I think you should reread the books. The entire point about the vampires is how dangerous they are.
By the way, the definition of a gentleman used by Lestat has nothing to do with being polite, it is entirely about hiding the corruption behind a facade. He had absolute contempt for everyone who refused to look beyond the surface and seek the truth.
Even her Sleeping Beauty series is more about the danger and seduction of power than the sex, and it was deliberately written to be about sex.
I have read the first 6 or 7 books multiple times. They are not scary vampires for the most part. One can be dangerous without being scary, at least in the Nosferatu, hideous evil monster sense. Rice's vampires are appealing. They are the heroes, whatever sins they might commit. They also tend to be very androgynous and there is a lot of pseudo-sexual tension, as well as outright acts of sex (such as when Armand gives a blowjob to his young, human protege).
Rice's vampires are beautiful and compelling and often, even when they feed, remain so.