Does Spanking kids Work?

[Lipush]

There is never any need to use physical punishment when it comes to children. You cannot tell your kids that its wrong to hit someone, yet hit them yourself. Sends the wrong message.

And no, I don't have kids, and yes, I was smacked a few times as a kid - and I turned out to be depressed, suicidal, and prone to outbursts of violence. If I ever have kids, I will refuse to lay a finger on them.

That's true, and well said.

 

[Lipush]

There is a big difference between spanking and beating. I was spanked once by my dad. I was beaten often by my mother. I didn't turn into a serial killer.
I also spanked my kids. I never beat them. They, too, are normal.

A spank on the rear every once in a while is not totally wrong.

I was never spanked, and at times I wish I was. But it's ok only when it's not a matter of routine and as long as it doesn't turn to violent hitting or form of education.

And I believe it depends also on the sort of spanking. On the rear it's ok, but I knew of people who spanked their 3 year old on the mouth and arms, too. That's wrong and humiliating.

 

[Lipush]

SuperNanny never hits a child.

Not with the Cam's on record, she didn't.

 

[asterism]

This something that has interest me for quite awhile now. Since I was spanked as a kid when I did wrong and for the most part I came out fine other than my Depression that I still haven't kicked out of.

But for the most part a sane human being. But new this new data of people who spank their kids for the most part do not do well in schools and are more aggressive is this old school way of discipline hurting are kids this the question I ask you guys here.

Do Not Hit Your Children with Belts - YouTube

Study Links Spanking Kids To Aggression, Language Problems

Maternal spanking at age 5, even at low levels, was associated with higher levels of child externalizing behavior at age 9, even after an array of risks and earlier child behavior were controlled for. Father’s high-frequency spanking at age 5 was associated with lower child receptive vocabulary scores at age 9.

Womanist Musings: Dear Black Community: Beating Children With Belts Is Not Discipline, It's Abuse

He further goes on to state that he is going to give the child a reason to cry and then beats him some more. In the next scene we see the child outside with a tear streaked face. The father makes him run, crab walk and then do push ups. When he realizes that the child did the push up on his knees he accuses him of cheating and demands 15 push ups. At the end of the video you see the child doing a push up with strain more than evident on his face with the words job well done on the screen.

Not belts. No.

I agree, open hand only.

 

[asterism]

There's a difference between spanking and abuse. If you don't know the difference then you shouldn't do it. People used to spank more and the kids used to be better behaved. Coincidence?

I moved from NYC in the late 60s to the deep south where spanking was still permitted in school. Guess which schools had less problems?

i grew up in the deep South, and my high school wisely gave the wayward student a choice. Either three licks with a paddle or a day's suspension. It was a wise chioice because I was caught skipping school one day, and I was given that choice. If the principal had struck me with a paddle, I would have decked him.

Oooooooh, you're such a tough guy.

 

[Vandalshandle]

There's a difference between spanking and abuse. If you don't know the difference then you shouldn't do it. People used to spank more and the kids used to be better behaved. Coincidence?

I moved from NYC in the late 60s to the deep south where spanking was still permitted in school. Guess which schools had less problems?

i grew up in the deep South, and my high school wisely gave the wayward student a choice. Either three licks with a paddle or a day's suspension. It was a wise chioice because I was caught skipping school one day, and I was given that choice. If the principal had struck me with a paddle, I would have decked him.

Oooooooh, you're such a tough guy.

As a matter of fact, when I was 16, I was, and I was also very angry.

 

[Shrimpbox]

