JimBowie1958
Old Fogey
- Sep 25, 2011
- 63,590
- 16,776
- 2,220
My Father-in-Law, I'll call him Tom for this thread, just died this morning, and I feel so bad for his family. He spent the last few years fighting Luekemia and going through chemo, so I know he is in a better place now, and no, I don't want to discuss how I feel certain of this other than to say he was a good man, a good Catholic who confessed Jesus as his Lord and Savior every Easter day for the past 70 years. So while I am glad he is not longer suffering, just knowing that he has left us is a sad thing for the world, it is now a much smaller place.
He is of that Great Generation, forged in the Great Depression and grit through the Second World War. He had discipline, wit, intelligence and a focus in his life I have only seen in his generation. He was a man of faith, education, and devotion to his family that his sense of being 'dignified' ( I guess that is the word here) seemed to repress much expression of. He spoke through his actions, a thing everyone after the Baby Boomer generation has little appreciation of.
My wife is torn up and is down in their town taking care of all the considerable arrangements, while I hold down the fort in Fredericksburg. She tells me she doesn't want me to come down there yet, because she has so much to get done and my boredom would annoy her, and she is right, I would be competing for the one computer in no time at all. So I cannot comfort her, except by phone, and that is my worst pain in all this. I pray for her, tell her I love and wish to ease her pain, and remind her of her fathers improvement all things considered, but there is little you can say when a close friend's parent dies. Her Mom wont live much longer after this, I'm pretty sure, and I think that is haunting her too. My dear wife and best friend is going into a very painful part of life, and I feel unprepared to help her, in all my Aspie awkwardness and clumsiness. Her Mother is suffering from memory loss and kept asking where Tom was.
Our society today does not encourage handling death very well. We put our old people in buildings far away from where they most want to be and call it giving them 'care' because some anonymous nurse is available for them. We rarely think of them, and when they pass away we seem unprepared for it emotionally.
I love Tom, and I miss him in a strange way I have never felt before. It is a void now where there used to be a kind wise voice, prepared to give advice, encouragement and focus.
Yes, the world is indeed a much smaller place today.
And I don't know what to do about it.
He is of that Great Generation, forged in the Great Depression and grit through the Second World War. He had discipline, wit, intelligence and a focus in his life I have only seen in his generation. He was a man of faith, education, and devotion to his family that his sense of being 'dignified' ( I guess that is the word here) seemed to repress much expression of. He spoke through his actions, a thing everyone after the Baby Boomer generation has little appreciation of.
My wife is torn up and is down in their town taking care of all the considerable arrangements, while I hold down the fort in Fredericksburg. She tells me she doesn't want me to come down there yet, because she has so much to get done and my boredom would annoy her, and she is right, I would be competing for the one computer in no time at all. So I cannot comfort her, except by phone, and that is my worst pain in all this. I pray for her, tell her I love and wish to ease her pain, and remind her of her fathers improvement all things considered, but there is little you can say when a close friend's parent dies. Her Mom wont live much longer after this, I'm pretty sure, and I think that is haunting her too. My dear wife and best friend is going into a very painful part of life, and I feel unprepared to help her, in all my Aspie awkwardness and clumsiness. Her Mother is suffering from memory loss and kept asking where Tom was.
Our society today does not encourage handling death very well. We put our old people in buildings far away from where they most want to be and call it giving them 'care' because some anonymous nurse is available for them. We rarely think of them, and when they pass away we seem unprepared for it emotionally.
I love Tom, and I miss him in a strange way I have never felt before. It is a void now where there used to be a kind wise voice, prepared to give advice, encouragement and focus.
Yes, the world is indeed a much smaller place today.
And I don't know what to do about it.