirt off the lamp, a Genie suddenly appeared. As the man stood there, surprised and speachless, the Genie held up his hand and said "Before we start, here are some ground rules. First, I am not very good with this Genie business, so with me you only get one wish, not the usual three. Second, because I am not very good at this, there are no guarantees, so be careful what you wish for."
After thinking for a few moments the man said, "well, I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but I am afraid of traveling on either ships or airplanes, so could you build a highway to Hawaii so that I can drive?" To which the Genie replied, "What? I just told you to keep it simple as I am not very good at this."
So the man thought again and replied, "well, my wife keeps saying that I don't understand her. So, could you give me the power to understand women?"
"Did you want that to be a two or a four lane highway?" replied the Genie.
2. Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