Gracie and others have it right, there is a big difference between spanking and child abuse. My wife had to raise our children a lot on her own cause I was gone a lot. The famous wooden spoon is legion in our family and spankings were seldom and done after mom and dad deliberated on the merits. What til your daddy gets home was and had to be a threat. When in public her tactic was to tell the children don't embarrass me in this rest. In front of all these people or I will rip your hair out. Mine was to grab them by the bicep lifting them up while whispering sweet nothings in their ears. We always had many complements about how well behaved our children were and it wasn't because they were cowed in fear, they just knew what the limitations were.
In today's psychobabble universe children are supposed to be addressed as equals instead of having a parent child relationship. I noticed with our own kids that constant yelling and empty threats pass for discipline. After a while the kids just tune them out and ignore them leading to more yelling. But there are not any discipline problems when they come to stay with Grama and papa. Makes ya wonder!
I always marvel how in this new age we seem obligated to reinvent something that has gone on for millennia. While nothing is perfect, could we not take a page from our own history and instead of reinventing revisit the mores that created the greatest generation or is that too passe to be relevant anymore.
My wife often tells the story of eating Sunday dinner with her parents. She was an only child and adored her father. Life was difficult back then and the meals often had a sameness to them. On this particular occasion she made the mistake of saying do we have to eat beans again. Before she finished the sentence, her father, who had been a welterweight boxer, backhanded her and sent her and the chair tumbling backwards. He never said a word and kept on eating and she never complained about eating beans again or ever forgot that experience.

 

[Montrovant]

There is a big difference between spanking and beating. I was spanked once by my dad. I was beaten often by my mother. I didn't turn into a serial killer.
I also spanked my kids. I never beat them. They, too, are normal.

A spank on the rear every once in a while is not totally wrong.

I was never spanked, and at times I wish I was. But it's ok only when it's not a matter of routine and as long as it doesn't turn to violent hitting or form of education.

And I believe it depends also on the sort of spanking. On the rear it's ok, but I knew of people who spanked their 3 year old on the mouth and arms, too. That's wrong and humiliating.

Maybe it's just me, but I've always thought that spanking is, by definition, on the rear.

 

[Sarah G]

There is a big difference between spanking and beating. I was spanked once by my dad. I was beaten often by my mother. I didn't turn into a serial killer.
I also spanked my kids. I never beat them. They, too, are normal.

A spank on the rear every once in a while is not totally wrong.

I was never spanked, and at times I wish I was. But it's ok only when it's not a matter of routine and as long as it doesn't turn to violent hitting or form of education.

And I believe it depends also on the sort of spanking. On the rear it's ok, but I knew of people who spanked their 3 year old on the mouth and arms, too. That's wrong and humiliating.

Maybe it's just me, but I've always thought that spanking is, by definition, on the rear.

Well maybe some people would rather spank them elsewhere to break the monotony.

 

[asterism]

i grew up in the deep South, and my high school wisely gave the wayward student a choice. Either three licks with a paddle or a day's suspension. It was a wise chioice because I was caught skipping school one day, and I was given that choice. If the principal had struck me with a paddle, I would have decked him.

Oooooooh, you're such a tough guy.

As a matter of fact, when I was 16, I was, and I was also very angry.

Another liberal with mental issues. Go figure.

 

[emilynghiem]

There is never any need to use physical punishment when it comes to children. You cannot tell your kids that its wrong to hit someone, yet hit them yourself. Sends the wrong message.

And no, I don't have kids, and yes, I was smacked a few times as a kid - and I turned out to be depressed, suicidal, and prone to outbursts of violence. If I ever have kids, I will refuse to lay a finger on them.

Exactly right.

There is never a reason or an excuse to hit a child.

It depends on the child, the situation, and the parent.

I had a teacher during teacher training in public school who openly stated that the reason there was so much attention deficit in kids is they were missing discipline. the emotional and logical filters in their brains were not developed because they didn't get boundaries enforced consistently. she admitted they needed spanking when appropriate.

Now if this can be done verbally without spanking or swatting, of course that is better.

On the other hand, if a spanking on the bottom or swatting a child's hand away prevents them from burning their hand on the stove, I think it is worse to let them burn themselves.

I agree that if parents have abusive intent, those parents should never touch their children.

My dad could just raise his voice and scare me into deterrence, though it was still too much sometimes. spanking was not necessary, just expression of parental disapproval. the rage was abusive even when it was verbal and not even physical, so that could have been less.

the issue is whether it becomes a projection of personal rage or abuse.
ideally, of course, verbal reprimand is better to train children so they don't need
spanking so much. but even the best children who respond to timeouts and other
consequences get spanks every once in a while when they are testing limits of parents.
after they know the parent is consistent, they will respond to the verbal and other options.

 

[oldfart]

Oooooooh, you're such a tough guy.

As a matter of fact, when I was 16, I was, and I was also very angry.

