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New Greta Thunberg GPS Lectures You When Refusing More Eco-Friendly Route
TECH·Mar 14, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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U.S. — As navigation apps continue to move toward offering more environmentally conscious travel options, a newly unveiled Greta Thunberg GPS features stern lectures any time users refuse to choose more eco-friendly routes.
The new device, which is expected to be available just in time for summer vacations and road trip season, will reportedly have the voice of Thunberg aggressively shaming drivers who fail to accept its suggestions to take routes that result in less fuel consumption and reduced carbon emissions.
"How dare you?" Thunberg was heard admonishing a driver during a test run. "I have offered you an opportunity to atone for your sins against our great planet and turn away from the evil you and your fellow humans have wrought in our environment, yet you refuse. You have ravaged the earth and stolen my dreams and my childhood. Turn left here."
One driver who tested out the system wholeheartedly vouched for its belligerence. "I really did feel ashamed of myself," he said. "After choosing not to take the more eco-friendly route, I spent the next 10 minutes being berated by the voice of Greta Thunberg herself. It felt like she was sitting in the car with me making me feel awful about my choices. It's the most self-righteous GPS I've ever used."
At publishing time, the GPS's manufacturer revealed advanced features would include navigating the driver to the nearest electric car dealership or sending the driver off a cliff to end their earth-destroying life for the betterment of the planet.
TECH·Mar 14, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.
U.S. — As navigation apps continue to move toward offering more environmentally conscious travel options, a newly unveiled Greta Thunberg GPS features stern lectures any time users refuse to choose more eco-friendly routes.
The new device, which is expected to be available just in time for summer vacations and road trip season, will reportedly have the voice of Thunberg aggressively shaming drivers who fail to accept its suggestions to take routes that result in less fuel consumption and reduced carbon emissions.
"How dare you?" Thunberg was heard admonishing a driver during a test run. "I have offered you an opportunity to atone for your sins against our great planet and turn away from the evil you and your fellow humans have wrought in our environment, yet you refuse. You have ravaged the earth and stolen my dreams and my childhood. Turn left here."
One driver who tested out the system wholeheartedly vouched for its belligerence. "I really did feel ashamed of myself," he said. "After choosing not to take the more eco-friendly route, I spent the next 10 minutes being berated by the voice of Greta Thunberg herself. It felt like she was sitting in the car with me making me feel awful about my choices. It's the most self-righteous GPS I've ever used."
At publishing time, the GPS's manufacturer revealed advanced features would include navigating the driver to the nearest electric car dealership or sending the driver off a cliff to end their earth-destroying life for the betterment of the planet.
