Oh hell... Fine go ahead and divorce. Destroy the country our fathers died for. Since its a no fault divorce, we'll take half (even though it's mostly your fault and non conservatives outnumber cons 60/40 or more). We can divide along North / South lines just like the last time we went through this bullshit.
So, goodbye south. Take your corporate headquarters, and your warm weather, and your friendly people, and your willing wage slaves, and your non-union factories, and your Prairie Chapel Ranch, and your oil wells, and your pipelines, and your oil slicks, and your poisoned fisheries, and your sunshine, and your ah-ha music, and your fireworks stores, and your fine antebellum homes, and your stalwart Republican politics,and your Westboro Baptist Church, and your hurricanes, and your yee-haa disdain for all things intelligent or sophisticated, and be gone. Immediately base a government on Good Christian Values and an economy on trade with Singapore, China, Malaysia, and Korea. Become the Third World country that you so long to be. Live long and prosper.
Take your pestilent half of the United States, complete with its upper crust institutions of higher learning, and its NC research triangle, and its Atlanta New South whatever, and go off and start the fine Christian nation or nations you so deserve. I promise - no war this time.
A key facet of southern foreign policy, of course, would be the South’s relationship to the now-divided USA. In the “divorce” settlement, the North gets to keep America’s reputation and ethos – all that stuff about peace and democracy and helping people around the world, that belongs to us, not the South, because that is not what they stand for. World respect for the USA would go up; the South would be seen as a backward, armed, dangerous ignorant third-world country. Or countries. Any Southern leader who ever hoped to make a mark on the world stage would have only one option -- move north.
The South would insult the North and we would ignore them. The South would beg the North for help and we would ignore them. The South would try to export pot and meth to the North and we would seal the border.
The USA – the North – would thrive in the divorce. We would no longer be hampered by the expensive effort to prop up the South with federal welfare, southern politicians wouldn’t be polluting and impeding our political process, and we could make progress on climate change, health care, Guantanamo, Afghanistan, gays in the military, cleaning up Bush’s mess, and regulating Wall Street, without having to bash down the stone wall of McConnell, Bunning, Saxby Chambliss, Tom Coburn, Thad Cochran, Cornyn, Jim Demint, Lindsay Graham, Inhofe, Dick Shelby, and David Vitter.
Perhaps in the north the non-conservatives would split into Liberals and Blue Dogs; with the political world splitting up something Liberal 50 percent, Blue Dog 30 percent, Republican moderates 10 percent, America would take its long-overdue jump back to the center.
A huge demographic change would inevitably follow.
Millions of women would move from South to the USA up north, because the South will ban abortion; the women will bring their families too.
Blacks will move north, because they saw that census taker get lynched and they know who’s next on the list.
Hispanics will move north because they don’t want to be treated as an invading army or a species of pest.
Gays will move north because the north will repeal DOMA and allow gay marriage.
Liberals and moderates will move north so their voices can be heard.
Anybody who wants their kids to have a quality education and decent health care – move north.
Anybody who wants their rights protected by labor unions – move north.
And who would be ignorant enough to stay in the south?...Oh, why go there…?
