[Yes, this is a parody post based on an old email chain – but updated]
Day 1 of the convention:
Proceedings begin as Colin Kaepernick leads the delegates in taking a knee for the US flag.
Pledge of allegiance to the United Nations.
Native American blessing given by Sen. Elizabeth Warren.
Andrew Cuomo introduces Democrats' 2020 campaign slogan, "America Was Never That Great."
A vote on replacing all gender pronouns with "it."
A vote on giving illegal aliens the right to vote in all elections.
Democratic National Committee chairman Tom Perez introduces Socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, again declaring that she is the "future of our party."
Ocasio-Cortez reminds delegates that there will be no need for funerals after "Medicare for All" is the law of the land.
First Two Minutes Hate: The delegates recreate the Hillary Clinton campaign's smashing of their Blackberry smartphones.
Susan Rice blames the lackluster performance of the Obama economy on the posting of an obscure YouTube video.
After a mid-day adjournment, Bill Ayers denounces America as he steps on the US flag.
A salute to the Young Democrats of America led by Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, and Bernie Sanders.
John Podesta offers tips on how to create an unhackable email password.
Chelsea Clinton speaks to the delegates, uttering nothing of consequence.
Jimmy Carter and Barack Obama compliment each other on their Iran policies.
Mid-afternoon nap for delegates begins as John Kerry addresses them.
Second Two Minutes Hate: Robert De Niro leads "Fuck Donald Trump" chant.
Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel introduces Democrats' get-tough-on-crime platform plank.
Bill Clinton, wearing a pink pussy hat, praises the #MeToo movement.
Lifetime fundraising achievement award presented to Harvey Weinstein.
Proceedings end as Antifa radicals burn the US flag.
All this from Marathon Pundit and Doug Ross @ Journal: EXCLUSIVE: Agenda for 2020 Democrat National Convention
