Democrats come up with list to court the evangelical vote

Votto

Diamond Member
Oct 31, 2012
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Evangelicals are once again being blamed for another democrat loss. So, what to do? How can they earn their vote?

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Here is what the DNC came up with.

1. Luigi them all. That's right, it would be justifiable because they elected Hitler and sometimes you have to have a genocide to prevent one.

2. Pretend to be against abortion. Just kidding. Uttering those simple words would cause their heads to spin around as they spewed bile. Also, there is never an exorcist around when you need one.

3. Promise them free Starbucks coffee at their local church on Sundays. This is how Hitler took over the church in Germany.

4. Stop trying to destroy the capitalistic economy with soul crushing inflation and throwing the entire world into an endless war. Again, crazy talk. As if. Why even be a democrat if you can't have such fun?

5. Try to have Trump recite more scripture he has never read, like when he said the words "Two Corinthians" instead of "Second Corinthians". Always a good laugh.

6. Tell whites and men that they are really not as bad as the DNC makes them out to be. Sure, they are worse than everyone else, but not by much. After all, there is only so much you can do with white systemic privileged racism and male toxicity. Not sure if they can win with ONLY the single crazy female vote anymore who have all gotten sterilized or gave up having sex with men after Trump won. After all, there does not seem to be a future there for them, is there?

7. Just whine and bitch and moan and not do anything about it and watch the GOP self-destruct as they can't even build a border wall once again. Ding, ding, ding, ding!! I thinks we have a winner!
 
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