Another liberal with mental issues. Go figure.

Either you have a personal problem with Vandalshandle or someone just pooped in your fruit loops. Either way cut it out; this is CDZ, you are sounding like a real jerk in your last two posts.

 

[GWV5903]

There is nothing wrong with spanking a child for disciplinary reasons, period...

Now beating your child is a different issue...

My wife disciplined our oldest daughter many years ago in the grocery store and a women came up to her and said it wasn't necessary to do that, my wife quickly and politely told her to mind her own business...

We have family members who for what ever reason have chosen not to enlist corporal punishment and the majority have had some issues with authority...

Needless to say, our children are respectful and well liked amongst their pier groups, corporal punishment didn't harm them...

Do not spare the rod...

 

[auditor0007]

There is never any need to use physical punishment when it comes to children. You cannot tell your kids that its wrong to hit someone, yet hit them yourself. Sends the wrong message.

And no, I don't have kids, and yes, I was smacked a few times as a kid - and I turned out to be depressed, suicidal, and prone to outbursts of violence. If I ever have kids, I will refuse to lay a finger on them.

I find your use of the word "smacked" to be interesting. I may be incorrect on this, but it sounds to me as if you were "smacked around" as in being beaten our of pure anger. That kind of punishment does not work and will cause more harm than good. On the other hand, a swat on the rear end of a younger child when they are misbehaving can have a very positive effect, so long as the child understands why he/she is being punished. Children must learn that there are consequences for bad behavior, and sometimes those consequences actually have to hurt in order to get through to the child. Some children can be very stubborn given the opportunity. There definitely is a fine line there, and parents must be aware of this. Also, corporal punishment really needs to end before the age of ten. After that point, it's pretty ineffective, imo.

 

[Vandalshandle]

Oooooooh, you're such a tough guy.

As a matter of fact, when I was 16, I was, and I was also very angry.

Another liberal with mental issues. Go figure.

So, now we have been enlightened. This thread is a liberal vs. conservative issue.

Go figure.

Try to concentrate. The thread is about corporal punishment, not about your own personal political agenda.

Focus....

 

[TemplarKormac]

Does spanking kids work?

Yeah it does. So does switching, belting, fly swattering and paddling. When my full name came out of her mouth, my behind was going to get tanned. She didn't do it because she was angry, she did it because it set me straight.

 

[Darkwind]

This something that has interest me for quite awhile now. Since I was spanked as a kid when I did wrong and for the most part I came out fine other than my Depression that I still haven't kicked out of.

But for the most part a sane human being. But new this new data of people who spank their kids for the most part do not do well in schools and are more aggressive is this old school way of discipline hurting are kids this the question I ask you guys here.

Do Not Hit Your Children with Belts - YouTube

Study Links Spanking Kids To Aggression, Language Problems

Maternal spanking at age 5, even at low levels, was associated with higher levels of child externalizing behavior at age 9, even after an array of risks and earlier child behavior were controlled for. Father’s high-frequency spanking at age 5 was associated with lower child receptive vocabulary scores at age 9.

Womanist Musings: Dear Black Community: Beating Children With Belts Is Not Discipline, It's Abuse

He further goes on to state that he is going to give the child a reason to cry and then beats him some more. In the next scene we see the child outside with a tear streaked face. The father makes him run, crab walk and then do push ups. When he realizes that the child did the push up on his knees he accuses him of cheating and demands 15 push ups. At the end of the video you see the child doing a push up with strain more than evident on his face with the words job well done on the screen.

My step-son was spanked only once, and very lightly at that. He never behaved to the point where it was required to administer a second. The same with My two sons. They were spanked, lightly, when they acted up, at an early enough age that the discipline did not need to be harsh to be effective.

I'm sure there are morons who will speak about any kind of spanking as if a person took out a belt and began wailing on their children. That is not the norm, nor is it the discussion. Use of a belt would be wrong.

However, the later in life, if that bad behavior is allowed to continue without some form of discipline, the worse that person will become later in life. I know there are gong to idiots who say "I was never spanked and I turned out fine"....I'll flat out say, I question your honesty.....

Lastly...those who are depressed, neurotic and suffer from other mental conditions; you would still have suffered from those conditions regardless of whether you were spanked or not. I know its easier to blame someone for you own physiology, but please don't burden the rest of us with your denial.

