Vigilante
Diamond Member
- Banned
- #1
It was revealed this week that suspected brain damage was a key factor in FBI Director James Comey's decision to recommend against indicting former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for her serial lawbreaking and security breaches regarding her emails.
"In the interview with our agents the former Secretary came across as a person of seriously diminished mental capacity," FBI spokesman William Dodge explained. "She couldn't recall ever having been briefed on security matters—despite being shown her signature on a document affirming she had. She professed not to know that the letter 'C' on emails meant 'confidential. She couldn't remember who she asked to set up her private off site server. She 'misplaced' a dozen mobile devices that had classified communications on them. She couldn't even remember the name of the ambassador killed in Benghazi. It was clear to us that Secretary Clinton would likely plead 'not guilty by reason of diminished mental capacity.'"
"When you add in testimony from her chief aides describing her as 'often confused' and 'frequently disoriented' it appeared that taking the matter to trial would have been a highly risky undertaking," Dodge said. "Win or lose, a trial would have shown that from 2009 to 2013 the US State Department was being headed by a person who was either cavalierly indifferent to the law or too impaired to have been entrusted with such a demanding position of responsibility. When we include the rather substantial indications that Secretary Clinton may have inappropriately used her government position to solicit monetary rewards it was clear that the Administration's reputation could have sustained significant negative impact. Rather than invite this trauma, Director Comey opted for saving the nation from it, much in the same way that former President Ford did by pardoning Nixon."
In related news, attorneys for Hillary Clinton are said to be preparing a lawsuit challenging a potential loss at the polls, citing the Americans with Disabilities Act as the basis. "Based on the resumes of the candidates, Secretary Clinton is clearly the most qualified of the job applicants," claimed lead attorney Susan Moore. "If voters pass over her to put a less qualified person in the White House it would be a clear violation of the law barring employers from discriminating against the disabled. We hope it won't have to come to this. Voters could spare the nation the disruption and substantial monetary penalties they would be liable for by simply electing her president on November 8th."
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 4, 2016 Edition - Freedoms Phoenix
"In the interview with our agents the former Secretary came across as a person of seriously diminished mental capacity," FBI spokesman William Dodge explained. "She couldn't recall ever having been briefed on security matters—despite being shown her signature on a document affirming she had. She professed not to know that the letter 'C' on emails meant 'confidential. She couldn't remember who she asked to set up her private off site server. She 'misplaced' a dozen mobile devices that had classified communications on them. She couldn't even remember the name of the ambassador killed in Benghazi. It was clear to us that Secretary Clinton would likely plead 'not guilty by reason of diminished mental capacity.'"
"When you add in testimony from her chief aides describing her as 'often confused' and 'frequently disoriented' it appeared that taking the matter to trial would have been a highly risky undertaking," Dodge said. "Win or lose, a trial would have shown that from 2009 to 2013 the US State Department was being headed by a person who was either cavalierly indifferent to the law or too impaired to have been entrusted with such a demanding position of responsibility. When we include the rather substantial indications that Secretary Clinton may have inappropriately used her government position to solicit monetary rewards it was clear that the Administration's reputation could have sustained significant negative impact. Rather than invite this trauma, Director Comey opted for saving the nation from it, much in the same way that former President Ford did by pardoning Nixon."
In related news, attorneys for Hillary Clinton are said to be preparing a lawsuit challenging a potential loss at the polls, citing the Americans with Disabilities Act as the basis. "Based on the resumes of the candidates, Secretary Clinton is clearly the most qualified of the job applicants," claimed lead attorney Susan Moore. "If voters pass over her to put a less qualified person in the White House it would be a clear violation of the law barring employers from discriminating against the disabled. We hope it won't have to come to this. Voters could spare the nation the disruption and substantial monetary penalties they would be liable for by simply electing her president on November 8th."
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 4, 2016 Edition - Freedoms Phoenix