However, lets speak about how well children do who have been drugged. The alternative to an unruly child for many people, seems to be to drug them into submission. Have any of you seen a child that has been given Ritalin? The drug renders them practically inert, and unaware of their surroundings. They are lethargic and act as if they have been on a binge.

A well placed swat on the backside of a toddler (it doesn't have to be hard) can do more good for behavior than an entire pharmacy. And your children will grow up well mannered, focused, and happy.

 

[oldfart]

My step-son was spanked only once, and very lightly at that. He never behaved to the point where it was required to administer a second. The same with My two sons. They were spanked, lightly, when they acted up, at an early enough age that the discipline did not need to be harsh to be effective.

I would agree that such punishment is not abuse and could be effective.

However, the later in life, if that bad behavior is allowed to continue without some form of discipline, the worse that person will become later in life. I know there are gong to idiots who say "I was never spanked and I turned out fine"....I'll flat out say, I question your honesty.....

I gave you the benefit of the doubt in not calling you a child abuser. Now you are calling me a liar. Perhaps you did not turn out as polite and reasonable as you think you did. I would like also to know what events in my life you monitor to come to such a conclusion. If your momma taught you right, the next post will be your apology and retraction.

A well placed swat on the backside of a toddler (it doesn't have to be hard) can do more good for behavior than an entire pharmacy. And your children will grow up well mannered, focused, and happy.

Oh, I see. You are an expert in psychiatry. You are guaranteeing me that if I swat my toddlers they will "grow up well mannered, focused, and happy." Could you refer me to the journals where you have published your scientific results? And if you are wrong, who is your malpractice insurance carrier so I can file my claim?

So your theories are subject to scientific verification. If you can back down from your overextended position, you are a rational and well functioning human being. If you cannot, then you obviously have some additional growing up to do. Your choice.

 

[Montrovant]

My step-son was spanked only once, and very lightly at that. He never behaved to the point where it was required to administer a second. The same with My two sons. They were spanked, lightly, when they acted up, at an early enough age that the discipline did not need to be harsh to be effective.

I would agree that such punishment is not abuse and could be effective.

However, the later in life, if that bad behavior is allowed to continue without some form of discipline, the worse that person will become later in life. I know there are gong to idiots who say "I was never spanked and I turned out fine"....I'll flat out say, I question your honesty.....

I gave you the benefit of the doubt in not calling you a child abuser. Now you are calling me a liar. Perhaps you did not turn out as polite and reasonable as you think you did. I would like also to know what events in my life you monitor to come to such a conclusion. If your momma taught you right, the next post will be your apology and retraction.

A well placed swat on the backside of a toddler (it doesn't have to be hard) can do more good for behavior than an entire pharmacy. And your children will grow up well mannered, focused, and happy.

Oh, I see. You are an expert in psychiatry. You are guaranteeing me that if I swat my toddlers they will "grow up well mannered, focused, and happy." Could you refer me to the journals where you have published your scientific results? And if you are wrong, who is your malpractice insurance carrier so I can file my claim?

So your theories are subject to scientific verification. If you can back down from your overextended position, you are a rational and well functioning human being. If you cannot, then you obviously have some additional growing up to do. Your choice.

Not to defend or condemn Darkwind's positions, but wtf? Where did he claim any sort of scientific background for his opinions?

And nice attempt to shame him into an apology. If he 'backs down', he's rational and well functioning. Otherwise.....

I'm trying to see how your insults are more 'adult' than his.

 

[chikenwing]

Does spanking kids work?

Yeah it does. So does switching, belting, fly swattering and paddling. When my full name came out of her mouth, my behind was going to get tanned. She didn't do it because she was angry, she did it because it set me straight.

When we screwed up as kids,mom would make us go cut a switch off of the Lilac bush,there were always some 3 foot suckers growing off the trunk,if you brought back a wimpy switch,it was not good. By the time you went and got it,you had time to think and she would talk it up,hardly used the thing at all,but the whole process worked very well,we did the same thing with our kids,never really having to use a switch,just talk about it was enough.We had a paddle with killer wrote on it,all we did was threaten to go get killer and what little angles they became.